​[00:00:00] 

‍

Kevin: Welcome everyone to episode one of season three of the reframeable podcast, the podcast that brings you people's stories and ideas about how we can work to reframe our relationship, not just with alcohol, but with stress, anxiety, relationships, enjoyment, and so much more because changing our relationship with alcohol is about so much more than changing the contents of our glass.

‍

This podcast is brought to you by the reframe app. Reframe is the number one iOS and Android app to help you cut back or quit drinking alcohol. It uses neuroscience to reframe your relationship with alcohol and unlock the healthiest, happiest you. My name is Kevin Belak. I'm a certified professional recovery coach and the head of coaching at the reframe app.

‍

And this season I'm excited to be joined by my new cohost, Emma Simmons. Emma, welcome. 

‍

Emma: I care. I'm excited to be here. I'm nervous. It's how they say never meet your [00:01:00] heroes, something like that. 

‍

Kevin: What does that even mean? 

‍

Emma: I don't know. I feel I felt honored to be here. I think I listened to the first two seasons of the reframeable podcast.

‍

And it definitely helped me get through the early days and I feel like, I don't know, am I going to break it? 

‍

Kevin: And now definitely not going to do that. You are I believe around what 18 months alcohol free and and a coach here at Reframe as well. 

‍

Emma: Yeah, so I, I guess a little intro to me. I'm clearly not American.

‍

I'm from New Zealand. And I do apologize if people, listeners can't understand my accent. I try my best, but there will be some fun little cultural differences and accent differences along this journey. So yeah, I joined Reframe in October 2022. I started on the cutback track and then in May 23, I switched [00:02:00] to the alcohol free track.

‍

And haven't looked back and just loved Reframe and the app and all of the life changing things that it does so much that I became a certified life coach. I started working with Reframe and and I love it. Yeah, so I'm, yeah, from New Zealand. I'm a wife, mother of two girls. Dog mother. I'm trying to think of something interesting about me.

‍

I don't know. 

‍

Kevin: As I say, wait long enough and you might, we might know that you're the dog mother. It was just barking. So we'll see if we pick that up along the way here. No worries. 

‍

Emma: Yeah, it always cracks me up if you're looking at professional websites and there'll be a professional profile on someone about their accreditations and their qualifications, and then there's usually a fun fact or a tidbit about them.

‍

And with, typically, the men, it's like, On the weekends, you can find me golfing, or you can find me fishing. And with the women's, it's on the weekend, I have three children, and I'm running [00:03:00] around the sports field. And I don't want to be like that. I'm like, there's got to be something that I, something more to me than being a mother and a reframer.

‍

But, I don't know, I can't think of it off the top of my head. 

‍

Kevin: I know, isn't it? I hate those questions. Like icebreaker questions, like in a professional setting or just any kind of setting where tell us a fun fact about yourself. And it's I don't know because I'm, I don't golf. I don't fish.

‍

I'm like, you can find it on the weekends. You can find me right here at this desk or hanging out Going to one of my daughter's games or yeah, just chilling and just relaxing. 

‍

Emma: Yeah, or when people are like, so what are your hobbies? What do you do for fun? Sleep? Is that? 

‍

Kevin: I know read watch the same show over and over again, whether it's The Office or Ted Lasso or you name it, I go through cycles, it's but I remember that question too early on when.

‍

Even when I was a year, when I hit a year, I'll call free. I did an Instagram live. And the question was, it's well, what do you like to do for fun? What are your [00:04:00] hobbies? I'm like like deer and headlights. I'm like, does Instagram count? Cause that's what I was doing back then. Not so much right now.

‍

I need, I'd like to get back into that, but I just haven't been able to. I hate that I'm saying find the time. But I just haven't been able to get back into there, but yeah, it's tough. 

‍

Emma: No. Life be life. And there are things to be done. I don't know. I guess I find hobbies and daily things.

‍

Is walking the dog a hobby? That's fun. I enjoy that. Yeah, 

‍

Kevin: I don't know if it's a hobby, it's an activity, I mean, maybe if you freely walk the dogs in the neighborhood that could be a hobby uh, um, having a five pound dog with a bad knee that doesn't need to walk or even want to walk. So, yeah, I found, I'm just looking here at my like Rubik's cube.

‍

That was a fun Saturday when I was like, you know what? I've never uh, Well, it was earlier that week I saw something, I'm like, you know what? I've never done, completed a Rubik's cube [00:05:00] before. So I bought one on Amazon. It was here like the next day. And I sat there for a few hours watching a video and just learning how to do it.

‍

Now I can, if I'm bored, I can just pick that up and play around with it. And now it's just like a fidget tool anyway. 

‍

Emma: So that's a fun difference about New Zealand, between New Zealand and America. I mean, straight off the bat, we, nothing arrives the next day. Well, it's unlikely to arrive the next day.

‍

Like overnight shipping, same day shipping, not really anything over here. And we don't really have Amazon that ships from either America or Australia. So yeah, that's it. It's a foreign concept to me. 

‍

Kevin: There is a, I can't remember what it was. It was like a month ago it was, I was up here and it was like midnight and I'm like, oh yeah, I order that.

‍

And it said, do you want it tomorrow? I'm like, sure. So I ordered it at like midnight, one o'clock in the morning. I woke up at six or seven [00:06:00] and it was on the front step already Not everything does that, but yeah, it is kind of ridiculous. Although we are recording this right before Christmas time.

‍

And this will be coming out a couple of days after Christmas. So just from the holidays, from that perspective, obviously things have slowed down because there's such volume right now. Anywho. Yeah. 

‍

Emma: Yeah. Happy Christmas coming up. 

‍

Kevin: Yeah. And just 

‍

Emma: being, if you're listening to it, 

‍

Kevin: Yeah, exactly.

‍

2025 happy new year is coming next when this comes out. So, yeah, other than that, how are you doing? 

‍

Emma: Yeah, no, I'm good. I have It's, I mean, it's summer in New Zealand, so that's another fun, fun thing. We have Christmas in summer, so we get up to go and visit family for Christmas, and we're spending Christmas morning at home, opening all the presents and doing the family thing, and then off to spend a few days at the beach with [00:07:00] my family.

‍

And then after that we're going camping in a paddock up north on, by the seaside. And I'm not excited about that. Camping doesn't sound like a holiday to me. It sounds like hard work. But I have had my arm twisted by another reframer who is a friend. I introduced her to Reframe and she somewhat said she was scared she was going to slip and she needed some support.

