STATiC: Sharing Life Out Loud

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Kevin: Welcome everyone to another episode of the re frameable podcast, the podcast that brings you people's stories and ideas about how we can work to reframe our relationship, not just with alcohol, but with stress, anxiety, relationships, enjoyment, and so much more. Because changing our relationship with alcohol is about so much more than changing the contents of our glass.

This podcast is brought to you by the Reframe app. Reframe is the number one iOS and Android app to help you cut back or quit drinking alcohol. It uses neuroscience to reframe your relationship with alcohol and unlock the healthiest, happiest you. My name is Kevin Bellack. I'm a certified professional recovery coach and the head of coaching at the Reframe app.

Emma: And I'm Emma Simmons. I'm a reframer, a certified life coach and Thrive coach with Reframe. And I'm from New Zealand. And

Kevin: Today's guest is someone who brings both heart and depth to everything he does.

STATiC has been clean and sober since March [00:01:00] 9th, 2012, and is an active member of spiritual based 12 step recovery. Many in our reframe community know him as a compassionate and insightful meeting host, especially in our alcohol free and neurodivergent groups where he openly shares his experience of navigating addiction alongside a late diagnosis of autism and A DHD growing up feeling like quote unquote a 4,000 year old alien in a child's body.

He now reframes what were once called learning disabilities as differences in learning abilities, turning them into a system of strengths. Outside of recovery, STATiC is an accomplished multi-instrumentalist with over 25 years in the music industry. He spent 16 years with the band Ours recording under Universal Ann Sony and has performed with legends like Darrell, DMC, McDaniels of Run DMC, Simon Kirk of Bad Company, and even played Wembley Arena.

These days, his music has evolved into sound healing and meditative sound baths, a natural [00:02:00] extension of his ambient atmospheric style. Offering grounding sonic experiences that align beautifully with his recovery journey. STATiC. Also mentors at Risk Youth through Road Recovey in New York City. Works as an artist performance coach and continues to share his voice across the recovery and mental health space through podcasts, public speaking and community support.

In his words. Living as a sober musician heightened my ability to recognize learning opportunities around me. Please join us in welcoming the ever insightful, deeply creative and incredibly generous STATiC to the Reframeable podcast. Welcome. Yay.

Emma: Whoa. That is quite an intro, right?

STATiC: That's a lot. Was a lot. I don't have to say it. I'm glad I don't have to read it. You know how I do with the reading of things?

Emma: Yeah, but you've done, you just

STATiC: saw how I did.

Kevin: They walked. Nobody else will, but we did. So, but we did given us the

Emma: edit button.

Kevin: I have the power,

Emma: but that's I don't know. [00:03:00] When you put it all in one, like I, I think I knew most of these things about you STATiC, but when you put it all in one or in three paragraphs, like in one blurb, it's whoa, there is so much to you.

STATiC: Yeah. And we left out the cooking thing, but that was not important Right Now

Emma: it's what else could you do? STATiC loves to cook.

Kevin: I was gonna say, in my opinion, that was my first job too. That's important right Now. Let's talk about it

STATiC: now. I wanna know there's a connection. There's a connection and we talk about all the things that we fill our lives with when we're not filling our cups anymore with the things we shouldn't be.

It's a part of the self-love. Self-love is huge for me. Any anyway we can care for ourselves and making food that letting us know we matter. It doesn't have to be fancy. You don't have to be a chef. Yeah. It's just one of those little details. I have a whole list of things to say. We matter.

Emma: Yeah, I like that.

That little things like just food and it doesn't have to be this amazing three course meal. It can be, I dunno, at the moment, my big thing is, well it's still Fi Joe is as it [00:04:00] was last week, but Fi Joe is and oh, Emma words hot cross buns. Do you guys have hot cross buns over there for Easter?

STATiC: Hot cross buns?

Like actual, like a song, like the song that everybody learns on piano when they first learn piano. Do you

Emma: not act? It's an actual thing. Hot buns. Hot. It's an extra food. So I don't know what it

STATiC: is is it a, like a cinon dessert food? Is it like, oh,

Emma: hang on.

STATiC: When I heard, what was it? What was that Yorkshire pudding when I found out that had nothing to do with dessert.

What is Yorkshire Pudding? It's like an interesting fluffy bread cake, but you have it with food.

Emma: It's almost like a pastry that you have with a roast. A Yorkshire pudding is so it's like a Okay. I roast. Yeah, it's almost like a pastry, but it's kind almost deep while you roast it. It's almost deep fried, but it's like a, it's to help mop up the gravy.

Anyhow, so this is a hot cross bun, so what I'm holding is a little like palm sized bread bun. It's like a spiced bread with, it's got raisins and curries. Raisins and I dunno, other fruity, chunky bits in it. And then it's got a little [00:05:00] white cross on the top. It's a hot cross stone

STATiC: kind of dessert ish, but not necessarily super sweet.

Good with coffee.

Emma: Good with coffee. It's more of a breakfast morning tea brunchy kind of thing.

STATiC: You That makes sense. Toast it and

Emma: put shit loads of butter on it and

STATiC: it's, yeah. It's delicious. Gotcha. Okay. Yeah. Well now we know what hot cross buns are. Yeah. But now, what I would say is something like that is we don't know how to make it, but when we go to eat it, when I was learning myself worth in early recovery was like, well, let me at least put it on a plate.

Lemme not just eat outta the box like I might have. So that was like, that's part of that thing. It's like we take that extra second, let's, that's why I say yeah, people, well what if I'm just drinking cranberry juice and club soda? I'm like, well put a lime in a fancy straw mason jar. Some cool looking ice.

And why our drink is just as nice as the people we may have said oh, they have the fancy stuff. Take away one ingredient. Still live it up. Yep. So, yeah,

Emma: I love it when you go out to a restaurant or a bar or some kind of event with [00:06:00] friends that are drinking and you order a mocktail and it is the coolest, prettiest, most flavorsome just the awesomest drink out of it.

And everyone's got like a lame, I don't know, whatever standard drink it is, and they're like, wow, yours is so cool. And you're like, I know, because I'm so cool.

STATiC: I don't know much about New Zealand, but I imagine there's probably an abundance of things that are way fresher than like living in the Midwest United States.

So I can imagine a mocktail like in Hawaii or Tahiti is also gonna be, whoa, we got everything incredible in it. Besides everything

Emma: fresh. Yeah. Yeah, New Zealand, I mean, we do grow a lot of our own stuff, so there's a lot of fresh and seasonal stuff, but we do have to import a lot as well. And because we're at the as end of the world

STATiC: sometimes it's tricky.

It makes you think that once the mocktail experience started to be a thing that the people who were really trying to create, it really cared.

Kevin: Yeah.

STATiC: Do you really care about the people who don't want to drink and be like, you're gonna, you're gonna matter. You're gonna have something nice, not just oh, club soda.

Cool. [00:07:00] You're good. Yeah. Which is soda water, depending on where you live or seltzer, I'm not sure where it is down by you.

Emma: Yeah. So, and sparkling

STATiC: water is not quite the same, but it's close.

Emma: Yeah. When I first joined Reframe, everyone would talk about how they were loving drinking their seltzers. And I was like, interesting.

Because in New Zealand we would call a seltzer, like it has alcohol in it, so it's like a vodka, like a soda water with vodka and flavoring as marketed as a seltzer. And so when, yeah, when I first joined Reframe and everyone was like, I found, I've been just really enjoying all these seltzers.

I was like, what's going on? Yeah. So it took my group to reach out. I reached out to my group and I was like, I don't understand what's going on. And they showed me, and then I got to experience them when I wasn't states. And you guys were blessed with so many flavors, so many options.

STATiC: Now we have years worth of the translation of things said in New Zealand.

In things said in the United States, it all started with seltzers and we're gonna leave it there.

Kevin: That's [00:08:00] every episode.

Emma: It's a never ending pit of what the hell did images say?

Kevin: Just don't talk about the weather or any kind of weight because we don't need to convert kilogram or whatever to pounds and we don't need to do Celsius the Fahrenheit.

We've gone down that rabbit hole way too many times. I did see

Emma: a podcast the other day of someone talking about oh, not a podcast. Oh my gosh, Emma a reel. And someone was like, it's 72 degrees Fahrenheit and I dunno what it, what that is in kilometers. They don't ask me to convert it. And I was like, yeah, that's how we roll.

Kevin: Yeah, on the the whole mocktail menu thing too. Whenever I'm out, I always like to, even if it's like nothing that like really jumps out at me, I always like to order from it because if you have one of those, I'm gonna support that. And usually it's really good. I got the so somebody cares.

Yes. There we go. I love the one place, this one taco place. What had shooter mcg Gavin? So it was like an [00:09:00] Arnold Palmer, but it was like ginger beer with an Arnold Palmer. I love ginger beer, so

STATiC: Oh yeah. That is a good one to try out. I like that. I mix all kinds of crazy stuff together. Sometimes people are like, you're kidding me?

I'm like, it's gonna taste good, trust me. It's at least probably not gonna taste bad. Let's go though and we'll wake up fine. Yes. Wake up fine. Wake up

Emma: feeling good.

STATiC: Doesn't matter how it tastes, you're gonna wake up fine.

Emma: So STATiC, one of the things you often say in your meetings is the topic is you. And in this podcast the topic is you.

Oh

STATiC: me. How does that feel? No, the topic is,

Emma: I, yeah, I wanna own a reverse attic. So how, I am curious, I dunno if I've heard this story, but how did you get into sobriety? What was it that kick started it for you?

STATiC: Well, [00:10:00] like the time now where I'm actually still in it. 'cause the FI did, I do have two moments where I thought it'd be better off, but then I relapsed and then I stayed out for a while.

I mean it's, that's my whole story roots in all the classic signs of alcoholism, like when you like the big one. 'cause when you start digging back it's like I acted like an alcoholic before I touched alcohol. I very have a compulsive, so there was a few. Moments where I realized it wasn't the right way for me, but I didn't know.

The thing is I kept thinking, this is not good for me. This is not working. But I didn't know the joy of what we call alcohol free, your sobriety, like that this has a life, this is amazing. Life enters. So that got thrown in the third time when I was just still years of just overdoing it. And I started to realize that I really couldn't stop once I started drinking, which I probably realized a few times, but this is when I was [00:11:00] realizing it while it was happening.

If that makes sense. Like the other times when I'm like, at this point I've done so much digging and peeling this onion that I could see oh yeah, even when you were 15, once you started consuming, you couldn't stop. But I didn't look at it that way when I was 15 this time, those last few months, I was like, why can't I stop?

And what was interesting was I was on a health quest, as funny as that sounds, while partying. And I found out I did some, cleanse or you eat kale, lentils and like broth and no caffeine, no nothing. And realized I was allergic to all these different things. One of them being wheat and gluten.

And when I came off the cleanse, I realized I couldn't have certain things and I was trying to eat healthy. And I would do these things, but then I would go on the weekends and binge drink. So I wasn't drinking all the time. In the end, I was definitely trying to like, figure out what was going on quickly prove that moderation doesn't exist for me at all.

'cause I'm stubborn, I'm disciplined. [00:12:00] Like the idea of stopping for a while, that's not, that was never, I'm stubborn simple as that. But then I would also listen to the instant forgetter, my drinker thinker. So after like five, six days of being like, this is feeling good. And then I'd be around substance or alcohol and be like, sure, let's do this.

And as soon as it hits my system, it's like I'm in and I don't stop. Yeah.

Emma: It's like an all or nothing mentality, right? You're either gonna go all in or you are not in at all.

STATiC: Yep. And so that was like a few months of that. I was in a, I guess an early stage of a relationship at that time that was long distance.

I lived around New York area. She lived in Venice, California, near Los Angeles. She was also a musician and at that point I met a few of her friends that I really thought like they were just so cool and they glowed as weird as that sounds like they were functioning in the music world, but like really solid people.

They weren't like train wreck energy at all. And I remember the last time I overdid it, I was out really bad that night and my [00:13:00] phone died and it probably died when I was on the phone talking to her driving home, which I definitely should not have been driving. I'm very fortunate that was a yet for me.

I got home and I kept hearing Skype. The sound of Skype. A lot of people know Skype. Now we're like, zoom zoom, zoom. Back then like Skype. Og. Yep. Skype. That's how we did international. That's you had the video chat. Whoa. Video chat, star Trek. And my laptop was, I guess lap, well, lap, lit open.

I must have left it on the to table next to my bed. And it was just going, I woke up and it was her, and she's I thought you were dead. Where were you on your phone? And then just died, went out. And and it's just, I didn't sign up for this. I don't know what's going on. I know what this stuff is.

You, you need to figure it out. I have friends that could help you. And I remember waking up, walking down the hall, looking out the window, and my car was like half on, half off, like the curb grass area where I would park with the trunk open. I'm still I still don't know why the trunk was opened. [00:14:00] Not important anymore.

And I was like, this is, this got change.

Emma: Yeah.

STATiC: So that's the first time when it's I saw it coming and then once it did, I was like, this has gotta change. And I, and you don't, and doing it for someone else is not the way we do it, but sometimes it's the wake up call might come from someone else.

