Why Drinking Alone Can Lead to Addiction

On TV, it looks like everyone is doing it. Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation is known to sip on whiskey alone in his office or at home. Carrie Bradshaw pours herself a glass of wine as she sits down to write. Even Homer Simpson puts away one beer after another at home or sitting by himself at Moe’s Tavern.

Is real life different? Is there any harm in pouring yourself a glass of pinot after a long day at work? Or is drinking alone a sign of alcoholism? Science says that drinking alone can be a slippery slope towards alcohol dependence. Let’s take a closer look at the reasons why and explore some healthier ways to unwind, relax, and cope with difficult emotions.

Social Drinking vs. Drinking Alone

Drinking is often a social activity, whether it’s at a party, a dinner with friends, or a casual get-together. In these settings, the presence of others can often can help us moderate our drinking behavior. That said, social drinking isn’t without risks:

• Drinking damages our health. Alcohol affects just about every system in the body, damaging our liver, heart, brain, and kidneys. Even our lungs, muscles, and bones feel the effects! It robs our immune system of precious resources and increases our risk of several types of cancer.
• It gets in the way of authentic interactions. In spite of what we might have always assumed, social drinking isn’t all that “social” when it comes to building true lasting bonds. The connections tend to be superficial, and the “deep” conversations seem less deep in the morning, if we even remember them.
• It can lead to addiction no matter what context we drink in. In the end, alcohol is alcohol — and it’s addictive. It doesn’t matter where we drink or who we drink with: if we do enough of it, we’re risking dependence as our tolerance rises and we drink more and more.

Now that we’ve established the harms of social drinking, let’s turn to solo drinking and explore why it can be particularly risky.

Is Drinking Alone Bad?

When we drink alone, those risks get even higher. Let’s look at the reasons why.

There’s no “social check” to keep our drinking to moderate levels. When we’re surrounded by others, we might hold back a bit more than when we’re alone. We’re hardwired to crave social approval, so getting the side-eye from our friends when we’re knocking back one beer after another on a Tuesday night can serve as a deterrent.

• There’s less distraction from our drinking. Social drinking might not be as conducive to authentic interactions as many of us assume, but there’s still an element of social engagement in it. That means conversations, introductions, jokes, and (especially as the night progresses) arguments. Whether positive or negative in nature, all of these elements take up time, creating some additional distance between ourselves and the glass (or bottle) in front of us.
• If we’re on “home turf,” it’s not as necessary to remain alert. Drinking alone doesn’t always mean drinking at home. But when it does, there might be even fewer factors to hold us back. We don’t have to get behind the wheel, worry about throwing up in an Uber, or stumble back to our apartment in front of our next-door-neighbors — as a result, we might feel free to drink even more.
• Drinking alone makes us secretive. While not all of us hide our solo drinking habits, drinking alone often becomes a secret, especially if it progresses. We might go to great lengths to hide the alcohol use from those around us, whether that means stashing bottles in the back of our closet or planning our social activities around our habit. Doing so comes at a psychological cost — keeping secrets from our loved ones starts to weigh heavy on our mind.
• It leads to isolation over time. With time, drinking alone often leads to greater isolation as we withdraw from our social circle and spend more time either drinking or nursing the next-day hangover. It can become a vicious cycle that makes symptoms of anxiety and depression worse. Our social life suffers, friends grow distant, and we drink to forget all about it for a few hours. But inevitable, we emerge from the boozy haze, feeling lonelier than ever.

As we can see, drinking alone can spell trouble. So why do we do it? There are a few science-backed reasons.

Why Do We Drink Alone?

While drinking alone might seem depressing to some of us, there’s always a reason why we do the things we do. Whether those reasons hold up or not, however, is another question. Let’s take a closer look.

1. We Drink To Relax

The classic reason for drinking alone? Many of us might see it as an innocent way to relax and unwind after a long day. Just like our favorite characters on TV, we pour ourselves a glass of cabernet or grab a six-pack of beer from the fridge and sit back, enjoying our “reward.” But is it really serving us well in the long run? Not really.

• Drinking causes initial relaxation, which then gives rise to anxiety. As a depressant, alcohol causes initial relaxation as our central nervous system slows down. However, there’s a catch: in an effort to rebalance itself, the brain causes the release of chemicals such as dynorphin, leading to rebound anxiety.
• It disrupts our sleep. Another common myth about alcohol is that it helps us sleep. Yes, it might make us doze off, creating the illusion of being a surefire way to catch up on much-needed sleep. However, alcohol robs us of the most restorative REM stages of slumber, throwing a wrench in the body’s ability to repair itself. Moreover, booze disrupts our sleep in the second half of the night, causing frequent awakenings and leading us to wake up groggy and unrefreshed even if we spent 8 hours or more in bed.
• The “relaxation” is really a numbing of emotions. And guess what? That includes the “good” ones as well. So while booze might temporarily drown out the noise of the day, it dampens all the positive feelings we get from authentic interactions, creative pursuits, or even immersing ourselves in a good book.

As Annie Grace puts it in This Naked Mind, 

“Alcohol erases a bit of you every time you drink it. It can even erase entire nights when you are on a binge. Alcohol does not relieve stress; it erases your senses and your ability to think. Alcohol ultimately erases your self.”

So if “erasing ourselves” is the price we pay for this brief “treat,” is it really worth it?

2. We Drink To Cope With Negative Emotions

Sometimes a drink becomes a go-to solution for negative emotions, such as depression or anxiety. Studies show that solo drinking increased dramatically during the COVID pandemic. It makes sense: with all the fear and uncertainty of those difficult times, it’s no wonder many of us reached for the bottle. And the fact that home delivery of alcohol took off during those years made it that much easier.