‍

And asked me to go camping with her and I gave in. Like I'm talking like there is no ablution block. There was no electricity. There's dig a hole in the ground for, 

‍

Kevin: Oh, wow. Yeah. 

‍

Emma: It's yeah. Paddock cows next door. Chickens next door. Yeah, 

‍

Kevin: no, thanks. 

‍

Emma: That's usually my response as well. 

‍

Kevin: And not to her.

‍

It'd be like, why don't you come here? We got running water. [00:08:00] We have a toilet. We have all, food or refrigerator. Yeah. Cause I've gone quote unquote campaign before, but it's more, with a, with my daughter and doing like. A group with a group and, but there's, cabins with like bunk beds and, maybe we had to walk across the road to get to the building with the bathrooms and that, but it was not, we brought our own like grills and we were we were not roughing it.

‍

That much. 

‍

Emma: Yeah, no, we're yeah, we've, the only other time I've been camping is yeah, at a camp campground where there's, we normally get a cabin as well. So you, at least you've got a little bit of electricity and like some shelter if you need and yeah, not too far from the kitchens and the ablution blocks.

‍

So this is going to be a new experience for me and completely alcohol free. 

‍

Kevin: And And when is this again? 

‍

Emma: So we will leave on the 30th of January, so I'll be spending New Year's in a [00:09:00] paddock, 

‍

Kevin: 30th of 

‍

Emma: January, sorry, 30th of December. I said 30th 

‍

Kevin: of January. That's what I thought you meant. Yeah.

‍

Yeah. All right. So stay tuned for the next episode or two. We will recap how this all went down. Ablutions 

‍

Emma: with a long drop and living next to cows with Emma.

‍

Kevin: I want to say awesome just cause that's what I would normally say, but it doesn't not sound like that's the right word here, but okay, I will not be doing that. Be here probably watching football or relaxing over New Year's as well as enjoying 

‍

Emma: your electricity and running water, 

‍

Kevin: coffee and.

‍

Running water and heat and, well, you don't need that in summer, but 

‍

Emma: No, we don't. Yeah. It's a beautiful sunny day, and it's nice and warm, and I'm in shorts, and it's, yeah, Christmas on the beach. It's a whole different thing. 

‍

Kevin: [00:10:00] Yeah. . I'm hoping, I don't know, I'm hoping for snow, but we'll see.

‍

Well, today we're going, speaking of ringing in the new year you're roughing in the new year. We're here today to talk about the dry and damp Januaries. Um, you know, at Reframe here in our app, we have we have monthly challenges that you can do in the app and it's, whether it's a dry January, a damp January, which we'll talk more about here.

‍

You know what these are. There's what was December? I think it was a reflect and recharge challenge where, you know, the beginning of the month was focused on, readings and information on how did this year go? Let's reflect on this year. How do we do, where can we grow and move forward with how everything's gone and then recharge.

‍

Like, how can we rest, do the things that we need to do to take care of ourselves as this year closes [00:11:00] out and looking forward to the next year. Yeah, there's been plenty of, we do different challenges every month, but every January we do the dry January challenge, which is becoming becoming very popular and well known, I would say there's sober October, there's dry July, there's dry January, but dry January is pretty much started this this trend.

‍

And it's just a way to take a break from alcohol, especially after the holiday season, I'll call it. And, when we're coming into the new year and it's a good time to reset and and. Especially after maybe having imbibing a little bit too much over the holiday season. Yeah. What are your thoughts on dry January?

‍

And then we can dive into damp January too. 

‍

Emma: Yeah, I think it's I mean, it's I guess we're kind of coming at it from different perspectives because in New Zealand it's [00:12:00] summer and with summer you've often got your barbecues and there's, I mean, that connotation of alcohol and barbecues go together and drinking and barbecues go together and, like laying on the beach with a beverage and there's all of those kind of connotations.

‍

And it's, it's the new year and let's start the year how you intend to. Finish it kind of vibes or, setting intentions or setting goals for the year. Whereas in America, I don't know, as they're the same kind of connotation with drinking in winter, 

‍

Kevin: I think it depends on,

‍

I mean, I think there's connections with drinking any season. It just depends on the person, but you're right. I mean, the summer and being outside and it might lend itself more towards activities that can revolve around it. But, I'm just thinking to myself. Typically you have obviously all the holiday parties, right?

‍

That go from, you got probably started in America here, Thanksgiving time at the [00:13:00] end of November, all through new years. And whether that's family gatherings, work parties, all those things are going to come into play there. So that's where I think the majority of things things go. But then, for myself, it's, Football season here, American football is whether it's college or professional, for me, that's why that was always a time to get together and watch the playoffs and championship games and all that the Superbowl's in early February now And, so that's, I think that lends itself towards just reasons to get together, even if you don't care about the games or anything like that.

‍

So yeah, I mean, I don't know that it depends on where you're at too, because if I'm in, if you're in the, Southern part of the U S obviously you're not snow and yeah, and all that. So, it's up here. I feel like it's kind of the dark ages once you hit January, February time and not much to [00:14:00] do which can be good or bad.

‍

Not good, depending on maybe like the reasons how alcohol might, you know, from an alcohol standpoint, like how it shows up for you. If, are you a social drinker? Do you drink by yourself at home? For me, are you 

‍

Emma: drinking to socialize? Are you drinking because you're bored? Are you drinking to celebrate?

‍

Yeah. What is it? That's. Yeah, that's causing you to drink. That doesn't sound like the right word, but what is it that's, prompting you to drink? And I think there's so many reasons why people might want to, might be curious about Dry January. And so many reasons why you would want to do it.

‍

I mean, you could be doing it because everyone else is, so why not? You could be doing it because you were, you feel like setting yourself a challenge for the new year and you really want to kickstart your health and wellness with this kind of challenge. It just seems like a Something tricky that you could something tricky that you want to tackle.

‍

But it could be that you have, kind of overdone it over the holiday period, and you're really curious about, or thinking, should I [00:15:00] better give my liver a detox? Or, there are so many reasons why you might want to do it, why you might be curious about it. So, I think, Having a think about what is it that's prompting you to do dry January is a great place to start.

‍

And I think that's probably going to sort of shape the month. And how you go through each day. Is it yeah, are you doing it with buddies? Are you doing it for yourself? Are you going to be vocal about it? So many questions, so many things to think about. 

‍

Kevin: There are, and that's yeah, but that's a great point that you brought up there.

‍

It's like getting down to what is the reason that I'm doing this, or I want to do this. And it could just be for that break. It could be something bigger than that. Okay, maybe I need to. Take a look and see how I feel without alcohol. But recognize that this challenge because we call it a challenge, right?