And I guess in that moment it was the idea of I'm destroying stuff around me. I'm destroying a relationship.

And then I realized this is my journey and I have to actually do this for me.

Emma: And did you like in that moment, did you match yourself off to a meeting or a doctor or a, like how did it

STATiC: No.

You just complete, complete stop. Like the first two times thought I could do it. Yeah.

Kevin: First

STATiC: few times.

Kevin: Yeah. If you, I was wondering if you took her up on the offer of, I have friends that can help

STATiC: it slowly. So that difference was the first two times was I had no idea. I just thought it was a not drinking life and I was just gonna be miserable and deal with it.

Yeah. Second time I was around somebody that had some recovery, but I didn't want to hear it. But I was at [00:15:00] least actively thinking well, I'm counting days and stuff like that. But again, after 11 months, the second time I thought I was the famous, I'm fine. Both times I had the, I'm fines.

That's how my instant forgetter worked this time I was like, I am, I need to really lock this down. And I was about to go on tour in two months. So again, like now I'm sitting like, wait, I gotta go back out on the road. I gotta pull this together. So I was leaning on part of the tools. I didn't know there were tools yet.

But I was really curious about this non vice life of alcohol and drugs, especially in the music world. And I was finding speaker tapes before we had a lot of podcasts, like recordings of famous musicians qualifying, their addiction, their alcoholism. And the first one I listened to, I was just like, how am I exactly like this person?

So then I think I was getting really good early information that was hitting you when you're ready, you're raw. And thankfully some of her friends who I'm super tight with to this day, like her and I don't talk, but me and them, like they, they eventually were the ones to [00:16:00] bring me into the meeting re recovery format that got me like, really happy.

I like to say like sobriety for me is when I wasn't a danger to myself emotionally and to people around me. It's not a physical danger, just an emotional mess. And so my 11 months that time I was closer to people that knew about this, and they would say like, maybe you should go to a meeting.

I'm like, ah, I don't know. And instead of being like, oh, you gotta go to a meeting, since they were people who were practicing a system, they do what we're taught. So they're like, well, do me a favor then Just call me every day. Tell me how you're doing. Okay. I just think I'm calling how I'm doing. And they would just drop these little tidbits and everything they said to me was like, oh, wow, that's cool.

Okay. I had no idea until I eventually was in this for a while. I was like, whoa. They're just doing exactly what's. How it's done. I just, they go, you're going on tour. Okay call me. You're gonna get to every city. Make sure you either have something stashed for yourself, the good stash. Now remember your good stash is what you could do.

And I'm like, ah, Virgil's root beer and rai nets. They go, make sure you have enough Virgil's root beer and [00:17:00] rai nets. Ask the venue, tell 'em you're, you don't want that. You don't drink and you have any alternatives. And there was people in venues like pulling whole coffee carts up near the stage 'cause they don't really need coffee.

Not anyone. Like I have a whole like Mr. Coffee, coffee pot, like on my amp case drinking coffee, like mid show. And I started and they said, look, for people who aren't drinking alcohol at the after show, because if you, and they said it's almost a sure thing if you're around a bunch of musicians and you scan the room and you see a bunch of water bottles or like club soda not loaded seltzer like in New Zealand.

Kevin: Yeah.

STATiC: That guaranteed they're on a similar journey or at least they're safe to talk to. And then I met more people again, Hey, I go to meetings, I'm alright. And that guy would come back every day after soundcheck and do what a meeting would be, but I don't know what a meeting would be. So that went on for about 11 months of being so around it.

Even somebody gimme a coin to hold onto and say, gimme back, gimme this back when you make one year. I'm like, okay, this is cute. I don't know what it means. But the thing is, during that 11 [00:18:00] months I was unraveling again because I was still doing it on my own and I was the worst version of myself.

And about 11 months into that, I was in California with people that I really look up to, these people I'm talking about. And the Super Bowl was about, because my sober date's in March, so it's February. And I go, do you guys ever see like beer on tv? And just want it. They're like, how long have it been?

She had a drink. I'm like, 11 months. They're like, have you gone to a meeting yet? And as for everybody who's listening, in 2012 alternative, it wasn't really options. I mean, and it wasn't, and it, and I'm not, that option works for me, but we didn't have an online environment. There was no system to do anything.

You always had to go in person. So if, even if it was other meetings or other types of programs or other kinds of support, it was in person. Yeah. And that's just an awkward feeling, right? Like eating you're gonna show up and who knows? I mean, so anyway, yeah. That's how it all took. So 11 months in, went back to where I grew up in New Jersey.

'cause I was going back home after working. I said, I'll, I'm [00:19:00] going home tomorrow. I'll look for a meeting. A friend from high school I knew was not drinking either. I say that 'cause that marks that time. I found out later that they're very sober. And that's why when I said, Hey, I noticed you celebrate like not drinking.

And I'm like 11 months into this, I'm having a hard time. Someone told me to go to a meeting and it was like, that reply is it was almost like a canned reply. Like they've had this question before. You could go this one, that one like this is at seven o'clock and this one.

Sometimes we go to pizza place after this one has good coffee. Like then telling you like the coffee and who has the better cookies. That's the whole in-person experience.

Emma: I love that so much. Like that was part of the not the sales pitch that makes it sound bad. But that was, it's definitely part of something to consider.

This place has good coffee, this one has good cookies, this one has, like the hall is, has great parking or like this is,

STATiC: yeah, it's all, it's 'cause they wanna make it seem really welcoming. 'cause once you're a part of that and someone asked you like I'll, I mean I was like, you need a ride.

Like you, you make it really, you don't wanna make any of this feel difficult for somebody. 'cause again, [00:20:00] there was no other, you had to go in person. So it's not like even, like I said, there's probably more support options than maybe the most obvious at the time. But they were still in person. There was no online environment.

We are so fortunate with this whole, like everyone's around the world on the same meeting

Emma: so cool.

STATiC: It's like the all star game. Yeah. It's so cool. So yeah, that's, and that got me and once I went there, I was like this is who I am. I was able to identify and understand that. Going back was not an option I didn't worry about forever.

I just knew I was better off. So one day at a time since then, didn't worry

Kevin: about forever. I just knew I was better off. That's huge. That's a good place to be. Huge. Maybe a hard place to be at too. Yeah. I mean, 'cause that's one of the biggest struggles that I see with, well, myself and other people.

E even if you mentioned sure, let's do this. The instant forgetter, I think you called it it's, it can be that that [00:21:00] battle in our head of, am I okay now? Can I drink now? It's been a while. And I figure, the way I look at it is you're not practicing moderation.

You're practicing not drinking. So like, whenever you say oh, well I'm fixed. It's no, you're good because you stopped and when you reintroduce it, it's not saying that it can't work. I'm just saying it's a whole new ball game.

STATiC: Yeah.

Kevin: And then for some of us, if we've

STATiC: already tried that and proved it, I had enough proof.

I mean, that was my third. Yeah. Legit try. So when we have the data, we have the data. Yeah. That's what I said with,

Kevin: go ahead.

STATiC: No. It was you were hinting at that thing. I've done it for so long, and almost our minds like, let's celebrate that. It's but life got good because you removed it.

So to add it it's almost like I, I got burnt because I never wore sunscreen. And all of a sudden, like I start wearing sunscreen for a year and I don't get sunburnt anymore, and it's this is awesome. Let me celebrate by not wearing sunscreen today and then get burned again.

Kevin: Yeah.

STATiC: But my mind does say it's [00:22:00] okay. That's the thing. I'm not making fun of anyone that's ever felt that by all means. 'cause that's how I would justify it.

Kevin: Yeah. I myself I had to ask myself and this is probably like the last time I drank that week leading up to it, I was going back and forth and I was like, you know what?

Next Monday, I'm just gonna start again. I had, I took a break. I went back and forth with trying to moderate stopping, trying to moderate stopping. And then I said, okay, you know what? Next Monday we're gonna stop again. Let's just try another stint, see what happens. That was six years ago. But I had to say to myself like, I.

Why are you trying so hard to keep this in your life? Yeah. Finally like that question hit me and I was like, shit, I don't know. Why am I like, because it has been such a huge part. That's why, I mean, I get it, but to ask that and truly trying to answer it was tough. [00:23:00] Yeah. And that's our brain. Yeah.

Emma: Yeah. And that's a huge part of, I guess, doing the work and figuring out, like it's not just not putting alcohol in your mouth.

It's not just about not drinking, it's not just about white knuckling through it. It's about digging down to, but why did you drink? Why did you want to drink? Why did you feel like you needed to drink? Yeah. And why do you keep going back to it? Lots of whys there.

STATiC: Yeah. And depending on how you started, like by me not really looking for the help right away, I was miserable. I was the worst version of myself with the alcohol being removed.

Kevin: So

STATiC: there's that key moment where my brain could have took over. But thankfully then I completely was like, I need someone to show me what to do. And then I started to hear that once the alcohol's gone. So now how are you doing?

What's going on, the mind is still there. So that, and that's not necessarily everyone that's, that is the distinction. And I'm very open about first of all, I just love the fact that Reframe has everybody, and I'll tell I'll talk on meetings and be like, some people would [00:24:00] think, when you hear me talk about like my existence of the hopeless alcoholic, that it's I feel like, oh, I got it worse.

No. When someone comes here and says, I just want a life without alcohol, I love you 'cause you just showed me how cool this is and how special it is. Just because I got I didn't have a choice, got thrown in. It's open the door, throw a kid in and see what happens when people show up.

Say I, this is not working. And you're that aware. And then you say life is getting so much better. I look at that as the greatest example of it's just about having a good life and we all come from a different level of bumps and jumps and how we get here. And then once we're not drinking, we're just building a good life.

And I had so much more work on how to be a person once I realized alcohol wasn't a factor. Age 13 to 35 of self-medicating and burying and not being diagnosed with anything. And not, I mean that, that whole story alone it's like ohs makes perfect sense.

Emma: Did you STATiC, did you get diagnosed with a DHD and [00:25:00] autism after you quit?

Well, you did get diagnosed after you quit drinking alcohol. Yeah. Oh yeah. Is that correct? Yeah, it was. Did you notice that like your symptoms ramped up after you

quit drinking? So

STATiC: in a complete like review, if I look back on life, there were so many obvious signs, but I also lived a life where it was so easy to never be seen because the type of schedule I kept, the musician life, where you literally just picked your three favorite pairs of black clothes and just wear those and all these patterns that just made my life so much easier and not very non-conventional.

And then burying and masking terribly deep ma like really thick masking and pushing things down while self-medicating from 13 to 35. It took years to really surface what was happening. So while I was digging into my recovery life and things were just always getting better, once I really started working that program, and I was about 10 years in of my sobriety.

I mean, I've only been diagnosed [00:26:00] like it was, I mean like maybe 20, 21 the therapy started to find out what was going on. So it was one of those moments where in my recovery life, it's like everything is really clicking now. I'm like, I love all these meetings I go to. I'm in all these like environments with people that inspire me.

I'm doing the work as we call it. We have our steps. And then in the whole big thing is when you get to take other people through that, it's like such a joy. Like you're showing 'em how you did it. And all that on paper was like, this is all great. But then I wasn't all great. And I was at a meeting, which was amazing, and I was saying like, everything is just I feel like everything's going the way.

I guess I, it seems it's supposed to. And I'm doing all this and this other stuff is starting to happen and someone mentioned therapy and because I'm, I come, sometimes I wake up to depressed, I'm not sure it's going on, but I mean this is where I get my help. And then someone said, well, if you break broke your arm, would you go here to an emergency room?

I was like, oh. And literally in the literature that I come from, it says, more will be revealed and you may need to seek [00:27:00] outside help because you're clearing this first layer.

Kevin: For me, maybe

STATiC: it was 10 years layers and that's when it happened. And then that was, that's been endless. That started just with, oh, this is like a DHD.

Then you're getting more evaluations. 'cause now more stuff is unraveling in me. Things are just coming to the surface. I'm like in it and it's pretty wild. I mean, when you look back, you're like, wow, this all makes sense.

Emma: It's Nats how many layers of, I don't know, fog, alcohol puts on your life, your personality, just how you function and who you are as a human.

It's just layer after layer and then you start removing one layer at a time and you remove that alcohol and this beautiful being starts coming out. Yeah, no, it's a pretty fun time though when that like being starts blossoming.

STATiC: Especially if you found your way into the constant growth because you already said, I'm okay with getting help.

So now it's okay, well whoa. What other help do I need? What do I need to learn about? I'm already in the process. Like I've, I and I, that's one of the things I reinforce when we even talk [00:28:00] on meetings. It's you're here, you're already showing the greatest example of self-care and love for yourself by showing up to a meeting.

You might not even feel like that today, but you have done so much 'cause you showed up. And then we just stay that way. Am I willing to show up somewhere else that might help me more?

Kevin: Because you never know what you're gonna find out. Like when you go to a meeting, wherever. When you open up a book, when you turn on a podcast, you never know what is going to hit and click.

And that's the importance of just showing up. you don't have to share, you don't have to turn your camera on if it's virtual, you don't have to eat the cookies, although why wouldn't you if you're at a meeting. But it's, it's that just opportunity that could come up that we don't know.