But while it might seem that alcohol serves as an initial relief, it’s really just an illusion. Inevitably, there’s a rebound effect, and the negative emotions return with more punch than ever. Here’s what happens in more detail:

• Alcohol floods our brain with dopamine, but the high is followed by a crash. The initial pleasure we feel is temporary. After the boost of the “reward” neurotransmitter dopamine, our mood tends to crash as dopamine levels get depleted.
• The initial relief is followed by rebound anxiety and depression. Within a few hours, the dynorphin our brain releases to compensate for the sedative properties of alcohol causes depression as well as the anxiety we mentioned earlier.
• Over time, we start relying on alcohol to cope with negative emotions. This leads to a cycle that leaves us feeling uneasy as we sense that we’re slipping further and further into the alcohol trap.

As we can see, the relief that alcohol seems to provide is a short-lived illusion — one that comes at a high price.

3. Drinking Alone Becomes a Self-Reinforcing Habit

Eventually, no matter why we might have started drinking alone, it turns into a self-perpetuating cycle. The reason for drinking alone on any given day is that we drank alone the day before. Here’s how Marc Lewis puts it in Biology of Desire:

“Brains just do what hundreds of millions of years of evolution have determined to be useful, and that includes identifying things that taste good or feel good to us. The brain distinguishes those things from everything else — the background music of the humdrum world — and propels us to go after them.”

In other words, that dopamine hit that gave us the rush of pleasure and, perhaps, made our problems fade into the background for a bit, becomes the be-all and end-all the more we drink alone. The main reason we find ourselves drinking alone today is that we did so yesterday — no matter what else is going on in our lives.

Drinking Alone: The Road to Addiction?

As we’ve established, drinking alone is a slippery slope. Research backs up what we know from experience: studies show that drinking alone could, indeed, be the road to addiction. A long-term study by a team from Carnegie Mellon University and the University of Michigan found that out of 4,500 adolescents who participated in an ongoing survey for 17 years, those who had a pattern of drinking alone were more likely to report alcohol use disorder (AUD) symptoms by the time they reached the age of 35.

The study included several controls for a number of risk factors that were likely to contribute to AUD — for example, a habit of binge drinking. Still, with those controls in place, the youngsters who fell into the pattern of solitary drinking as adolescents faced a 35% higher risk of developing AUD. Those who continued the pattern of drinking alone as young adults were even more at risk, facing odds that were 60% higher than their social drinking peers.

The team also found a significant difference in the ages of “lone drinkers,” with about a quarter of adolescents and close to 40% of young adults reporting solitary drinking. What does that mean? It means there’s opportunity for targeted interventions to educate and inform youngsters about the risks of sipping solo, before it develops into AUD.

Digging Deeper

Why exactly does drinking alone make alcohol addiction more likely? Let’s take a closer look:

• Changes in brain chemistry pave the way to dependence. As we mentioned earlier, drinking on a regular basis leads to dependence. Over time, we find ourselves drinking just to feel normal and experience withdrawal if we stop.
• It’s easier to miss the signs. Just as drinking alone makes it easier to miss the signs of alcohol misuse, it’s easier to slip into dependence without realizing it.

The result? We continue drinking, falling deeper into dependence as alcohol continues to take up more and more space in our lives. Eventually, it gets difficult to keep it under wraps, and people start to notice the changes. Still, the nature of AUD makes it difficult to stop in spite of the negative effects our drinking is having on all areas of our life.

Luckily, the very same ability of the brain to change itself in response to our drinking patterns can also be the key to getting us out! Known as neuroplasticity, it can serve as a lifeline out of the alcohol trap. By changing the way we see alcohol and engaging in activities that help restore our brain chemistry, we can find our way back to our authentic self again.

Healthier Alternatives to Drinking Alone

How do we promote neuroplasticity to make our habit of drinking alone a thing of the past? Science says there are several proven ways to get started and build momentum.

• Reframe your thinking. First and foremost, we need to understand alcohol’s effects on our body and mind while breaking through the illusion that drinking alone is providing us any actual benefit. Cognitive behavioral therapy provides a useful framework for unveiling and reframing cognitive distortions we might have around booze. Once we see it differently, the allure begins to fade automatically. (Check out Reframe’s CBT-based cognitive restructuring techniques and tools to help you with this process!)
• Get active. Physical activity works wonders in regulating our mood, keeping our body in tip-top shape, and staving off alcohol cravings. Exercise releases endorphins and oxytocin, makes us physically stronger, and helps repair the damage that alcohol left in its wake. Exercise also relieves stress by lowering cortisol (unlike alcohol, which tends to increase it). Want to kick it up a notch? Exercise in nature! (Check out “Green Exercise: The Benefits of Being Active in Nature” for a deep dive.)
• Get mindful. Mindfulness practices activate the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation and reducing stress. These techniques help manage cravings and provide a healthier way to cope with negative emotions. (Want to learn more? Take a look at “How Can Meditation Help Me Overcome Alcohol Misuse?”)
• Get creative. Creative pursuits are another booze-free way to naturally boost dopamine levels. Plus, you’ll end up with a painting to put on your wall, a handmade card to send to your in-laws, or a photo collage to post on Instagram!
• Find your people (and stick with them). Last but not least, stay close to people who support you. Drinking alone can lead to isolation, and it’s time to reconnect with those around you who are eager to help.

And remember, Reframe is here to support you every step of the way! With our science-backed tools to make alcohol a thing of the past and our thriving community of others who’ve been where you are and know what it’s like, we’re thrilled to be a part of your journey!