‍

I mean, it's, it is because [00:16:00] one of the things I'd like to point out is that just because it's a challenge doesn't mean that it will, I always like to say this, that it doesn't stop if we're not perfect with it. That's where revisiting your why that's where, making sure, why am I doing this? Is it to be perfect and not drinking the month?

‍

Then if I. Cause I have a bet with a friend and whoever drinks first loses and loses money like that, that's that's not common that what I hear, but you know, I'm just saying that from the standpoint of, what is that reason, or is it for, more of a health standpoint or just resetting, learning new tools, learning new ways to deal with the stressors and other things in our lives without reaching for, or.

‍

A drink, which can be difficult. Right. And so we're trying to change habits and we're trying to change how we go about things and we have to be mindful of that. That is not going to be easy, right? We're not, [00:17:00] I used to do that with I know before I. 2018, it was like September 30th and I remember listening to some podcasts and they were talking about sober October and I had, it was just in the midst of trying to figure out okay, I need to cut back on drinking.

‍

It was where I was at the time. And I'm like, oh, this is perfect. I'll do this. And I made it, but that's it. I just went into it and be like, I'm going to do sober October. And I said that and I made it four days. I didn't plan to do anything. I didn't do it with, anyone else, or I just said I was going to do it.

‍

And I made it four or five days. I can't remember whatever the Friday was on On that, in that October in 2018, because, I got home from work and that was a busy time at work too. So it's I didn't try and help myself at all with the stress or anything like that. And then Friday night, I was like, all right I need to [00:18:00] unwind here.

‍

And this is what I'm going to use. And then I drank and then I was like, all right, well, There's always next month, this month's over and I just didn't even think about it again. Right. But it's okay, just because I drank that one day doesn't mean that I couldn't have gone back on Saturday and tried to get back into it.

‍

Right. And ask, one thing I always ask people is, with things like that, whenever you're like, okay, I don't want to have this drink or I don't want to drink tonight. And I did When we look back at it, it's like, well, what could I do? What could I have done differently? And there was no, none of that analysis for me back then, but I would ask what could I have done differently in that scenario, what could I have done to help de stress or whatever it was that I needed at the time.

‍

But you know, it's hard to sometimes reflect on that or. Look at that. If we're not in that routine of working on this thing, so, yeah, I think you 

‍

Emma: [00:19:00] break bring up a good point about something that I love about reframe is that it helps you build your toolkit so that you're not going into.

‍

Whether it's a challenge or, everyday life, you're not going into it just being like, right, that's it, no more drinking and and I'm solved because that's, it's, that's so hard if that's how you're going to approach it. So absolutely going in knowing Having a bit of a toolkit behind you of how you're going to do it, so whether it's, little things like when you do have a craving or do feel like drinking, have a think about HALT, I'm a hungry, angry, lonely, tired, which is kind of like the, I don't know, the, it seems to be.

‍

Be the 101 of cravings or like at the starting point of evaluating a craving. So, I feel like having a drink and my hungry angry, lonely, tired, or perhaps it's none of those things, but you know, at least that's the starting point for evaluating it and having a little think about it of I want to have a drink, but is it because everyone else is because I'm out at a [00:20:00] party or a barbecue.

‍

I mean, yeah, something Or,

‍

yeah, just going into it like you did with your sober October and being like, cool, I'm just not going to drink. I think that just, that's setting yourself up for such, so much of a harder journey. And I know that it's a challenge and it's supposed to be hard and it will 

‍

Kevin: be hard.

‍

Emma: Thinking about your. You're sober October, how you went into it without without any tools. And you can absolutely do a challenge like that, but it is setting yourself up to for a really hard challenge. So let's chat about some of the tools and some of the things that you can do to make it more successful.

‍

Yourself up for success. You don't go from, I dunno, you don't enter an Olympic powerlifting team without any training, like you've got to have some tools and some mechanisms for success. 

‍

Kevin: And yeah, before we dive into that too, I wanted to just bring up that.

‍

We have a dry and [00:21:00] damp January challenge. And one of the things that's good about the challenges especially with dry January being more, even more and more popular is that you can use that as an excuse, right? You were just talking about hanging out with friends at a party or barbecue or something like that.

‍

You can use that as a, and people know what it is then Oh, nope, doing dry January. So I'm not drinking today. And people. are more familiar with it, right? So less likely to maybe, it can be a comfort for us to have that thing to throw out and say, and in that situation, a slightly 

‍

Emma: more socially acceptable reason to not be drinking.

‍

Kevin: Exactly, which we shouldn't have to have, right? I mean, it's something that. People are very black and white on, Hey, I am fine. Or no, I have a problem. And I hate when people say talk about people, Oh, do they have a problem? Did you have a problem? I'm like, a lot of people have a problem with how they drink, but.[00:22:00] 

‍

That's not for me to determine that's for them to determine. And it's not for me to judge or anybody else to judge. That's for them to figure out. And it's how I look at it and see because that quote unquote problem that I have or whatever, however you want to look at it again, I don't like to think of it that way, but.

‍

It is, it can be that issue of if I'm drinking one drink and I wake up with a migraine or a hangover because of that, and someone will be like, Oh, you don't need to stop. You're fine. It's but it's a problem for me because I'm waking up, that one drink does this to me. Absolutely.

‍

Even from that perspective. I'm just bringing that, throwing that out as a random example of, we can stop for any reason and it, because it could just be because we don't like the way it makes us feel or is causing us issues or it is. Taking away from certain things. Or you can say, yeah, it's a [00:23:00] problem.

‍

It's up to you. 

‍

Emma: But maybe you're like, I remember at the very start of my journey, I did a lot of, maybe this is how reframe found me because I'm pretty sure I was doing a lot of Googling of do I have a drinking problem? Am I an alcoholic? Asking those really blunt, really black and white questions that there's kind of not a, there's definitely not a black and white answer to.

‍

And it's And so maybe, maybe you're thinking, oh, do I, should I do dry, can I do dry genuine? How hard will it be? Like those are some great kind of things to be curious about. And if, although I think we need to chat about if you are drinking heavily and you do perhaps have a physical dependency on alcohol, then Going cold turkey and doing dry January might be a bit much for you.

‍

And absolutely consider damp January. Just, for safety reasons there can be some pretty nasty side effects of going cold turkey and and that's something To consider as well. 

‍

Kevin: Yeah, and definitely check in with any medical professionals. If [00:24:00] you feel like you're at any risk for those withdrawal symptoms, which, up to and including death, right?