I think, I feel like there's so many that I can point to of just, oh, there's one line from this book that, just hits. I don't get too dramatic, but like some of 'em are like, I could be like, change my life. Yeah. Because of how [00:29:00] it hit at that Right time.

Emma: It's funny how you say you can turn up, without, you can turn up his iPhone and black screen and you don't have to turn your camera on.

And that's, and a hundred percent you can do that. And sometimes that's the safe place for us to begin with. And often in meetings where people will be like, oh, I'm here checking in cameras off because I've just woken up and I'm like, man, when I started with Reframe, the Daily chickens were 7:00 AM and I would roll out of bed, Chuck on my dear onesie, and I was camera on and y'all you two were both hosting meetings when I first started.

I would be in the kitchen making breakfast, getting making lunch boxes, getting my kids off to school. I'm in a onesie and I've got earbuds in 'cause I'm listening and I'm just taking it all in. But I was, I don't know. It definitely helped me connect with other people and maybe just people seeing me with my kids and knowing that,

Kevin: I don't

Emma: know, life's still lifing, but I'm still here and I'm still trying to figure this out.

So, yeah, you don't [00:30:00] need to be afraid of waking rolling outta bed with bed hair and a onesie. And

Kevin: me too. Trying to figure this out. You did just remind me though that I think it was for your, when you did a speaker share on Reframe, Emma, I have the exact same dear onesie that you have, and I wore that for that speaker share.

So good. I totally forgot about that.

STATiC: I'm so upset I missed your first one. I was rushing home from work and I was teaching kids and I got on for you just like wrapped. And I got to see all the reaction and love people were giving you. But I missed the whole thing. I was like, ah, I've slowly been rearrange that schedule.

That's why I've been very present. Ev and ev on a lot of the speakers share meetings. I feel it's an amazing, I'm all about speaker meetings. It's so important to listen to people's story like that. So good. Yeah. People's stories.

Emma: Yeah. Yeah. So I was, I planned that really poorly because I was like, yeah, everyone, we are a onesie.

This is great. And then I forgot that it was like the 29th of December or something, which is Yeah, the summer in New Zealand. So I was sitting in a [00:31:00] onesie sweating. So I didn't turn this one now guys. I'm so sorry.

STATiC: It's so hot in here. Yeah.

Emma: With the aircon cranking and it, the rest of the family is freezing.

And I was like,

Kevin: but yeah. Yeah. You mentioned people like hearing people's stories and, speaker tapes back in the day. And that's how, I, that's what helped me a lot. 'cause I didn't do it. Reframe wasn't around. I got a therapist in the beginning to start off. Not, I guess to start off, obviously I always have a problem with the start that everybody talks about.

'cause I'm like, it started well before, like the date that I might give you as the start. There was a lot of things that were set in motion, but I pick a day that I actually did something to make a change as my kind of official start. But anyway, like I was listening to quit Lit any kind of podcast book, anything [00:32:00] about someone sharing their story, that was what I considered my meetings. 'cause on the way to work, on the way home from work that was just, sometimes during work in my ear listening. And they were usually people who I, I would not relate to in really any way whatsoever for any reason.

And I heard some of my thoughts in the stories. Yeah. And I'm like, huh, interesting. I thought that too. I feel that too. I exact, I know exactly what you're saying right now, even though I've never been in that situation. So yeah, that power of hearing someone share their story and being so open and vulnerable is huge.

STATiC: That's where you learn to relate and stop comparing. No, there's nothing to compare. We learn to relate. And anybody that we may have thought is not like us on, and I say this a lot in meetings, I say you might see somebody on the surface. I go on the surface, you may not see anything in common with, and that's what I'm saying, the surface, how shallow is [00:33:00] just the surface.

Yeah. Then we hear our story through somebody and then we have our that's me moment and it's usually gonna be somebody we never would expect it from and it's gonna keep happening. So I, that's why I think in general that's a meeting experience, but when you get a long form story, at some point, everyone that room's you be like, oh, you guys see heads nodding.

Yeah. I get that one. Oh, I was there. That's me. Yeah. I love that. That's me concept saying that. Yeah. Most of these I just throw outta the air. Half of my stuff is borrowed from where I come from. And then a lot of it's been since I, I really do truly adore this environment of bringing everybody together from so many places.

Like even the fact that we are cutback and alcohol free and I'm always conscious that I wanna make sure this, it's not even me trying to force something. There is such a connection to everyone. Whatever we were doing with alcohol. Wasn't working otherwise we wouldn't have shown up here. And we are all desiring some sort of change.

And we're all connected, period. That's all we need. Our language is gonna be different [00:34:00] how we describe it the way we call it, if we're doing, if we're abstinent based, if we are mindfully moderating and successfully living that life. But again, we came here knowing alcohol was not working for us. In, in, in the current relationship we had to change that.

And that's what we're here for. The support. So that broad openness to the story of change just makes it that much easier. Like, why do I gotta, I don't want to get hung up on the language because I get so much more out of it. And I, and the thing is, if you asked me that three weeks into this, or two months into this, maybe two years, I didn't have that level of openness.

So that's why we do it gently and we just remind people like, that's why I'm here.

Emma: Yeah. I think that's something I'm really big on as well. And that I, make sure that people feel, I don't know, comfortable with is that you don't, I think for me and for a lot of people, I thought I had to get to a level of alcoholism before I needed to seek help.

Like how bad does it need to be before I need to seek help. And am I there yet [00:35:00] without realizing that, it can be, that's a sliding scale. If any amount of alcohol doesn't.

Impacting your physical health and absolutely let's address it. But yeah, there's no there's no cutoff point of okay, now you need to seek help. It's so different for everyone.

STATiC: And yets should be reminder the yet is the you're seeing an iceberg when someone's oh I, well I didn't, it's, I didn't play out

Emma: so Yeah.

I

STATiC: didn't have a dwi I yet, or DUI or get arrested yet. Yeah. Well, yeah. Yet. And if I kept doing, if you kept, if I kept doing that, I would've So the yet, and then I always like to describe when people like the idea of rock bottom. Because even when I started in 12 step meetings, I was going to meetings in suburban New Jersey with a lot of same places I grew up.

I mean, I remember it was so incredible. I walked into my first meetings look feeling like an alien, still looking like I came off the road. 'cause I used to just always look like I was on stage with [00:36:00] dreads past my waist, probably glitter outta my eyes and all in black and legitimately dudes with hats on that had ships from World War ii, like guys as old as my great uncle who were on their way to their nineties with 40 to 50 years of sober time.

So first and like trying to get up the steps with walkers and just getting into the meeting. So right. Real quick, I realized I shouldn't be complaining about nothing right now. 'cause this guy's still going and bouncing off the walls. Like they're just gruff sunshine because they're sunshine, because they love this life

Kevin: sunshine.

But if

STATiC: you, if those old timers, if you were like, eh, you're a little whiny yourself, they'd be like, all right kid, do me a favor. Just, take the cotton outta your, put it in your mouth, listen for a while. Like that was, and I needed that. I was fine with it. I'm not saying everybody needs that kind of environment that works for me.

Yeah. And they were loving though. Then they'd put their hand on, you'd be like, stay, just hang out. And then they would, then at the end, you'd be drinking coffee with them in those, depending on where good or bad cookies. [00:37:00] So that's that environment of you you're hearing rock bottoms, like I was hearing rock bottoms from a time where the word was actually conceived with some of these dudes with 40, 50 years.

Like they go back to the beginning of the idea of recovery being acknowledged. Most people won't realize before the thirties they would lock any of us up. They would sterilize us, lobotomize us, like the stuff they did to somebody who would be picked up for pub public drunkenness more than once or twice.

And then a medical doctor would say well, they're a sought, there's another word for alcoholic. And then they would just be thrown in institution. So the idea of someone telling you, go to a meeting, have some cookies, and maybe some older guy might say Hey kid, take the cotton outta your ears.

I'm like, oh, I got easy. And the one cool thing, I mean, for me, it's all cool things, but to learn some of that history in general that was like, oh, I'm better off here than getting electric shock therapy lobotomized or sterilized or any of the ISS that they wanted to do. But again, hearing those rock bottoms, lemme get back on track.

Maybe I was wrong, maybe I was wrong about my late night focus. The rock [00:38:00] bottom idea, I was hearing bottoms that were just, they sound like when you're watching a movie and they talk about this now thing is you don't have to be physically addicted to alcohol to be the alcoholic as described in certain literature.

This is not medical, this is not psychological clinical terminology, but this is the terminology that makes you go, oh, that's me. I need change. So that's a big wake up. Like you never need to be physically addicted to it. You don't have to drink every day. You don't have to go to a doctor to be detoxed.

But if you fit all these patterns, you hit all these marks like I was talking about, not being able to stop and the rock bottom, then I'm like, well, I guess in a younger generation the rock bottom's very different because you see warning signs earlier. We have more education. We watch tv. We know our favorite bands like up, down, up, down.

I basically understood right away, like just little lights went on in my head. It's the moment I started to accept what I've once considered [00:39:00] unacceptable about myself. If I said it's unacceptable to drink in the morning, I start accepting that it's basically crossing your own lines once you set those lines, and, and I could, you could like just know, like I always pre preface like there's no, like any facts on anything I'm saying technically, but there is the vibrational truth that if I make a boundary or a line and I cross it, and maybe there is more fact on it, I'm not coming from a factual place.

I'm coming from I did it. I made the lines, I'm not gonna drink and drive, and then I drank and drive and I'm not gonna, it's just you just keep doing that. Why keep crossing the line? So now I'm accepting what I once deemed unacceptable. Well, that's enough of a rock bottom for me. I don't have to have all the other yets yet.

Emma: That hits so true. That's my rock bottom wasn't a huge catastrophic rock bottom. It was. I was drinking wine in my daughter's bed while we were reading Harry Potter at bedtime. And I went to give her a kiss goodnight, and she was [00:40:00] like, Ugh, your breast smells so bad. That was my rock bottom. And like you just said, and I've never realized it, but I've crossed a line that I.

Thought I would never cross, and that was my rock bottom.

Kevin: There I can

Emma: imagine there are thousands of moms out there in the world that, get through bedtime with a glass of wine.

Kevin: But yeah, that was my,

Slap the face. Yeah. That hit for me too, because that was, I was thinking of my, what I consider my rock bottom, because it is not stereotypical.

Kevin: It was I broke down on my couch and said, I can't keep doing this because it was a Tuesday. I finished up work and the day before I had gotten a bottle of whiskey, drank half of it, and Tuesday came home and I'm like, well, let's open up some wine because I don't wanna drink as if I open up the whole, I'm gonna, I'm gonna drink the rest of it.

And I finished bottle of wine, started on the bottle of whiskey and finished that. And I, when I poured that last [00:41:00] piece or that last bit, that's when, that was the moment I was like, I can't keep doing this. I, that was a huge line that apparently I crossed after many other lines, but,

STATiC: And it's, and what's amazing when people wonder these moments where we say we never know.

If we think maybe I'm cured, maybe I'm fine. Yeah. Did you hear the way you just told that story? Telling

Kevin: yourself the

STATiC: truth? I. Yeah.

There's, so if you ever think you're fine, at least if you're like me, if I ever thought I'm fine. 'cause I could tell all those stories exactly the same as you did.

It's like I'm telling 'em, I'm feeling 'em again. Yeah. I'm lying to myself the moment. I said, at any point in the past, I can't do this anymore. That's what I'm telling myself the truth.

Even though I listened to myself for decades, but I definitely was trying to tell myself the truth a

Kevin: bunch of times. Yeah. But then, I mean, but then you see some rock bottoms. I remember [00:42:00] listening to a share, I think it was an Instagram live, and it was homeless legal issues. And I left it not, and I didn't say this in a I'm better than this person or anything, but I was like, I wasn't that bad.

Like I was thinking about myself. I'm like, and then it became a, was I really that bad? And I was I was, I think a little over a year or just around a year, alcohol free. And I was thinking that, and I had to think about it and be like, well, was I that bad? What was, what's my anchor that I can hang my hat on right now and ground myself in this?

And it was, yeah, it was some of those things like whenever I couldn't stop pouring the next drink at night and I'm just like, I just go to bed. No, I'm just one more and then I'll go to bed and then pour another one. And it's, it was those types of things that I remembered then that I was like, okay, that's, there's all kinds of lines that I crossed and I didn't say it like that.

But you said it pretty [00:43:00] perfectly. Yeah. In that way,

Emma: what's that saying? Comparison is the thief of joy. There's no point in comparing ourselves to each other. Yeah. I mean, the three of us we're all probably completely different drinkers, completely different drinking stars, completely different rock bottoms.

But it doesn't mean that any of us needed to address our relationship with alcohol more or less for ourselves. It's not about comparing ourselves to each other. It's about comparing ourselves to ourselves and comparing ourselves with the self. That is awesome. Is loving life is can thrive, thriving,

STATiC: That's why I think a lot of it is the, if you could just find a few things that really do hit the data point for us, it was, and this program I come from, we really learned about that qualification early on and a break into very simple things that are super relatable and all of a sudden you're like, oh, okay.