‍

I mean, not to just be blunt. I'll call is one of the only a few of one or two Drugs that, you can die from withdrawal. So, it's not to be taken lightly, especially if It is, if you are feeling physically dependent on it so talk to your doctor, you'll be able to, they can prescribe you things to help you through that, detoxing from alcohol if you decide that, but, and that's also where Damp January can come in if you feel like, okay, I can't do that, but I can I cut back?

‍

Can I work on cutting back and it doesn't even have to be at that level that, you can just say, well, I don't want to stop completely. But I do want to cut back a bit, whether it's because of, Hey, we just finished up the holidays and then in the end of year [00:25:00] stuff, or or just, it's just not showing up the way you want it anymore doing damn January, is a great way to.

‍

Start to look at and address like how it's showing up in your life and looking and asking the question of, well, how do I want it to show up if I do I think that's the other scenario is in my sober October journey back then I could have either. That Saturday I could have said, you know what, I'm getting back to it today.

‍

I'm going to keep going on sober October and we'll see how it goes. And that doesn't mean that I couldn't have slipped and had another drink another time and things like that, but I could keep going with it and keep working on it and trying, or I could have also transitioned to. I guess a damp October to use that and it's the, and there's that would have been better too, then how by October that year ended up, right.

‍

So, reducing it reducing how it shows up, and being intentional with [00:26:00] that is a challenge in and of itself too. So. 

‍

Emma: I think that's such a good point. I, every other time I think that I've done like a sober month challenge, I slip and then it's it's all or nothing, right?

‍

If I have a slip and I have a drink at any point in the month, it's oh, well, I screwed it up. I'll, that's done. Failed. But it doesn't have to be that way it's not, you've made this huge improvement for the days that you didn't drink or the days that you did cut back successfully and that should be celebrated and acknowledged and that's a huge achievement.

‍

It's not like you fail dry January or damp January if you have a drink or if you don't meet your drink targets for that day or week. It's a whole month. It's a whole journey. It's a whole process. It's not, yeah, absolutely not black and white.

‍

Kevin: Yeah it's a it's a data point and you can look at it, right? It's a, okay, well, what happened there? Like, how could I, how can I move forward with that information, [00:27:00] maybe helping me for the next time? And that can get us into the tools that you were mentioning before it's kind of funny.

‍

You were talking about halt cause I was doing some recording for the challenge earlier today. And that was one of the things I was talking about because that is such Tool because what I, I remember talking about it with essentially it's the word itself is great because it puts a pause into the thought process.

‍

And I think the pause is such a powerful tool in and of itself to stop and think about it. And I always equate all to. Yeah, it's hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Those are four big reasons why that, we might have cravings or and the, and mistake those cravings for alcohol cravings instead of, 

‍

I need to eat my blood sugars low, or I need to rest, or I need a break. Or I need to go punch a heavy bag or a pillow because I'm angry or [00:28:00] whatever. But it's asking, essentially what does my body need right now? What do I need right now? I always add in like hunger, thirst, anger, or stress.

‍

Lonely or isolated tired or bored, but really it's, it could be anything. And it's well, what do I need right now? And how can I give myself that without alcohol? 

‍

Emma: Or overstimulated. I think that one's one that's missed. a lot as well. If when you're overstimulated, maybe you're out and about with people, friends, family, or you're at the shopping mall or whatever, and there's just noise and there's sound and there's people and there's too much going on.

‍

And yeah, it's, that's a big kind of trigger for a lot of people to want to just numb that out. Silence that a little bit. Yeah, tone it down. And so then, I mean, the antidote isn't to have a drink, the antidote is to try and get home if you can, or get to a space where you can have that quiet and that peace.

‍

And remove some of that [00:29:00] overstimulation. Yeah, because I think for every craving or or urge to drink there's an antidote. There's a, there's something that's going to stop that. That craving or that moment. You've just got to figure out what it is. 

‍

Kevin: Yeah, and that's the hard part.

‍

Sometimes that's the work, right? That because alcohol is so I'll say it's an effective tool, but it's like it's that I always think of it as it's a hammer and everything looks like a nail, but everything's not a nail. Sometimes I need different tools for different things and I need maybe a little bit more finesse with some things, whereas this just comes in with.

‍

With. And it silences that noise or it, it calms us down. I mean, 

‍

Emma: yeah, a hammer will get a screw in the wall if you really want it to, but it's not really the most effective way of doing it. 

‍

Kevin: Yeah. I like that. The hammer will get a bolt, a screw. It'll do a lot of things, and the thing that remember is we're not going to solve all our problems in [00:30:00] January, or we're not going to solve things in January.

‍

You should catch me every time I say problems that I have in my head. I'm like, stop saying that. Cause it's these just things that have built up over time. Right. I know I used alcohol for, as a coping mechanism, as a way to unwind, as a way to have fun with other people and all that for a long time.

‍

And I, when I started on those challenges before, when I started to make a change, I didn't think about that fact and how, okay, well, it's going to take more than a week or a month to figure this out and to give ourselves that opportunity to do that. And that's where a community can come in to play too, where you are connecting with other people and learning about okay, well, what do other people do?

‍

Like we don't have to recreate the wheel here. What are other people doing? And getting that connection and listening to that, whether it's in, community meetings that we have or on the forum or social media or with friends that you have that you can do the [00:31:00] challenge with and, don't, there's no reason to do it alone and there's no reason to not tap into that knowledge base of others.

‍

Emma: Yeah, that's one of the coolest things about Reframe, I think. I mean, there's so many cool things about Reframe. I'll say that about everything. But I really love that you can put a question out there or put a scenario or some kind of conundrum that you're trying to work through. And you put it out to the meeting or you put it out to the forum and you have hundreds of people from all different walks of life and all different countries and backgrounds and they all will happily give you a nugget of wisdom of like of their thoughts and sometimes I think you don't realize or you don't know what the solution to the problem is because you haven't found it yet and you know throwing it out to a community of people all over the world.

‍

You're so much more likely to find that solution quickly because someone [00:32:00] will be like oh, this is what I did and you'll go, oh yeah. Give that a whirl. 

‍

Kevin: That's pretty cool. Yeah. Give that a whirl and how does it work? Right. I mean, it's the, what is it? N equals one. You are the experiment, right? Because sorry, maybe that's not the right term.

‍

I don't know. Treating yourself, treating myself as an experiment, because I know. But being open to new things, because I know a lot of times, like what, what might work for me, right? I know how I operate. I know how I do things and, running hearing what other people do and saying well, no, that's probably not going to work.