They call what they call the phenomena of craving. Well, that's that thing. When alcohol touches my system, [00:44:00] I have no ability to stop. I have a great idea. Be like, you know what? I'll be okay tonight. I'm gonna go out. I'm only gonna have one and maybe I'll drink some water and I'll come home. How many times I made that plan, then it hits my system and it's like I don't even who I am, different person and insanity sets in and then everything, every mark I set, every goal I set, every target is out the window.

So I proved for years, once it hits my system, well I never followed what I thought would be a sensible, logical way to deal with that night. And that's a simple thing. And once I know that, and if I trust that process of understanding that, it's oh, well the writing's on the wall. So I don to compare myself to anybody except for anyone relate to anybody that said, yeah, once to touch my system.

I couldn't have stopped too, Hey, once to touched my system. I had a hard time stopping. And you're just oh. And then the other one was, it's not

Emma: just me.

STATiC: Exactly. Yeah. Not terminally unique. It's another term I love. I didn't use, I didn't make that one up. That's the old [00:45:00] schools I like, I personally love adapting some of it.

And again it's, no, it's never to water down where I come from. 'cause you guys wouldn't know me. I wouldn't exist and I wouldn't be able to move, stay here if I didn't continue that path. But that path taught me. And keeps me, it basically, the whole path is designed so I could be available to everyone else on the planet, to other beings and just be adjusted enough.

It's not about just being there. And one of the things is I'm always, I like taking some of the, just the words and making 'em just a little easier for everybody to connect to. Not everybody's gonna connect to a disease of alcoholism. Yeah. And I'm not downplaying it. 'cause there are people who will, I am one of them, but when we say the alcoholic mind, I have an alcoholic mind and you might say, well I'm not an alcoholic but I know I need to be a alcohol free.

I might have been a gray area drinker and I wanna live a better life. I'm like, well then do you have a drink? If a drinking thinker, well what's a drinking thinker? Well, you know that moment where you [00:46:00] maybe said, I think I'm doing okay and you might have decided to drink again. That's my drinking thinker.

That moment where I don't practice restraint of my emotions or pen and tongue and I get snappy with people I love, even though I haven't had a drink in a year. That's my drinker thinker. 'cause that'll lead me to feel shame. Maybe I'll feel regret for acting like that. Then I've lowered my opinion of myself and if I don't love myself anymore, I guess I could drink again.

So that's what I call it. My, that's my mind. That's the mental disease of alcoholism. All my defects, all these things. But the words sometimes I think it's our, I think if we really care and we wanna be people that, and I'm not even saying from the three of our point of view, because we happen to lead meetings and you guys are coaches.

I think as anybody who believes life is better without alcohol. When we're talking to a new friend who saw us drinking water oh, I'm trying to stop drinking too. We should be able to translate [00:47:00] to the person that's listening to us. And that's to me, what they told me to say, you gotta carry the message of this.

It wasn't like, here I am with the book and I'm gonna take you in the car. I'm gonna throw you into this place with these guys that are like 90, not they're sober 45 years. Like they're nice. Trust me, they're really nice people. No, it's to show you that I'm a human too, that I felt that. And be able to convey it so clear for the other person to understand and if they relate, and then if they don't relate and they're actually fine, maybe they just had a bad weekend, life will be fine.

But if you put down alcohol and life doesn't get better immediately, now it gets better. Better. Like you, you're not drinking, your body gets better. But if your life was completely like you had your last drink, never thought about that alcohol ever again, and you're bouncing off the walls, would you look for a place for support?

You probably didn't have a problem. The same kind of experience with overuse. 'cause you wouldn't need support.

There

Kevin: are people who [00:48:00] partied and said, I'm done. And they never think about it. Yeah's fine. That's wild.

STATiC: They exist, right? Yeah. But, and they have. And when they do what they do, and we got us. And I always wanna make sure that the US is anybody who feels like us and hopefully will never be

Kevin: reluctant for language or concepts.

Yeah.

Emma: Yeah. It's funny, I remember a distinct moment of, in the beginning when I was a newbie reframer and I was, I assumed that by giving up alcohol, I would be white knuckling every single day of my life. And essentially my life was going to be miserable for the rest of my life, but for the betterment of everyone else, I needed to do this.

And then I found Reframe and I found the community and even it took me a good few months. I remember having this moment in the bathroom with my husband where I was like full on Tantrumming because my parents were in, in Scotland and they were going on a whiskey tasting tour. [00:49:00] And I was like, I'm never gonna go and I'm never gonna be able to do that massive tantrum.

And he was like, one day you will, babe, you just, you're taking a break for now. And I was like, wow, you don't understand, like just this absolute massive meltdown. And that was when I realized that, or I made the decision in that moment or something clicked in that moment. I am prepared to give the dream whiskey tasting tour up because I'm actually better and it's not just white knuckling and yeah, my life is actually improving.

And that was I think, probably the last grieving moment I had over alcohol of like that emotional attachment to it. I think that was me getting it out severing that tie. I don't know why what you were saying made me think of that, but here we are.

STATiC: It's close. No, it's you're connecting the dots that there's us and then there's not us simple as that.

And I, that's part of the US doesn't always have to look the same or sound the same [00:50:00] or even experience it the same way and identify it the same way. And I respect that and understand that. I remember Kevin early on when, I guess I came to reframe in 2022, probably September was my first meeting.

Which you like last minute it was like, Hey, it's a good time to start if you wanna do the men's meeting tomorrow. It's

Kevin: okay.

STATiC: And there are people on my meeting, on the meetings now that were at that meeting watching me literally just fall into this room with that same script, thinking like, maybe he'll get that script someday.

Now they're probably like, no. He obviously hasn't. And really understanding the environment and, the one thing I did do, and this is not because I don't have love for their, for the journey, was I remember a few months into it there was an abundance of alcohol free people now. And then I learned more about the history, reframe half hour meetings.

There wasn't a lot of alcohol free meetings. So I came at the front end of that. Yeah. I made a joke of like half hour meeting. I'm like, I'm not sure how you get through the opening with me, the way I read. And it was much

Kevin: shorter then I think too

STATiC: probably. I think it [00:51:00] has, it definitely has evolved.

I think I got the first round and I kept, we kept getting the new highlights and the new asterisk every time something new would happen. But it was the idea that I said, I came to you and said, Hey, there's a lot of alcohol free people now they're coming to meetings with me. 'cause we weren't even a lot of us, there's only two or three of us to begin with.

Yeah, there were maybe four at that point. And I don't want to hurt the experience of someone on cutback. Because I even remember in early, we weren't Thrive hiving yet, and we might have been getting together because we're trying to put things together. I'm like, the concept of mindful moderation.

That's what I was saying. There's people that alcohol, I mean, cutback is a really nice way to survey what you're doing in your own life. And some people may think, I don't want to be cutback, I want to be free of alcohol. And then there's people who legitimately found a new way of life with mindful moderation, which we might even throw in the word around conceptually at that moment.

And I said, but I don't want to hurt their experience because I just, as much as that, I know I could [00:52:00] speak and understand, I'm just getting a lot of questions about sobriety and alcohol free life and I'm getting this, there's a lot of people here and I, and that's the only thing I've ever took myself out of.

As much as I believe I can always find a way to connect and relate, I still want the, per the primary most important person in that room is the one who comes there for that legitimate experience to understand their pathway. And I'm not sure the person with, at that point, 11 years of sobriety is always gonna have the best way to make it feel really exciting for a cutback experience.

And I think that's, I don't know. I think that was a great moment. 'cause you gave, you created a Tuesday night alcohol free and we really started to. Hone in on everybody's experience. And then now we watch people come together and they really do come together on all the other meetings like the neurodiverse, whatever other meetings, mix people up once everybody had a place to let themselves be, not just themselves, whatever their experience is.

Which [00:53:00] is another amazing thing how Reframe grew into subcategories for everybody's deeper experience to find a point of relation. So then when you go back into the full meeting, you are actually more whole, and my background, it was this meetings and then men's and women's meetings.

Yeah. And there's a drastic difference. The men's meeting is where you learn to grow up so you know how to behave when you're in a co-ed meeting. 'cause as much as a lot of us and most of the people who choose to talk are probably in better spaces. I didn't, we don't show up here in a winning streak. And sometimes we don't know how to act.

So I love that moment of deep relation and identifying and connecting. And then you feel like, I got what I got it. I got something today. And then you go back with everybody and then you find a way to unite. It doesn't, I don't think it makes people feel more separate. I think it truly makes people feel more together.

'cause you're the first person you gotta heal your relationship with is you. I gotta love me and think I'm together. I'm at least on my own side. [00:54:00] Let's try, let's start there. And then when you're around other people, then you're ready to be on their side. But if you're second guessing yourself, you don't believe in yourself, you don't love yourself, and you're not on your own side, how the heck are you ever gonna be available to be kind and loving towards another?

So reframes done an incredible thing by really lovingly creating spaces, not forcing them, and just letting people be who they are.

Kevin: So I really bel it's I love that part of it. Yeah. Thanks for sharing that in that way. 'cause yeah, and I think you mentioned too the, just the different spaces.

The, I think it's so important to, 'cause for me, when I started, I wasn't ever gonna quit drinking. Not forever. That's a big reason why I never went. Well, dad and I didn't know anybody who went to program. [00:55:00] The, at least I didn't think I knew. I don't think I knew anybody probably did like Batman. Yeah.

But I was always like, well, I'm not gonna give this up forever, so why would I go to that? But being able to find all, just be able to connect and relate with people in whatever way. If it's a book, if it's a podcast, if it's a me meeting somewhere and just where whatever it is, just to get your foot in the door just to look at it, allow yourself, because you mentioned us and not us and correct me if I'm, if I'm thinking of it differently, but it's the, I was I would've said I was a, not us before, but it's me too. It's that spectrum, right? I mean, it's that I was just, I was closer to the one end than I wanted to admit. But just starting with something. And that's, I think the most important thing is just start. If [00:56:00] you're feeling it, if okay, this is not I don't either, like waking up like this every day, I, yeah.

It's just another hangover. This isn't feeling great, that it doesn't have to get to, well, me being like, I'm not that bad. It doesn't have to get to that person's level to be bad enough for me.

STATiC: Yeah. And if it's affecting the quality of your life and those around you and those you care about, those are the other signs.

And the us, not us. And I think I might have spited it out the first time in that phrasing right here tonight, which I'll probably be digging in on this for months now. It already has more layers than just as simple as that. 'cause we're us when we realize, and we're definitely not us. I mean, I was not us.

I was like, I'm fine forever. Yeah. Like I was just like, no, come on. But then the US connects to, we're showing up for ourselves in a group. Self caring, peer support based concepts is how this really works. [00:57:00] And now we're us. And we start owning it by having acceptance and acknowledgement and willing to do what it takes to get to grow.

And some words might not be necessary to say heal, but there's, for some of us, it's a healing process. And you all have probably heard me say many times, people will be like, wow, you've done this for a while. I'm like, meanwhile I'm hanging out with people with 30 something years to this day.

This is the, that's my sober crew. It's I'm the new kid. I'm the I'm the baby of the group. And people look, sometimes they'll be like, well, it's it's like a level it's like a, like I should have all these degrees on my wall. I'm like, you know what this gave me to show up at a starting line with every other person that's impressed me in my life that's trying to do something.

Kind and wholesome, and they are show up for life. People who just show up, they show up for their families, birthday parties, they show up. I didn't show up, so I basically was 40, 50 yard. Back from the starting line. So now my, every day I wake up and I continue this journey. I'm [00:58:00] just allowed to be on the starting line with everybody else.

So that's what the whole us, not us, for me, is once I wake up and say, today's a great day not to drink, I'm gonna keep doing this. Well now I get to be with the every, all the not uss two. It's it's a funny little way to look to have fun with it and say, yeah, and never, I'm never, people are like, you're never above.

This process doesn't work. If I ever think I, I did better. It's heck no. I'm just allowed to try. And everybody who shows up it's funny. We'll hit deep concepts like this on meetings. I'm like, and I'm like, remember if we're talking about this and you heard this on a meeting, we're already at the meeting.

We're in this, we're participating in the thing we're saying to watch out for so many things. I think we all talk about if you're there hearing it well, we're not, we're actually doing something about it. It's like that weird, put your name on the test and get the score. I feel like if I say anything at a reframe meeting, you heard me.

We're actually on the process of moving forward, like we're working on this one. We're talking about the version of us [00:59:00] that might not have been here. Getting to hear this, so.

Emma: Kev, you said something just before about how, like you didn't necessarily know when you first started anyone who was doing the program or working on this sobriety or working the steps or anything like that.

And I don't necessarily know if, I know that many people in real life in the wild that are also alcohol free working. I dunno anyone working a program actually, when I think about it. But I feel like for me, I am so proud of myself for being alcohol free and everything that I've achieved and the absolutely fricking awesome life that I am now leading and how happy I am and I am, I like ham, how good my mental health is.

So I'm I'm very vocal about being alcohol free and being sober and I'm really happy to do it and I almost feel like not an obligation to do it because of my role within Reframe, but just if there are more people out there who are recovering out loud, [01:00:00] then your chances are you are gonna know someone.