‍

That, that might work, but. Don't shut yourself off to those. Oh no, that's not going to work. Yes, we know how we operate and sometimes we, think we know best we do and we don't is how I look at it. I know what things are going to work better for me maybe, but that doesn't mean that.

‍

I'm an [00:33:00] avid journaler, as people in meetings might know. And I like that a lot. If you were to ask me five or six years ago, Hey, So you're going to, you're going to be leading a journaling meeting on the app and you're going to be talking about it all the time and you're going to be in that annoying person about it.

‍

No, I try not to be somebody please tell me if I am, maybe I am already on this podcast, but uh, You know, I would have thought like, well, that doesn't sound like me at all. That's the last thing I want to do is write stuff down that I'm thinking and feeling I just shove that stuff down and move on.

‍

Right. Isn't that what we're supposed to do? Well, it turns out, no, that's not the best thing to do. And by journaling, like just writing out my thoughts, I was able to get that, those thoughts out of my head and be able to look at certain things just a little bit more clearly because. I paused, I took the time to get curious about how something was showing up in my life and how I can work on changing that [00:34:00] because that's it.

‍

I mean, if we start off on January 1st, don't change anything around us at all. And expect to be successful, you probably won't be right. There's some kind of change that's going to be needed, whether that's, limiting maybe the, where we go out this month or, if we go out to eat or we go out with friends or if we or, if it's thinking of ways to, De stress or just whatever it is that we need.

‍

I think in sober October two my, in my foray into that, and I've done other ones before that I'm just using, I'm picking on this one, a particular one I did I still had plenty of alcohol in the house. So that probably wasn't if I wanted to be successful, it's better to set myself up for success.

‍

Right? And part of that can be removing alcohol from my house if I don't want to drink this month versus trying to I'm tough enough. I can get through it. I can grit through it and it'll be fine. Until it's not, [00:35:00] until it's, you're staring at that every day and it's there and it's kind of just, it's like clutter, right?

‍

It's, you might not notice it as much over time, but you still notice it. It's still there and that can be tough to work through. 

‍

Emma: Yeah. I think that's a such a gold tip for anyone doing. Dry January or even damp January is, yeah, get the alcohol out of your house. It doesn't mean you have to get rid of it.

‍

It doesn't mean you it could be a baller move to tip it down the sink if that feels good for you or motivating for you. But it could be, giving it to a neighbor or someone to look after. It could be putting it in the basement or the attic or, somewhere that's difficult to get to and it's not in eyesight.

‍

Make it just that little bit harder to access is a great tool to help. But it's one of those things that will just help on your journey. It's not gonna, it's not a foolproof method, and I don't think any of these tools are foolproof. But but you know, every little bit will help to make it that little bit easier.

‍

Yeah. And I think journaling, or [00:36:00] at least reflecting whether it's, making a note, an audio note on your phone or writing it down or tapping out a note on your phone, at the end of each day about how the day went. Has gone. How did, what did you have any triggers? How did you feel?

‍

How did you wake up? What was it like when you woke up? How proud are you of getting through the day alcohol free or getting through the day with maintaining your 

‍

Kevin: hitting your target. 

‍

Emma: Hitting your target. Yeah, and just reflect on it because our brains will Listen to that and think about it. And I think and it'd be really interesting to look back at, like day one or like the, cause it's not a straight line upward trajectory.

‍

There's going to be, it's going to be a rollercoaster. You're going to be all over the place, looking back over the month and going, Oh yeah, that's right. It was a really shitty day that day. And but then look at the next day and like I managed to smash it and nailed it the next day because I put these tools in place and that's how I got through.

‍

So [00:37:00] yeah, I think journaling and reflecting and analyzing the data, which sounds so serious. 

‍

Kevin: Yeah. I like to say, get curious about it, right? Whether it's getting curious about a craving and being like, where did that come from? Or, yeah, just getting curious about yeah, what went well. Because a lot of times we, something goes wrong and we're like, Oh, I'm going to learn from this mistake, this whatever we want to call it.

‍

But a lot of times what we learn from the mistake is just what didn't work. Right. And that doesn't necessarily mean that things won't work, just because something doesn't work once doesn't mean it won't work ever. But looking at what went well today is a great way to look at our success, right?

‍

And what, what did work because we want to really emphasize that we want to really push on that button and do that again. And again, doesn't mean that's going to work every time. And because, that, that's the one of the traps that I know I would get [00:38:00] into. So. Focusing on what went well. I just lost my train of thought there. Let's see. Helps us with our successes. I think I think where I was going with that was there's people sometimes think that, Oh, I'm going to stop drinking, I'm going to cut back, I'm going to do these things and my, I'm just going to feel better automatically.

‍

And my life's going to be better. And. It can range, it can be a whole big range of positive things that we expect. And yes, sometimes that happens. Sometimes we feel better right away. Other times we don't maybe we're feeling better for a long time. It doesn't fix the things that we might be struggling with.

‍

Right. It's just removing alcohol. It might make those. Some issues more glaring, right? That the reasons why we might have reached for a drink more it might make those more stressful at the time. And that's where finding those tools, connecting with other people can be so helpful [00:39:00] to work through that because yeah, it's not going to be.

‍

What do people say? Like sunshine and rainbows, unicorns and butterflies, whatever. It's not going to be all of that. Yeah. When, there are obviously positive benefits to this and we can feel that, but that doesn't mean that life doesn't happen too. I know when I started, when I stopped in January of 2019 for a period of time there, as I was at the beginning of my quote unquote journey I was like, how am I going to do get through my work stress with.

‍

Out drinking. That's what I use. So, I had no idea and it was a couple weeks later that I realized it hit me one day that I was like, huh, I'm super busy right now, and I'm working a ton, and I don't feel as stressed as I was before. And it dawned on me that was, alcohol was obviously contributing to the problem I was using it to solve.

‍

Which can be an obvious statement, but for me, I needed [00:40:00] to feel that a little bit and recognize that. And that doesn't, that wasn't the last time I drank or anything like that. But it was just a little piece of information that helped me maybe get through the next craving and be like, no, let me, how can I ride this out?

‍

I can, I ride this wave and get through this in order to just just. Get to tomorrow. Let's play the tape forward to how am I going to feel tomorrow morning if I do what I said, I was going to do tonight. 

‍

Emma: I think you made a good point. I'm going slightly off tangent on circling back to a point you made earlier.

‍

Circling back. I hate that. But like you said, it's not just about removing alcohol. And I think that's like physically a good tip. So it's. Yes, if you're doing dry January, you are physically removing alcohol. So what are you going to drink? Like you can't just go into it and be like, no more alcohol.

‍

So what are you going to drink? Are you going to, are you going to try some of the non alcoholic [00:41:00] options out there? There are some amazing alcohol free, Kev's drinking coffee and water. But there are some amazing alcohol free mocktails, like RTD Mocktails, ready to drink mocktails. There are some great alcohol free beers.

‍

There are great alcohol free wines. You've got a hunt for the good ones, but there are some good ones out there. There are, I mean, are you going to drink? Soda? Do you call them soda? Fizzy? Pop? What do you call it? Like Coca Cola Sprite? 

‍

Kevin: Yeah. Soda. Soda? 

‍

Emma: Okay. 

‍

Kevin: Yeah. I can't remember which part of the country calls it pop.

‍

I remember having this debate in college and it was always yeah, I don't know why everybody cares so much about this, but yeah, soda. 

‍

Emma: We would call it fizzy. It's a can of fizzy. We don't call it fizzy here. But yeah, so are are you gonna I remember on a work trip and at a work function and the only alcohol free options they had this one night was Coca Cola or Sprite.

‍

And I think I woke up the next morning with a sugar hangover because I'd. I've never [00:42:00] drunk so much Coca Cola in my life, but it was the only option that was there. So I'm just making that point of what are you going to drink? There are so many more refreshing things to drink than alcohol, in my opinion.

‍

I love me a soda water with some lime and mint. It's just so refreshing. I mean, I'm heading into summer, going to be on the beach, and it is so refreshing. So good to stay hydrated. But yeah, have a think about what are you going to drink? Get curious about all the things. I remember in the beginning of my journey, my husband was like, Oh my gosh, you're spending more money on all these alcohol free drinks than you ever did on alcohol.

‍

And I was like, shut your mouth because this is that's not the point. I tried all of them. I think I've tried everything that's available in New Zealand. Just cause you don't know unless you try it. And some of them are not for me. Some people. Probably love them, but yeah, what are you going to drink?

‍

Kevin: Yeah, because that's, that's a common question that gets brought up or, topic that gets brought up about like any beers, any wines, things like that mimic the alcohol that we might have drank, some people are [00:43:00] worried about, everybody always goes to the less than 0.

‍

5 percent alcohol. And yes, some of them are 0. 0. Some of them are less than 0. 5 percent that they're required to put on the cans there and things like that. But yeah, you can't get drunk off of a less than 0. 5%. Say NA beer. But it can be triggering to people and want to go get the real thing.

‍

Or my example is the first time I tried them. I was like with a bunch of guys and I brought. Like six for the weekend and, I was drinking them like I was drinking beer and I was through four of them in no time and I kind of was like, Whoa, I don't like this. I'm like, why am I pounding these?

‍

And what happens when I drink the last two? Because, am I going to be like, well, All right. I might as well just, I'm just going to have these this weekend and, it's just those thoughts. And, so going through that and seeing if it's for you is important but they can also be a nice bridge.

‍

They can also be a nice [00:44:00] change up or way to connect. And, I was if I had a Heineken zero at a bar with friends that we were watching a game, I could clink if someone, they dropped us stuff off and cheers, it can make you feel more comfortable, right. Versus my, plastic Pepsi cup that they gave you, and it was just like a thud and, that's a, that's can be a dumb thing to some people, like to think about that, but, you It's just like those little things.

‍

What is important to me? And then, I took my Yeti can holder everywhere and would throw a diet Coke in there or, whatever, just a soda. And nobody could see it and it kept it cold and all that. Or a Yeti like Tumblr that you can put whatever you want in there. Just because, you get less questions.

‍

So maybe if you're worried about that, coming up with different options there can be good. What were you just going to mention? It's 

‍

Emma: gone. I was Oh, going out to events or going out to restaurants or something. I like to it's, I mean, the internet's a blessing so much [00:45:00] that we can, you can usually research the menu of the restaurant that you're going to or the venue, the bar, whatever that you're going to.

‍

And you can look through it and see what alcohol free options they have. They might not have any alcohol free beers or wines or mocktails on the menu, and you might be stuck with a Coca Cola or something. But. Or they could have some great alcohol free options. So I always have in the back of my mind like my top four or and it's like a, it's like a schedule.

‍

No, that's the wrong word. But so option A will be a really yummy, my list. Yeah. Option A is a really yummy mocktail, maybe. Option B would be perhaps a alcohol free beer. beer, but there are some that I know I don't like, so I'm not going to bother paying for something that I don't like. Option C is a soda water with lime and mint.

‍

It will often look like a cocktail or, like a, and it's just refreshing. And option D would be a cola or a fizzy of some kind that is going to be too much [00:46:00] sugar for my, for me, and I probably won't drink 10 of them, but, it's. But then, but none of those options involve alcohol, and so I know, I've already made the decision before I even leave the house, what I'm going to do.

‍

Going to drink or not going to drink. So that, yeah, that's a really great tool. That's worked for me on my journey. 

‍

Kevin: Yeah. You're setting yourself up for success, right? You're planning ahead of time and that can go for anything, whether that's going to a A place like that and looking at what their selections are.

‍

It can be okay what's my day look like today? I have these, all these meetings and I know it's going to be stressful and what's going to, what am I going to do when I get home tonight and how am I going to be feeling and planning for that? Like you just, what, thinking about adding that into your, adding that into your mornings.

‍

I just want to throw this in as a tool, like taking a look at your day. Okay. Going back to the whole getting curious or but it's a visualization, right? Picture yourself real quick, walking through your day. What are you going to come up against [00:47:00] and how can you solve it differently? And that doesn't mean that you're going to do it.

‍

And that's why I always say I have multiple options. Cause if you say I'm guilty of this, I'm a. Excellent planner. And then it's the follow through where I get tripped up. Right. So I would be like, okay, when I get home I'm going to grab a bite real quick to eat, and then I'm going to go for a run or I'm going to go work out or do this.

‍

And then I get home and I'm like, I'm doing that, so coming up with options okay, like you said, A, B, C, D. Okay. I can work out when I get home, but if I don't feel like that, I can veg out on the couch and watch TV, or I can read, or I can do this or this, having a couple of different options in advance of.

‍

Anything really, like whether it's, you're going to be out with other people or just your normal day to day is going to be good [00:48:00] because if we only give ourselves like, okay, this is what I'm going to do. And then we get there and we don't feel like doing that or it isn't an option or they ran out of something or whatever, then what, so just, and the more you do that, the better you become at that.

‍

Emma: Yeah. Our brains particularly early on our brains are going to revert back to what it's used to and what it's used to doing is. We might be drinking. It's, our brains are gonna take the easiest path or the most well trodden track. Is that a saying ? 