And I wonder, so that was a massive long statement to ask you both, do you feel like you want to recover out loud so that one day someone might be like, oh yeah, so my mate Kev, or my mate STATiC is alcohol free. I can reach out to them or I.

Kevin: Are you asking if that wasn't a

Emma: question, Emma?

Kevin: Well, I'm just curious well, because I was thinking when you were talking about that I was try, I was thinking back to right now obviously I'm going to be, someone asked me, yeah, I don't drink I'll alcohol free whatever.

And I have zero cares about it, obviously early on. Lots of cares about it, lots of fears and worries about judgment and all of that. I don't give a shit. But I was thinking back to like, when I started saying a little bit more and sharing about it and it was, little by little, but getting comfortable with [01:01:00] it.

Emma: \ My question is do you feel an obligation, not an obligation, that sounds like a big scary word, but do you feel like you want to be sober, loud and proud to so that other people feel safe

Kevin: yes, I. I would say that is definitely kind of part of my, well, I'll use a maybe a little bit dramatic, but my part of my evolution but in my mind, like how I wanted to show up and that was, me sharing on Instagram and sharing different things and putting it out there and hosting on a thousand hours dry page doing all that.

At a certain point I was, because I saw that it was helping people and because early on when I was sharing on Instagram it was, I was private and then I was public, but anonymous, and then I put my name on there and that was scary. And then I was sick of going back and forth from my [01:02:00] account to my old personal account, so I followed all my family and friends and neighbors on this account and just waited for everybody to wait for the shitty to drop judge Yeah.

Judge me and all that. And it was crickets. Yeah. I followed everybody. They followed me back and no one said a damn word. And I was like, all I was, I went from being worried to be like, cool guys. Yeah, a few, not a big deal. Collect. And collectively, not personally. It was just like nobody said anything.

And I was like. Shocked. But, I get it. What are you gonna say? What do you, 'cause that's so different than, I mean, 'cause a lot of people didn't know what I was doing and it, 'cause that was right before Covid. So I think I did that like in February of 2020 when I followed everybody.

But I noticed when I was sharing on, 'cause my early Instagram was really my like, thoughts journal posts, me sharing struggles [01:03:00] and I would always think about should I share this? And I got to the point where, should I share this? And I'm like, okay, I'm gonna share it. And every time I got like somebody being like, oh, me too, or Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

Or Thanks for sharing this today. I needed this today. That's when I realized not that I was always, not that I was ever about like likes or anything like that on social media from a social media aspect of it. But that's when I was like, that was what I was looking for. And I realized that I wasn't always going to know, like somebody who didn't even like it.

That could have been what they needed to hear today. And so that's when I flipped and said, you know what? Anytime I questioned it, I'm gonna be like, no, you're gonna share this. There's no reason not to.

STATiC: And you were doing this on your own, right? Still. Yeah. So you had an amazing Well, I therapist.

So, but you had a natural instinct for survival mechanism that's, that is necessary for This is community.

Kevin: Yeah. Instagram was my c That makes that sense for

STATiC: you to be like, alright, because [01:04:00] there was no community yet. It wasn't like we could pop into a meeting here at any point. It was 200 something people.

Yeah. Where I was experiencing the in-person. So you built, it's just, it's 'cause it's hitting me too, the community the last few years of like apps and Yeah. Being on a vi video chat using social media to, in the best possible way. This is where the technology's incredible to build a community. And you probably eventually found people right, that are like, I'm doing this too.

And maybe they're in the DMS now just sliding into the sober dms. It's so much safer that way. And they're, and yet you realize they might not be doing it out loud, but now you're connecting.

Kevin: Yeah.

STATiC: It's, you did this authentically and instinctively. 'cause that's what is brought to us. For me, coming from a background, it's all about service in a minute.

You're getting a little, you gotta give it away. Yeah. We have no leadership, no nothing. It's all about this passing. It's passing. It's like a, it's like a fireman's. What's that thing when they do the buckets, they call it the fireman's, there's a word for its carry

Emma: firemans [01:05:00] that let, makes up two

STATiC: things.

But it is like the bucket brigade concept of everybody's passing the bucket to throw the water and. That's part of it. And we, but we have such a culture, which I love, and I still hold to it, like the way the traditions explain, to be attractive and not promoting Well, that doesn't mean you don't talk about it, it's just how you talk about it.

Yeah. It's like you're sitting there, it's like you still go to parties once you feel you're safe. Like I was, I knew I had to go out and mean all the environments again, but what's gonna happen? I'm fine. And I did what I had to do to feel strong in that environment. And I got my club soda, or my Virgil's root beer, or my ginger ale, whatever.

I'm drinking my water and you're just there. And if somebody starts to ask you questions like, wow, you're not drinking, you just give a little information, give a little, and all of a sudden they say yeah, I've been really struggling. I'm trying to, oh really? How's that working for you? Are you doing on your own?

Oh yeah. I go to a therapist. Everything's fine. Great. Well, if you ever wanna talk, I'm here. Or if someone's no, I really go. And then you, I have, we get, we have more [01:06:00] code and realize oh wow, we actually both go to the same hang just in two different cities. And then, so a I built my fellowship network there.

Or if it wasn't, it's just another person on a similar journey. But I'm very out loud too though. It's by nature. It's just who I am. I'm loud. I mean, I was even known for being loud when the guitar was on me. Remember Blue October's actual sound guy, tour manager in 2010, like doing the decibel meter on me in Austin.

He's dude you're hitting. And he was from Australia, so his dude was very different when he said it. Dude actually, was he from New Zealand? When I think about it, say it, Emma, dude. But, and he was just like, you're hitting 110 decibels. Ac dc hits 115. I'm like, so yeah, being loud is not a, I only said that because, I mean, I know Kevin loves the band and it was,

Emma: that just sounds like a challenge to me.

If someone was like, you're hitting 110, I'd be like, well, why aren't I hitting 110 challenge accepted?

STATiC: Well, there's an ordinance. You can't do that in Austin. 'cause the sound goes down the river and then [01:07:00] people complain. But anyway, I digress into, I'm an, I am an upfront person in many ways, and I don't think I was like super, I don't know how I did it.

There were certain things that thankfully for me, were connected to how I was cultured in it. But you share your time once in a while. It's 90 days a year. And then when you shared a year, I, I come from that once you celebrate a year, you really are celebrating for others.

To let them know this works, and then I'm here to help if you need me. So my, usually my posts every year is, if you or somebody else you know is struggling, I'm always here, let me know. And it's because it literally is culture. I mean, there's tons of wording that if I don't give this away, I won't hold onto it.

And there's actually word obligation shows up. You're mentioning obligation, some 1945 literature where if I'm in a public forum and things are being said that are incorrect, I'm [01:08:00] obligated to tell the true story, not of myself of the journey, of somebody that is actually struggling with however word we're gonna use for it.

It's set the record straight. Interesting. Yeah. You're there to set the record straight for if you're around, maybe you're at a town meeting and there's some, like off the wall mayor and even a clergyman. 'cause this stuff's written a thousand years ago and they're speaking mistruths, speak up.

Kevin: Yeah.

About alcohol. Like almost promoting it or saying something like, oh, on the, in a positive or in a,

STATiC: if they're doing it in a negative way where it's either dismissing the legit experience of what the disease of alcoholism or alcohol abuse or at this point, however we want call it alcohol use disorder.

Yeah. Whatever the,

Kevin: whatever you wanna call it.

STATiC: It's set the record straight and tell the story of that there is a solution. People do get help, people do change. Remember this, A lot of stuff was written. Just years after you were locking people up and not you, none of you [01:09:00] were, but they were locking people up and lobotomizing them and sterilizing them and putting 'em in institutions.

So

Emma: absolutely. There was like a little bit of call to arms at that point. Something.

STATiC: Well, do you imagine like just 10 years later now they're finding out that people are getting better and you're out there like you, you are gonna feel obligated to be like, yo, there's another way to do this. We don't have to lock people up.

Yeah. And then all those other things. So I could see how it's, but there is a way it becomes today's way. It's like we do it out loud. We do it in a way that makes it seem welcoming. Never judge, never force. I would never force it on somebody.

Kevin: Yeah. I've been in

STATiC: situations where you could see when someone's friend or person or band mate is just like their calamity to their existence at that point, and they're struggling.

You just don't like walk up to 'em and slap 'em in the head with a pamphlet and be like, yo, you go to the person that you see is most visibly affected. Listen, I don't know what's going on. I'm not here to diagnose or judge, but I have a very long [01:10:00] experience in relationship with living a sober life at this point.

And that other side let me know if this is never working for them and call me and you just, that's it. And that's the out loud, that's not, wearing a sign. The thing is, I'm okay with all versions. The only thing that I'll ever be, that I was taught to be cautious about is what got me sober. We just don't name it.

There's no name for that. Because, and people are like, what does that mean? Is it a secret society? It's no, because what if I just one day say f this and I show up on tv? Especially being a musician that I was on tv.

Kevin: Yeah.

STATiC: Doing a bunch of drugs and alcohol. What did I just reflect poorly on something that's still saving people's lives.

Yeah. So that really helped me understand there's a way to be out loud. I mean, there's an amazing way to be out loud. I think people should know. And that's then now we're in a new world. We're in a world where you could be like, I just don't drink. Yeah. Yeah. And I learned that from my own person.

Kira is a person who said she drank a few times in college. She didn't like it. [01:11:00] She actually says she wishes parties were during the day, they had food. And people didn't just talk bullshit. I'm like, when we first met, I was like, where did you come from? It's

Emma: my kind of party. I love that. Let's meet at 10.

We'll have some snacks, have a little, sit down and have a chat, talk about some people, discuss Harry Potter. Discuss Harry Potter. Let's talk about our houses. How's the quidditch team going? And then go home and be home in time for bed.

Kevin: Some

STATiC: that's hot cross buns and some brings hot bun, hot cross buns and we're all goods.

Yeah. Some good tea. And I was really fascinated she doesn't like drinking, she doesn't drink. And I remember in the beginning when we first met, I was like, I'm like, you don't have to not drink around me. 'cause we, I was years of sobriety. I was working as a bartender sober. So it's it's not like my, I have this thing where it's oh, there's alcohol around me.

It's no, I just don't like it. And then she would be, people would ask her like, well, you're not drinking 'cause, and she's no, I just don't like it. So there's actually a people, and I've talked about this on reframe meetings, like there's people who legitimately just it live this life, who knows?

Life's better without it and they just don't like it. And someone asked me once, well, does that make you feel like, I'm like, that makes me feel really [01:12:00] inspired that somebody could probably do this, not have a problem, take it or leave it. And they still think life is better without it. Those are the out loud people that are some of the people that I'll say only me, I'll never say anyone else that really struggled with this.

Those are our biggest allies or my biggest allies.

Kevin: That's my wife. I mean,

STATiC: she's, she just take it or leave it or just

Kevin: doesn't drink. She just doesn't drink. She would rather have a, I have a, I'm showing a Yeti. You can't hold her there, but there's a Diet Coke in there. She would rather have a Diet Coke and yeah, she, what was the line?

She would always say, whenever I'd be, you sure you don't want anything? 'cause I was always I always never pushing it on her, but I wanted to make sure she, if she wanted something I could get it for or whatever like a get together party, whatever. She's no, why would I just, why would I just drink that something I'm just gonna pee out later.

Like it's a waste of money. That was like, she sounds a lot like Kira's logic,

STATiC: Kira's, even like calories and drinks. She's like, why would I have a hot cocoa if I could just have a piece of cake?

Emma: That is great logic. [01:13:00]

STATiC: You guys would get along really well. Because you've talked about pastries and cake often.

I feel like you have a similar I

Emma: love, yeah. I love me. Yeah, I love me A sweet pea, which you wanna

STATiC: drink hot cocoa. 'cause like I would rather just chew it. Having a brown or cake. I was like, because I still have a liquid consumption issue. Oh my

Kevin: gosh.

STATiC: I just gulp everything I have I mean, even a reframe meetings it's like halfway through the meeting, I'm on a different colored cup.

Yeah. With different liquid to be like, how many drinks do you have in front of you? I'm like, all of it. Three. Yeah.

Kevin: Counting all yourself. Was it on your speaker share drink goblin?

STATiC: Well, I learned that in the neurodivergent meeting. We got our own thing going on there. So apparently there's a lot of A DHD memes about drink gobbling.

Yeah. When you're like running outta the house and you got all your cups and you're like, you've got your waters, your caffeine, your keys, and you've

Emma: got your,

STATiC: there's a whole, I saw one, it's so elaborate where like you're doing it all and you click, oh, I don't have my keys, but I got my three drinks.

So yeah. The drink goblin, I love being a drink goblin, but when they said the words, I was like, oh, this is so good. [01:14:00] Yeah, this is so true. But yeah, I have a gulping problem, so

Emma: I said it. I'm gonna send you, there's this. Chocolate Terry c chocolatier, I don't know how to say that word, but it's like a chocolate shop that, like in chocolate.