‍

Kevin: Yeah. I'm going.

‍

Yeah. I don't, I think I'm getting Robert butchered that I'm getting Robert Frost fabs from that . The well trodden path. Yeah. 

‍

Emma: But yeah, path, the one path, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, your brain's going to default back to what it knows. Pathway 

‍

Kevin: that, yes, exactly. That groove that you've worn time and time again.

‍

Yeah. It's it's where I remember, I can't remember who said it. I think I was listening to something on a podcast and the person had [00:49:00] said that's why working on our behaviors, working on our habits, working on our routines is so important because in, in little by little, just continuing to work on them because under pressure, we revert back to our habits.

‍

So under pressure, if we, it can be easy to slip back into that old routine if we're not working on Improving that in some way and, thinking ahead and doing these types of things. Again, it's not, it doesn't mean you're, it's going to be perfect, but 

‍

Emma: yeah, you're not going to nail it by the end of January.

‍

Kevin: If you do, but not to discourage anybody. It's not yeah. 

‍

Emma: Amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But don't, I mean, I wouldn't I wouldn't want to set that expectation for myself. It's not like everything's going to be fixed by the end of January. There's a lot of work to be done. 

‍

Kevin: But don't use that's where talking about this, it's always difficult because I don't want to I give myself, I [00:50:00] can give myself an out easily in certain situations and scenarios.

‍

I don't want to give someone an out being like, well, Kevin and Emma said this is tough and that I it's hard and it's a process and all that. So I'm just going to have that drink tonight that I didn't plan on or that's above target or whatever. And no, right. It's challenge that challenge yourself and being like, well, let me revisit this tomorrow.

‍

Push it off a bit. Insert that pause, like we talked about before. But yeah it's a fine line, right. Of knowing that this is a difficult thing change. I mean, just changing our habits and behaviors in general, isn't easy. Like I joke in meetings, people talk about day counts and people talk about how long they've been doing something.

‍

And I'm like, I've been working on my habits for 16, 000 days right now. I calculated from when I was born. I'm like, that's how long my habits have been forming. Right. So. Not that it's, not that everything's that deeply ingrained, but just takes time to make some shifts. [00:51:00] So, 

‍

Emma: There'll be some days where you feel like you've nailed it there'll be, and there could be several days in a row where you're like, Yeah, I've got this absolutely nailed it, and then all of a sudden, there'll be a shitter of a day, and you're like, Ah, that didn't go as planned.

‍

And it can definitely throw you off, but I guess that's, like we were saying, it doesn't, it's progress of perfection, right? It doesn't have to be perfect the whole way through for it to be an achievement. 

‍

Kevin: Exactly. And those days that you are killing it and feeling good, keep doing what you're doing, by, by, by doing what you're doing, that's why you're feeling that.

‍

So, cause some people might be like. Kind of start to slip back into old behaviors because oh, okay, I'm good there. But no keep doing that because, I remember the Tom Hanks clip, where he's talking to other people and he's the one thing I wish I would have known, he's this too shall pass.

‍

It's you're doing great. You're doing great. You're on [00:52:00] top of the world. This too shall pass. You're having a shit day. This too shall pass. So it's just, making sure that we know that, yeah those good times, bad times, whatever you want to call them are going to come and go.

‍

And that's okay. It's just like, how do we keep working through them and figuring out the best way that we can do it? We did hop off on a tangent there, didn't we? Oh, I, I know because your list of drinks there, one thing I was going to mention is my Go to his ginger beer ginger beer with lime because, and I like it.

‍

Yes. My face? I'm like, is my face turning red? I wasn't expecting that. Uh, The uh, even though we joke about it all the time, but yeah, the uh, um, yeah. Cause what was somebody? Ginger 

‍

Emma: beer with lime or ginger ale with lime. 

‍

Kevin: Ginger beer with lime. 

‍

Emma: Interesting. See, I'd go ginger ale. 

‍

Kevin: But ginger beer, I like it because it's like that has that spiciness to it.

‍

[00:53:00] Cause it's gingers apparently are spicy. No uh, he uh, uh, can you, do you have the power to mute me? But yeah, it has that spiciness, that bite to it. I like and most places have it. Now, if I didn't like it, obviously, just because most places have, it doesn't mean, that I would want it, but most places have it because most places nowadays have the copper cups for, alcohol mule or something like that.

‍

So that's an easy one that most places have, so yeah, I kind of lucked out there that I like it. And 

‍

Emma: Last summer I drank, I called them donkeys. So it was ginger, half ginger beer, half soda, water, lime, and mint, like muddled in a glass. So donkeys, like a Moscow mule.

‍

Oh, okay. Yeah, and so yeah over Christmas. Yeah, last year I was like, I'm gonna make a donkey. Does anyone want one? And yeah, the family was like, oh, I'll take a donkey. It's so refreshing. I 

‍

Kevin: was at [00:54:00] a place who, what do they call it? Oh, it was a, they had a zero proof menu and They called it the Shooter McGavin from is it Happy Gilmore Adam Sandler.

‍

Yeah, the Shooter McGavin was the the guy but it was ginger beer and an Arnold Palmer. So the lemonade and tea, iced tea And ginger beer and lime. And it was pretty good. But I just, I'm just like, I just kind of laughed cause they called it the shooter McGavin. So, that brought back memories of that movie.

‍

So, I had to try it. I'd like to, I like to Even if it's, I've gotten things in champagne flutes that are really like fruity. And I'm thinking of one, I think it was like zero proof Bellini or something like that, which I would have never drank when I was drinking, but now it's I go for things that taste good.

‍

And so I don't care, if it tastes good so I love to not patronize it sounds I love [00:55:00] to support the zero proof menus and ordering from those whenever I'm out. Yeah, definitely when people have them I try and get something off of there, and obviously, like we said, if you're on.

‍

Don't like it, you're not comfortable with it you don't have to, but more and more people are getting that getting more options into restaurants and bars and things, so. 

‍

Emma: Yeah, 

‍

Kevin: to the extent we're, I 

‍

Emma: think in May 18 months. So far I've only had kind of one mildly awkward experience of ordering off the zero proof menu.

‍

Most of the time, the bartender will just bring you your drink and it's all, the waiter will bring you your drink and it's fine. And it's it's just a drink. Like here's your strawberry, whatever. Cool. Great. There was this one, one bartender that was, he had a tray of drinks and he was like announcing all of the drinks to everyone, like to say, everyone could be like, Oh yeah, this is my drink.