The movie with a hot chocolate is like chocolate and milk just warmed up and stirred through anyway. In New Zealand, they make the best hot chocolates and they make these chocolate bombs. So it's like the solid chocolate that you put it straight into hot milk. This will convert carrot into enjoying hot chocolate.

It's so it's like

STATiC: the bath bomb of chocolate?

Emma: Yes. You put it into Yeah. You just drop it in. And they do a main chili one. They do like an orange chocolate one. They do peppermint, they do all sorts. Salt, it's 10, $15 per drink. Like for a hot chocolate it's 10 or $15, but it's money well spent.

So I'll send you some chocolate bums.

STATiC: You guys really have a quality of life thing there.

Kevin: Sure. I think my mom used to do that for, I don't know if she made those or she used to do that [01:15:00] for the grandkids for Christmas, but it was like attached to a spoon and it was around the spoon. There was some kind of chocolate and, covered in some kind of like maybe peppermint or whatever ingredients that would go with that. And then you just dip that in like warm milk or whatever and it melts as you stir it and cool little things there.

STATiC: And you're from Pennsylvania,

Kevin: right?

STATiC: Yeah. So yeah, they do things right out there. Yeah, so it's like Pennsylvania into Ohio, into the Midwest.

There's, when you want things to do with milk and chocolate and cake and it's America's finest for that at that point. You're also right, they got the Amish out there as you're getting the best milk in the world, and least for our, well not best milk for our world in the 48 states.

It's just so natural. Like it's just a really cool thing. Yeah. We always made hot cocoa at home with real chocolate. My mom always made it real chocolate and real milk. Never water. Yeah. She was always like water. Why? [01:16:00] Now she got milk. Like you had do milk, warm the milk, put the chocolate in. But I do with cacao now.

That's some I'm fancy. It's a no tropic. It's good for the brain. Yeah. So

Emma: I mean you

STATiC: Yeah, we could, we should do a whole one on non-alcoholic beverages, just like how much fun you could have, just not just mixing random things together and it's, it works.

Emma: There are so many more things that you can drink in the world when you take alcohol outta the equation and that's something that blows my mind.

There are so many more delicious things to drink when you take alcohol outta the

STATiC: equation. There's so many things you experience. I say once you show up to a place as the previous version of myself, I stopped looking once I got to the bar. Now since I walk past the bar. I see there's other things like another room, there's food, you just, you're open.

So,

Kevin: yeah. Yeah. Awesome. When people. I'm sure I said this too, but when people talk about how oh, I can never go have drinks with this person again. I'm like, you can't. I have drinks with people all the time. Yeah. It's just [01:17:00] non-alcoholic. I'm drinking right now. There's liquid. Yeah. I know that's a simplistic way, but you need that sometimes.

But it's what were you doing when you were drinking with them? You were talking. You weren't sitting there talking. What you about the, I mean, if you're at a wine tasting, sure. You're talking about the actual alcohol, but you're, that was just there. And I get, you know how it works when you go out with, people like that.

But what is the point of what you were doing? You were having a conversation. You were connecting.

STATiC: Yeah. The purpose was, and flip the perspective on every situation. Like, why are you really there? Keep company laugh at my friends and they could drink. I'm not gonna, I'm gonna have some of my own thing.

Kevin: Yeah.

STATiC: It's important thing, I guess is when we get to observe people who don't really revolve around drinking and most people don't. It's an accessory. Yeah. Where us or me at least the drinking was the priority and everything else was the accessory. Like I always referenced my own mother.

Which is crazy 'cause my mom, there's [01:18:00] no, in my own family, there was no alcohol used, overuse or abuse. I found out digging deep, there were some other things lurking around, like gambling addictions that we didn't really talk about. And I found out years later. But the point is, I was never around a big drinking environment.

I joke that my mom has had the same glass every year on hol on Christmas someone would be like, her name is Maria, you want glass wine? She's yeah, sure. Pour me one. And then I would watch her not touch it every year. I would joke, I'm like, tell my sister, why don't we just put Saran wrap over it, freeze it, take it out in the see she

Kevin: notices and we'll just put it there because she's never put something random in it.

That's, whatever. And if she tastes it, she would know, okay, that's not right. And see if she actually, that's says anything wine. But she

STATiC: just, she could take it or leave it. It doesn't matter. Wow. And if that's when you tell that story to people that are like me, I'm like, what is wrong? You crazy what's going on with you?

How could you not touch that? It's oh, I am in the right place. And she's in the right place. She doesn't have to, she doesn't [01:19:00] that she's not drawn to it like that. So we gotta be around, we gotta witness to people who aren't ruled by it, and that'll set us free. That shouldn't make us feel bad. It should remind us that wow, you could live a life without it.

Kevin: Yeah.

Emma: And it's think that's the important part of being, I guess, vocal. Being sober and being open about it is life's fricking awesome without it. And it's not just white knuckling gritting your teeth and bearing it. It's pretty fricking cool.

STATiC: And it becomes, it elevates. I understand there's importance for terms when they say recovering out loud and sober out loud.

What we're actually doing is we're sharing life out loud.

Emma: Yeah.

STATiC: We're pointing to light at beauty. Is there people that you love on in social media that don't talk about addictions or vices that literally just talk about the joy and beauty of life? I mean, most of the literature a lot of us will cite that wasn't direct.

Quit lit is usually written by somebody who's just vibrating at [01:20:00] some place that we all want to get to. So we get to be that we're not stricken to be like, it helps for the others that might need to walk over A world we're really doing is shining a light on life. We are the best version of ourselves, of who we are and every day as a person we haven't met, but it's the real us.

I look at the substance abuse or alcoholism, or whatever you want to call it, as a way to blind and dim and crush who we created obstacles for, who we really are. We're not broken. We're not defective. So the better versions of us we see, that's, to me, that's who we are. That's who we really are. We didn't become a new person.

We allowed the real person to show up because if you get caught up in oh, I'm a new person, and in some ways it feels new, then you feel like, well, then I was, then maybe that was who was the real me, the one when I used, so on a depressed day, it makes you go back and I realize I'm, that's not the real me under the influence of anything.

Kevin: [01:21:00] Yeah.

STATiC: The real me is the one that I'm trying to be allowed to exist without things. I say things because, I've said it many times. It wasn't just alcohol for me, whatever was in front of me.

Kevin: I feel like if we were in a Zoom meeting right now, I'd be searching for the little heart to put up on the zoom. Yeah. The reaction, like the animated ones. Yeah.

STATiC: Yeah. I'm using random ones. I'm using rocket ships and everyone's I'm like, I don't know. We're launching somewhere.

Emma: Oh.

Kevin: How did you do that, Kevin? Mine work. Mine work on this too. What

Emma: is this? You

Kevin: made a heart.

Emma: Such fun. Good. Kevin likes to troll me in meetings and he did this last night in a meeting. I

Kevin: was up at three 30 and this morning before about to go to bed. Oh, her zone. Jumped on meetings. Yeah. Yeah. And I jumped on as iPhone with my camera off.

She's reading the intro script and I'm just sitting there, just sending messages how big are those meetings?

Emma: Got makeup? They're up to 70 odd now, which is pretty, pretty good. It started with 40

but now [01:22:00] there's a good solid group of. It's like a really good, I love it. Like a time capsule friendship. Yeah. Yeah. It's really cool, Kevin.

STATiC: It reminds him back when he started being the probably the only coach and reframe meeting leader. Reframe. Maybe you need that for nostalgia. Like I remember back in the 50 person days when nobody would say anything.

And I remember back in his day when it got

Emma: to zero person, I was like, wow.

Kevin: Yeah, so cool. We started this and it was 'cause we started the meetings and it was like, okay, for those people who are coaching clients, we'll open it up to all the coaching clients. Which weren't that many when, we first rolled that out and we recorded them, but because we were just gonna record the first part where I was going to share a topic and just put that in the app then, and then stop the recording and then have people share. And I might have acted in those like people were there.

Emma: So good to see everyone. No,

Kevin: nobody was ever there. Oh,

Emma: zero. Zero

Kevin: every time. I remember the first time someone showed up, I was like, oh shit, what do I do [01:23:00] now?

Emma: There's one person, fake responses.

STATiC: Yeah. Oh, John, that's really good. I appreciate you bringing that up. And of course we blocked them out. That would break confidentiality. Exactly. I'm just giving my responses.

Kevin: Yeah. And then it was before, and then it was 10, and then it was 20. So when did the meeting start? What year That was 2021.

Like in May of 2021, we started doing that. And then I wanna say probably in September of 21, Kayla was doing the half hour check-ins or chickens? Chickens that fall of 21. I can't remember when exactly she started it. And then we added like the alcohol free Saturday night and the cutback Tuesday night were the first two, like non check-in meetings.

So those are the originals. And then we added the thankful Thursday and the Sunday all reframer. So we just had those four for months and months until I think the summer of 22 [01:24:00] is when we started adding men's and women's and other ones so that the men's

STATiC: was

Kevin: brand new. Yeah. When we started talking, that's when I

Emma: joined Reframe too.

Yeah. Wow.

Kevin: 2022.

Emma: Yeah. Yeah. It, I got, I, my last drink was in May 23, but I was on reframe for about a year of. Cut backing and humming and haring and ups and downs and circling around. Yeah. Yeah.

Kevin: I'm, I feel lucky because if I came in today as a coach and was like, wait, how many people are in these meetings?

I'm, if I was like, where I was back then, I would've been like, no way. No way.

Emma: So many people were like, oh, so how many people are on like friends and family in New Zealand? They're like, oh, cute. You host a little sobriety meeting. How many people are on it? I'm like, ah, it's pretty small. They're like 60 or 70.

And they're like they're what? I'm like, oh. Like it's really small. Like in the big meeting, like the daily chickens, it's two, 300 and they're like, ah, what? They

STATiC: just, you don't see them all, they're not all talking at once. No.

Kevin: Yeah. All talking at once. Yeah. I only see 25 boxes.

[01:25:00] Yeah. Those are all the things that I told myself too. Yeah. Okay. Just talk. I know I'm talking to 200 people or with 200 people. It's not two talking with 200 people and it's,

Emma: how many people do you reckon are on the toilet while we're chatting though?

STATiC: I'm like, my, I have, I'm always near my track pad just in case. I, thankfully, I've never gotten a weird camera moment. One time something was about to get weird and I'm like,

Kevin: Oh. Like I did, it was a that's when I learned I can stop video on Zoom. A couple years ago, early meeting someone shared and then they went in to the bathroom with the phone.

You didn't see anything Morning ablutions, but. It was but you knew

STATiC: it was the bathroom and you're helping them at that point. 'cause they would be mortified. Oh yeah. If they knew. Oh

Emma: yeah. And yeah, when there's a spouse walking in the background that doesn't realize someone's on a meeting 'cause they've got earbuds in and their spouse is not fully dressed.

Camera off. Camera off.

STATiC: Yeah. That almost happened I think once, yeah, we, so in the recovery the more tra [01:26:00] I guess the 12 step recovery world, it was like three, maybe the first three days into the lockdowns because we couldn't go to meetings. Yeah. It was the most functional moment. Of course it would come from a bunch of alcoholics and addicts.

And I get a phone call, my buddy who I imitate a lot in these meetings. He's Hey, they cured it, they fixed it. It's called Zoom. We're gonna go to meetings. And him and I started gonna meetings everywhere and recovery came together. But those early days, oh, I mean there were people, 'cause those meetings, 'cause again, this is a place that lets everybody come.

So now those meetings are posted everywhere.

Kevin: We

STATiC: learned about a whole different kind of addiction apparently, or affliction that they probably need their own meeting. And it was like the Zoom bombers and the Zoom bombing that we got in recovery meetings. You were just like, so we ought to learn real quick.

And you would go to meetings, you'd be like, you've been around for, I've seen you before and you like you, I get 15 co-hosts. 'cause you just had to be like, who's on page five? I'm good. It [01:27:00] like, it just like on. But we're talking about the numbers. This is so funny. 'cause then you get someone like me show up that's I don't care.

I've, I've been fortunate to speak in front of hundreds and maybe, I've played, and I mean, playing is different though. Playing a guitar in front of a bunch of people's. That's, but talking about your truth, that's still daunting. But I do so much public speaking and I'm around people.

I was like, whatever. Lots of people. Because I remember you checking too, like, how's it going? I'm like, I don't know. It seemed like a few hundred people in the chat. And then we were talking about a chat mod concept. I'm like, it would be nice. I'm like, but I just talk across both. And in the beginning, 'cause we, it wasn't as crazy and it was like, how are we doing this?

I'm like, I'm just making, like I'm talking to everybody and it's just, yeah. I could see how it could be a lot. I mean, people come in now and they're showing up. It's Hey, do you wanna host a meeting? It's like with how many people? Yeah. They're not all there at once. I mean, they're there, but they're not all talking to you and they're not Yeah.

They're

Kevin: supporting one another and in the chat and Yeah.

STATiC: Making cake baking. Those are my [01:28:00] favorite. Yeah. Doing their chores. I love people. Body doubling life on

Kevin: reframe.

STATiC: Yeah. I love it. I know everybody's a little different and I appreciate what everybody does. I don't get, my distraction levels are different.

So it's like when I see a whole bunch of cameras on and someone's cooking, someone's, I'm like, you see this? This works. This is

Emma: recovery. Yeah.

STATiC: This is amazing. You're living life.

Emma: Yeah.

STATiC: What more can I want to see? I want to see that. I don't wanna see like just the old TV show version. So I'm like, yeah.

It's I'm so glad smoking was banned when I went to meetings. I hear all the old timers I used to come here early and clean the ashtrays. I'm like, Ugh. Well, I get it, but I'm so glad I'm not, I was, there's no smoking in meetings because it probably was brutal. But yeah, like living your life, enjoying it.

Show us. Have fun.

Kevin: Yeah.

STATiC: Get out on that walk or whatever. Within reason. The walks are incredible, aren't they? When we see all the different skies. Doesn't that make you realize like how a beautiful life is, how big this place is in everybody's and we're experiencing at the [01:29:00] same time, like each sky, depending on where they live, how it looks.

Kevin: Yeah. I had that today in the men's meeting. Beautiful. Got palm trees and blue sky had palm trees. Oh yeah. It's amazing. As I look out in Cleveland weather, it was sunny today actually.

STATiC: I have, I'm very fortunate. I have this really few people, I don't know how they found us. They're like almost in the nor the territories of Canada up by the Rockets.

Kevin: Oh, cool. At

STATiC: the Yukon. That looks like that's unbelievable. I mean, coming from a place that we, we have big sky country, which is gorgeous. No, no shade on Wyoming, Montana in Colorado. But when that camera pops up and they're in the Yukon. I'm like, what planet are you on? Different, it's awesome.

Hopefully we get some people from Iceland soon. I would love to see that.

Emma: Ooh, I have someone from Iceland

STATiC: with their camera on walking around nature, like checking, visiting a volcano. My own volcano. Yeah. Okay. Sharon from the volcano today. Day six. Please be careful. Don't [01:30:00] slip.

Emma: Oh,

STATiC: all right.

All right. This is a weird one. Most people would be grossed out. Lately I've been mixing celery juice. With a, there's a certain latte I like non-sugar. So it's like a, it's like a flavored sparkling that has some pep to it, a little caffeine, maybe some No, tropic and I mixed that with celery juice.

A splash of lime juice and it just works. And the other, my other ones were when I got to try the reframe non-alcoholic beverages, I forgot what we call 'em. I, Liquid Luck. Yeah. I'm just on too many meetings. I never get a chance to really look at the apps. It's my fault. Since I don't like sweet.

I was like, these are great for parties. Because you bring one and I could keep cutting it with seltzer. Yeah. Because I have a consumption. I still have my [01:31:00] consumption issues. I need to gulp. Oh yeah. And I remember when I was tasting them, I was just like, because this is my own thing. A lot of people like sweet.

It was like so quality. I don't know if you guys, which ones you tried? The orange one. So I Kevin, I know you're a little younger than me, but we still remember the eighties and sips right? Sips okay. Sips orange. Drink like juice boxes. I'm maybe, I'm a lot older than you. I'm 48. Could be 49. I'm 40, I'll be 46 this year.

Maybe it wasn't popular in that area, but like juice boxes and the juice box. And they were the most sugar ridden orange drink called sips. I was never allowed to have them. My mom was like, you can't have sugar. You'd be all over the place. So then he would trade and I remember there was a certain flavor of orange drink and it tasted exactly like it, but not dangerous.

So it was all these like nostalgic flavors, but they didn't taste it. Feel like those was orange and ginger. There was one too that tasted like smarties, you know those little circle candies? They're just pure sugar. But it didn't like immediately make you feel like you're having disgusting sugar and [01:32:00] your teeth are gonna fall out.

'cause there's not really a lot of sugar in them. There's just a sweet flavor. I was like, these are like, like bougie, not toxic flavors that remind me of the eighties toxic flavors. So then I cut 'em with a little bit of splash of lime, coconut water and sparkling water. And I'm making my own little, what I had, I was making like little fun mocktail with that.

Kevin: That sounds

STATiC: good.

Kevin: With the calm too. 'cause the calm is the coconut and pineapple. That's my favorite. Ooh, I like that. That's a nice one. Yeah. And that's the one that I like the best too for the I feel, I actually feel calm. Like whenever I use the energy or the focus, I'm like that's not gonna touch my caffeine consumption and my A DHD meds and everything else I got going on that's child's play compared to the the amount of caffeine that I usually intake, which I'm not a proponent, as I wear my coffee, as my higher powder shirt.

I just realized, we all got our things. Yeah. They had some pep, I don't know if I thought they had a little lift and I just dunno. [01:33:00] They kept asking. They were like, well, what did you feel it? I'm like, I'm the wrong person to ask this. It was good. It was fine. I liked it. You didn't

STATiC: send, you didn't send enough.

Kevin: Yeah.

STATiC: You mean this is a tiny can if you wanted me to? No. Yeah. I basically intentionally replaced my midday whatever, which is usually something in a can that has it's really I'm a very no chemical, no sugar. I want, I like the stuff that's, a little bit of the mushroom functional, which is in there.

It's basically that. I just tend to like things that are like the soda water, the club soda thing with a it's like basically a polar or a spin drift type vibe that has some, as I say, lift, functional lift. But those, I replaced them when with what I would normally have. And they did the same thing.

They had the lift and it felt clean and there was no crash. I know it's like a weird thing to talk about, but I think anybody in early alcohol free life, especially if they're not exposed to other options, you go for the gas station cooler and you're dealing with things like Red Bull and Monster, and this is not a judgment.

I've had my share.

Kevin: Well, yeah. [01:34:00] And so, so do I. And that was my that was one of my, we were talking about it and that was one of my lines. I'm like, you're talking about, oh, how can we promote this? I'm like, not, the energy one, I'm like, not your gas station energy drink.

Emma: Not jam packed full of sugar and Yeah.

Kevin: Yeah. Or yeah. And hey, and this is coming from somebody who likes the Swedish smashes it flavored ghost. I almost said gross. Gross ghost.

Emma: I'm gonna try one of those. When I get to America,

Kevin: I have a little bit of a sugar Sweet two fish. Do you like sweet liquids? I like sweet. Like that. Yeah.

STATiC: So then you're actually, I, and the thing is I had a very objective view of not, I like all being sweet liquids and I still thought they were actually really you know what for people who enjoy something sweet, this is actually clean tasting.

Kevin: Yeah.

STATiC: Doesn't feel like chemicals. Yep. To bring it to a party and get it just in my jacket and keep topping off boring seltzer if that's all they have. And then there is a level of that reward enjoyment, which is, being really, you gotta be really objective to everybody's potential experience.[01:35:00]

Kevin: Yeah.

STATiC: Which for me it's always going back to beginning. 'cause I'm not at the beginning, like I said, I work as a bartender. There's so many aspects that I have to really reengage what it was like within one year and going somewhere and not being able to have something to even hold. And it's that reward of a good flavor is awesome.

Yeah, but not feeling that sugar hangover. I had experiences when early on with the monster drinks and now I would just be freaking out. 'cause now we're out late, it's after parties at shows. I'm just like slamming 'em because you think like Monster and Rockstar would always be rolled in concert venues.

It's well this is free and there I'm hanging by this like I used to when I was drinking alcohol. Well this is free. Ah, this is free. And then I wake up in the morning and be like, why do I feel hung over? I had drinking two years. Yeah.

Kevin: Sugar,

STATiC: massive of sugar

Emma: hit.

STATiC: Yeah. Yeah.

Kevin: So we have to be mindful.

STATiC: Yeah. So when things don't do that they're a good option. Yeah. We just want options. We want all the options. When you go someplace, especially in this early ride, even not even the early ride, I still do the, I bring my own stuff.

I have my, I love my sealed containers, cups with [01:36:00] lids. 'cause you never know where you're at. And that, that was taking a perspective. 'cause I used to do cups with lids to sneak other things prior to

Emma: hide the, yeah. Yeah.

STATiC: And then it became cups with lids because I know wherever I am, I have my thing and I'm gonna be fine.

And we never dismissed that. That's always, it's just good mindset. So that was a weird tangent on a flavor, not flavor.

Kevin: Yeah. I'm mix up. I'm gonna have a calm tonight for sure. The calm. Yeah.

STATiC: So they, people are able to get those through, I guess the reframe app, right? Is it like on Amazon or anything? Or is it just in app? I don't know if it's yet, we might as well

Kevin: do

STATiC: the whole it's cool because in the be even in the beginning 'cause things do change, but the idea that it is like exclusive makes you feel like this is part of my hang, this is my hood.

Yeah. This is our brand, our private stock. And and someone can say that's silly to say it that way. It's well, all those things that people romanticize about, like being a, a [01:37:00] whiskey club or something, I'm not, it's well, well we have our own, you gotta take, you can have everything.

Just take the alcohol out. It's one ingredient.

Kevin: Yeah. Yeah, you can search Liquid Luck and reframe. It's on the join reframe app.com website. I do not think we are in sound very

STATiC: official.

Kevin: I know. And I will say that since we're talking about it use Community 20 at checkout for 20% off. Yeah, that's that's,

STATiC: gosh, it's not a podcast until you're pushing something.

Yeah. You gotta

Emma: discount code. At least

STATiC: it's all in home. At least it's all in house. Like at least it's all vetted in house from the same place. Yeah. And it's where people come for

Kevin: this life. And it's definitely learning about the ingredients and all that. I mean, it's all

high end ingredients. and uh, it

STATiC: and it's actually raw cane sugar. So for people that wait, don't actually, I don't wanna misquote that. I'm pretty sure when I read that can, that happened to be a cane sugar without these other, because there's two types of drinks you'll find out there, you'll find the ones with the low number.

Of the sugars, [01:38:00] but then they use something else. And this is not, it's not good or bad, it's just options. 'cause people's bodies react different. It's like the sugar alcohols and that. The sugar alcohols or the you'll see like the monk fruit. I just feel like it's, the choco drinks have like the monk fruit.

Yeah. Now some people have reactions to some of those. I've had, I get really red cheeks from some of the, and they're not technically considered bad for you either. It's just everybody's body's different. And some people benefit if they're gonna have sugar to know it's true raw cane sugar. And that's what it is.

And that's, and you know what you're signing up for you. You got, you have the number, you know where you're at. But some of the other options, sometimes they might be even weirder. Yeah, for some people there's no good or bad when it comes to the ones that are trying to give us a good chance. I mean, I'm not gonna sit here and tell you monster and drink monster's good.

No. Yeah. Is it fun sometimes? Yeah. It's is eating a whole pizza by yourself technically good? No. How many whole pizzas that I eat every Friday night in my early sobriety? [01:39:00] Well, I mean one on each Friday night. But how many weeks?

Kevin: Like

STATiC: now you're like, wait a minute, you're from the place at the big slice.

How many pizzas you eat every Friday? It was one pizza. It was gluten free. It was a bougie place at Fresh Cheese. But every Friday night, that was part of my, I'm not gonna go out, I'm not gonna drink, go to two meetings in a, I'm gonna go home and order that pizza and watch the time it was. Warehouse 13 was big on the sci-fi network and to show Eureka.

Eureka. And that's what I did every Friday night in early sobriety. Real rockstar. Real rockstar life.

All right. All right.

Kevin: We did it. Should

STATiC: We wrap?

And I mean, we also realize that, did we realize that anybody has a meeting that he does anytime soon?

Emma: Kevin did worry that I have to keep you two on track.

Kevin: You're not doing a good job at it. I'm

Emma: doing a shit job.

Okay.

Kevin: All right. Well, we are back. We took a little detour there. Uhhuh and little. We little. Just a little bit. There's a little weaky there. No

STATiC: clock.

There's no clocks behind us, right? No one, [01:40:00] no proof, no timestamp. No.

Emma: The sun's like moving, but yeah.

Kevin: It's dark in New Zealand now. It's started at what? Noon. It's actually Friday or Saturday. That's what happens when

Emma: you put three people with a DHD in a room together and hope for the best.

Kevin: That's exactly what we did.

We hoped for the best. That's how I roll.

STATiC: I think, I think we got it. My new thing now is my topics as we say. What was the topic at the end of the meeting? And then we realize we had a topic every time. Every time we're always together. So the topic was

Kevin: hindsight is 2020. All so let, we will wrap it up now.

With what did we learn this week? This could be What's nugget? Go ahead.

Emma: Me. You want me to go first or my nugget? Yeah. Well, '

Kevin: cause our little nuggets that we learned about this week or in general. It doesn't have to be like just this week, but

Emma: my nugget of the day is the term drink Goblin.

I, this I was. [01:41:00] Just exposed to being a drink goblin. I'd never heard that term before, but I'm currently sitting here with, well, I've only got two drinks actually. But yeah, I am a drink goblin and I love the term and I shall now fully identify as a drink. Goblin. Thank you. STATiC.

STATiC: Now did a drink. Goblins originate beyond the walls of the Goblin city.

Is Jarris there turning us into the goblins in the drink? Goblin,

Emma: isn't that the greatest movie of all time?

STATiC: Absolutely. I could do most of the voices watch it. Maybe if I do a third speaker share in a year, I'll start imitating labyrinths voices. Do it. I need the song. I need the whole thing. Sorry, you remind me of the day, babe.

Magic.

Emma: Yeah. Oh, power of the Voodoo. Who do you do? Do what? Remind me of the do what?

STATiC: Yeah. So good. Anyway,

Emma: alright, let's stop before we go on another tangent. Kevin. Yeah. What's you a nugget of the day or nugget? What's your nugget

Kevin: nuggets? I got, I have a all [01:42:00] you can choose a path. The serious like useful nugget.

Useful nugget that I had, or the one that I learned that I'm gonna annoy my daughter with. This, the one that you,

STATiC: there's like a thorn and a row share. Oh. So I would just go for both. We want both. I mean, people are gonna see this be like, he only told us one. That's not fair.

Kevin: Yeah, true. Alright. So yesterday, I, and this isn't a new thing I learned, but I forget about it all the time, which is funny because I have a timer sitting on my desk that I can easily set for a couple minutes.

Turn it push start. But I was speaking of tangents. I got out of a meeting yesterday. I had a noon meeting. It was like 1145. I'm like, I need to eat. I don't eat then I'm not gonna eat until six. That's just how it works. So I went to go downstairs and then I started getting pulled around, tangents, moving books around, cleaning, different, I'm like, Nope, go downstairs.

Eat. So I went downstairs [01:43:00] and ate. I so gave myself a high five. Came back up, started getting pulled again. I'm like, you know what? Put the damn timer on. That's why you have it on the desk. But setting that, I set the timer. I'm like, it's a little bit 1152. I set the timer for four minutes. I have a shelf underneath my desk with all my books on it, but it's all dusty.

And I had just books everywhere. And I took all the books off the shelf. I had, I even had the pledge and the stuff up here. Cleaned it all off, put the books back, got it all organized. Books were clean, everything. I stood up. I. Five seconds later, the timer went off and everything was done. Amazing. I'm like, why don't I remember to do this all the time?

Because the timer keeps me focused, it gives me a deadline, and I stop when it goes off. So while it's going, it can't be too long though. I think for short bursts like that, three to five minutes, if I set it for 50 minutes, I'm still gonna go off on a tangent. So it has to be something like [01:44:00] that. So that's, use the timer if you're finding yourself procrastinating.

Set a timer for three minutes. Go do something else, clean something, pile, whatever, and then come back when the timer goes off. Get, that object in motion stays in motion. The one I'm gonna annoy my daughter with on vacation in two weeks is yeah, we're gonna be on a cruise. And I was just watching a episode of Bob's Burgers the other day.

We were all down there watching it, and they were going, one girl was going on a cruise and she's I can't wait to meet all the BFOT s and all this stuff. And they were like, what? She's like the B os boys from other towns, BFOT. And I immediately looked over at my daughter and she looked over at me.

I'm like, that's not going anywhere anytime soon. And you're gonna be hearing that a lot in two weeks. So especially when you're friends around, especially if there's a boy around, perhaps if you're, if you are talking to somebody, the BFO T is coming out. It's the little things [01:45:00] to get me through.

Emma: So Good.

Embarrassing you kids is like the best part of being a parent.

Kevin: And I usually don't I mean, I pre-em embarrass her, so I threaten the embarrassment, but she should know that I don't actually do it. Yeah. Don't actually ever do it. Would he do this? I can actually do when other people around it that will have no idea, but she'll know.

So good.

Emma: So good. I love it. All right. STATiC. Do you have a nugget? What's something you learned

Kevin: this week?

Emma: This week I was today years old when I learned, I.

STATiC: Oh, wow. Why am I not engaging in these? And usually I am like every day on my deep. So like part of the, some of the neurodivergent life is the rabbit holes that we find ourselves in constantly. I have at least 50 of them this week, none of 'em are popping up and they're probably useless. Who is the first drummer of what band?

In what decade? Or what actor [01:46:00] played this in his first commercial? How do I not have any nuggets? You know what, here's a nugget. This is one, it's about maybe a week or two now. It came up and it was, and obviously I'll never name the share but somebody's on a lot of my meetings and always so engaged in the meetings and just one of the regulars in that sense.

And they were talking about a book they were reading, and I wish I could quote the book right now and maybe we could figure that out another time. And the concept of we recover ourselves. And I'm sitting here because I've been dancing in this party for a bit. I think I've not, I don't think I've heard them all, but I'm obsessed with perspective flips.

So it's not recovering from, it's recovering ourselves. And I'm like, well, there's a perfect way to hold onto the idea that we could be do in this. Because it is a fun plan. It's a weird plan in words. So you don't recover. Yeah. You're not recovered. It's recovery for some [01:47:00] people and that's a different way of looking at it.

I'm from a place where there is an aspect that's recovered, but then it's you're always in the action of recovery, which gives me a reprieve. I'm like, we're playing on all these words.

Kevin: Yeah.

STATiC: Because we're trying to keep engaged. Recover myself. That was a Wow. That's mind blowing. Yeah.

Yeah. It was awesome. Yeah. And then every time, a few times they would pop up like, you mind throwing that one out there again after like they have their share. What was that again? So I get it. So it was from a certain book and just that mindset. It's a mindset flip. And I think this is all about that we recover ourselves when we decide to engage in a practice that brings ourselves back.

It's so yeah. That's so cool. I guess that's a nugget.

Kevin: Yeah,

Emma: that's a co nugget.

Kevin: Yeah. I've heard people share like they were un I think it was uncovering themselves too. That one I hear

STATiC: uncovering is cool. I've heard that play onwards, but the recover ourselves.

Kevin: Yeah, that's good. And you said something earlier too, not to go off in another uh, quick change, [01:48:00] quick change shirts.

I do have another shirt here. I have that other hoodie

STATiC: somewhere. My face to face hoodie. Yeah.

Kevin: But you said something about life out loud, right? Versus it's not sober out loud. They do life out loud. And I thought that was interesting because I've heard sober out loud. And but recover out loud when you said life out loud or recover out loud.

Yeah. When you said life out loud, I'm like, that's the active thing I thought about atomic habits, where, he talks about like the habits of what's the word? Basically the habits where you aren't doing something. I can't think of the word for it. It's just outta my brain right now.

But when you're not drinking, you're not doing anything. So that's not a habit, right? That's not something that you can, you can't not drink. That's not an active thing. You can probably make an argument for it, whatever, but I wouldn't, recover out loud, sober, out loud.

You can't like. Do something out loud, that's nothing. But you can do life out loud. You can, and that's [01:49:00] the, moving towards something. So yeah, moving

STATiC: life out loud. That's it. 'cause it falls in. I mean, I said it randomly while we were talking about it. 'cause I was thinking about the attractive versus promoting, and then life comes back to us.

I've been around lots of places where, you know, and I related to the, I wasn't afraid to die. I was afraid to live. So then it becomes, well now that I'm doing this, it's like I'm it's this living life out loud. And then I'm thinking about the people we might be inspired by that don't, didn't have any kind of struggle like that, but there's still working hard to be great and do things and

Kevin: action.

Yeah. Yeah. Cool. All right. And just to close the loop on that real quick, it's Habits of Omission popped into head Habits of omission. Hey, thank you Brian. All right. STATiC, if you want to share where people can connect with you, go for it. We'll obviously put this in the show notes as well, but if you wanna just share anything.

STATiC: Where could you find me? It's like, where's my meeting schedule on the meetings?

It's three times on Tuesday, Friday, twice on [01:50:00] Friday. Next Friday at noon. Well, whenever this comes out. So yeah, if you on Friday, I'm going. I do feel certain responsibilities to the life that I have at this point, which, yes, of course I'm a musician and stuff, but I am also on reframe as a meeting leader.

So if you're part of Reframe and somehow have not stumbled into one of my meetings, which is fine I'm on a bunch of meetings. If you're listening to this podcast right now, curious about changing relationship with alcohol, you could find all three of us on Reframe. So, and many more many more wonderful, amazing coaches.

And the thing I think right now that's happening a lot of is the, all the years of mincing sounds while living life out loud and trying to create a meditative and. I guess therapeutic healing response with sound frequencies, which some would say is just music, but there's no such music's [01:51:00] music. It's, but it is a lot of, it's being very intentional now, the way I create them locking into chara tone.

You go to a yoga class, they talk about your heart chakra. Mm-hmm. There's an actual auditory frequency that resonates with that. And as of now, they're just popping. I'm putting up on YouTube once a week. 'cause I, it's not like releasing apparently music that's six minutes. These things are two hours long, so I don't even know where it'll eventually show up.

But YouTube's easy. It goes up, you can listen to it for two hours. And just for that enjoyment and see how it feels. My YouTube, I guess, I guess you could write it, but

Kevin: yeah,

STATiC: it's on, it's STATiC is noise. And since I am out loud on my, I don't have a recovery driven Instagram per se.

It's just me and it's silly, but I don't have I'm there's blurred lines on how I am. Like one minute I'm holding a guitar and meanwhile I'm talking about, I made an alcohol-free new mocktail for myself. By the way I'm very open about my neurodivergence life. And here I'm gonna synth again.

But it's, the thing is, it's a life. This is how I live my life in this service of. [01:52:00] How I build and create relationships, how I treat people. Some people's what is that method you do with those bands? We, they finally, they saw all these young bands I was working with. They're like, they get along so well.

They're working hard together. How'd you learn how to get musicians to communicate like that? I go in recovery,

like the music part we know how to do that. How do you get them to work as a team, respect themselves each other? I learned that Living life without,

Emma: yeah,

STATiC: that blinder. So that didn't even answer a question. Yeah, I might Instagram and YouTube for now. That's where you could find me. Yeah. And they're both

Emma: STATiC is noise on YouTube, Instagram, it was perspective.

STATiC: Yeah. I was opening for my own band and someone said, this is just noise. So I took the power away from it. I said, okay, that's my URL. STATiC

is noise. It is, yeah. Maybe it isn't. Where can I find you guys?

Emma: Here? Here?

STATiC: Yeah. That's what's weird. I appreciate the question, but it's like, when you said it, I'm like, am I actually a guest?

Kevin: It's out there on [01:53:00] uh, it's gonna be on the Interwebs

STATiC: on Innerwebs. Yeah. After all that, maybe your best place just come to reframe to find me. Reframe. It'd be more productive noise. You're

Kevin: STATiC is noise. On YouTube we will put the links in the show notes picture because if

STATiC: you really wanna get, you might go to my Instagram and be like, does this guy make coffee all the time?

How many cats does he actually have named after X Files Characters. I remember,

Kevin: I felt like I used to like, not all the time, but I remember being on, you just turned on your live and it was in your, I dunno if it was your studio. Whatever. And you were just bouncing around to things and you were just, you disappeared.

And I just sitting there working or something and I just had that on and it was just listening. That's a fun, like

Emma: body doubling thingy. Yeah.

Kevin: What's been made?

STATiC: That been a while, but why I stopped it was because you couldn't get good audio through the Instagram. Yeah.

So that's why I decided to build up to YouTube.

If I could build it up to a point where I could go live, which I think only takes a thousand then that I'll do 'em live [01:54:00] because I, it's easier to create 'em when I know people are listening, especially to meditative stuff. But you, Instagram was awful for that kind of audio, so, and me being hyper fixated on audio, it's gotta be good.

Yeah. YouTube is binaural with headphones. You could do a binaural mix on

Kevin: YouTube,

STATiC: not binaural beats. That's its own science. But binaural give you like a little bit of Woo. Yeah. Yeah. We're tangent. This is called tangent.

Kevin: Thank you. Because I was just gonna say, yeah, another tangent. The thought through my brain is whenever Zoom now does like the shifting of the sound, like whenever somebody's hand is raised in the upper left corner of my screen and they lower it and they're still talking and they go over to the right, oh, it shifts on and he loses them.

And I'm like, what just happened? The audio shifts too in you YouTube. The audio shifts on my computer. I mean, I mean, look, you in headphones. Do you work in headphones?

STATiC: Oh, I gotta check that out. 'cause I mean, I'm sitting in front of some serious firepower speakers. When I'm on the, in general, when I'm sitting at this signal spot, it's my studio desk.

So

Kevin: there's, I got [01:55:00] two when people's screens little boxes shift on my screen. It changes where I'm hearing the sound from on Zoom. Wow. I think, I'm sure it's just setting I picked, but yeah.

Emma: So Discombobulating,

Kevin: Yeah, it throws me off.

STATiC: Feel like people are like, what's wrong? Because what all other people see is this.

Yeah. Yeah. Is he okay,

Kevin: squirrel. Uh, speaking of, Speaking of squirrels, thank you for listening to another episode of the Re frameable podcast, brought to you by the Reframe app. Reframe is the number one iOS and Android app to help you cut back or quit drinking alcohol.

It uses neuroscience to reframe your relationship with alcohol and unlock the healthiest happiest you. If you are enjoying the this podcast, please like, subscribe and share with those that you feel may benefit from it. If you have a topic you'd like us to cover on the podcast, send an email to podcast@reframeapp.com and let us know.

I wanna thank you again for listening and be sure to come back again for another episode. [01:56:00] Have a great day.

Emma: Bye friends.