‍

This is my drink. It was at a a conference and he made sure that he really enunciated the Virgin Mojito, the [00:56:00] Virgin one. And I was like, like this could have, yeah, did you have to just really make sure that every, yeah, the whole building knew. But there's, I mean. Of all of the, 18 months worth of socializing and going out, I've had one bad experience.

‍

Well, it's not even bad, it was just like, ugh. It's more annoying. Slightly awkward. Yeah. Yeah. 

‍

Kevin: Yeah. Yeah. I know I'm thinking of all kinds of things to shout out, in response to that, that probably aren't appropriate for, this podcast, like to, to, cause I'm always a smart ass with those types of things.

‍

And yeah, it's, that's annoying. When it's called out like that. Or when you ask oh, do you have anything non alcoholic? And it's we got Shirley Temple and water. Ha. And they make a joke of it. It's yeah, that's not what I'm asking. Yeah.

‍

Emma: And that's, but that's a great point to make is, when you are going alcohol free for a month, there are going to be people that are going to be smart asses. So having some kind of [00:57:00] comeback or, and whether it's a comeback, whether it's a funny comeback or whether it's a look, I'm just doing my challenge.

‍

You do you, let me do me. Or, like you can decide whether you're going to be funny about it. You can decide whether you're going to be really blunt about it. You can, come up with some possible responses. 

‍

Kevin: Yeah. You can decide. You're doing this for yourself, right? . And that's the point.

‍

It's it's not up to them to, I don't wanna be a hypocrite here because I was the biggest per, in my head, struggling with what's this person gonna say? What's that person gonna say? What's this person gonna say? Caring about what everybody said until I like.

‍

Got comfortable enough with myself that I just didn't give a shit what anybody said and just, went with it and. There is that kind of awkwardness sometimes to it, and some people don't care. Others, like me, are going to over analyze things and care too much, or it's not even that I cared, it was just that it was, what can I say to make myself comfortable and make the other person comfortable?[00:58:00] 

‍

That's 

‍

Emma: I think as we get further along our journey, we get a little bit cockier and a little bit more confident with our responses as well. 

‍

Kevin: Well, I think it's, yeah, I think it's we're, at a certain point, we can get comfortable. We're comfortable with what we're doing, and that's, and we're comfortable with what we're doing.

‍

And therefore, I don't have to care if other people aren't comfortable. It's not that I'm being mean or, yeah, you sounded a bit like an asshole. Yeah, but I did, 

‍

Emma: I don't care what other people, how other people feel. Well, no, I'm just, I'm joking, 

‍

Kevin: but you know what I mean? Like it's, I cared way too much what other people thought before.

‍

And it's not that I don't care. It's just, I'm comfortable now being like, Oh no, I don't, I'm not drinking. I don't drink or whatever. And I'm comfortable. Saying that and not worrying about any follow up questions. [00:59:00] Right? 

‍

Emma: Yeah you need to be your number 1 priority. This, this journey with alcohol.

‍

If it does become a journey with alcohol, it could be a 1 month holiday 1 month 

‍

Kevin: research. I mean, it's a challenge. It's it can be anything. And it could, I would say, go ahead. I would say, oh, it's just going to your thought. So it's already gone. 

‍

Emma: No, yeah you're the most important thing to you, right?

‍

You need to be the most important thing to you. So, how you feel and how, whether you are comfortable is what's important when you're doing these kind of things. Yeah. And other people will should, everyone else should be their own number one priority. So that's 

‍

Kevin: sort of what I was going to say.

‍

Sorry for the, sorry for interrupting. 

‍

Emma: The train of thought. 

‍

Kevin: Don't blame my ADHD on that one. I know, whose idea 

‍

Emma: was it to get two ADHD people on [01:00:00] one 

‍

Kevin: podcast? And as I say that I already lost the the second thought I was going to have on that. Yeah. Oh the, yeah, the last thing I was thinking, and if there's anything else, you want to add, but the at the end of it, right.

‍

Now, yeah, you get, you go through the month whether you think it's a success or not or, if you're, and I say, whether you think it is, because, a lot of times it can be progress, right. And progress is successful. Even if it's not the progress that you. Set out to have, or that you wanted.

‍

But ultimately at the end of the month you could be somebody who's just doing this as part of your your mindful moderation, cutback, alcohol free, quit journey, whatever journey, whatever thing that you're doing and it's, this is just another month on that path. Or this could be something new for you and the start of something new.

‍

Or it could just be that [01:01:00] one month thing, but taking what you learned in the month and moving forward with it in some way, what would you change, look back and ask questions. What would I change? If I did this month over again what do I want to change in my life now as a result of, what I learned and what I did and so on.

‍

So kind of making sure that you're inquisitive, no matter how well You feel that you did or didn't do give yourself some grace, look at, look for the progress whether you knocked it out of the park or struggled along, whatever it might've been like, what can I take away from this?

‍

Emma: And I think, coming towards the end of the month or the end of the challenge, don't. I think a mistake that I made a lot was I would be white knuckling until the end of the month and I would just be holding on for dear life and then come, the 1st of February, I was off the wagon again because [01:02:00] I was just white knuckling to get through the 31st.

‍

So I would recommend Or suggest having a, towards the end, like the last week or the last few days of January, start that reflection then of, well, how do I feel? Was this good? Will I continue it? Will I continue being dry? Or will I can, do I feel like I want to go back to being damp? Or, like drinking a little bit?

‍

But don't, Yeah. Get curious a little bit before the end of the month, not like bang 

‍

Kevin: on the 31st. Yeah. And that's definitely if you go through our dry and damn January challenges, that's how, we have it set up and I definitely made sure that we're those last couple of days of the month, it's, it is, the readings and the videos and things are geared towards looking forward and looking at reflecting and.

‍

How am I gonna Move forward. What's what can help [01:03:00] me and keep me on track and so on. Yeah. 

‍

Emma: Yeah. What next? What do you want next? There's so many, so many things. 

‍

Kevin: Yeah. Cause as they say, I think that day 28, this journey is not linear. 

‍

Emma: It's a funnily rollercoaster.

‍

Kevin: Yeah, absolutely. All right. Any thought, any other thoughts that you wanted to throw in there or share? 

‍

Emma: I don't know. I feel like we, we covered all kinds of tangents on dry January and ideas and thoughts and approaches and philosophies and yeah. 

‍

Kevin: Yeah. And if you're listening to this and you're not in the reframe app, feel free to sign up for a free trial and get in on the challenge.

‍

If you're in there. Yeah, we have, our challenges are individual and group, so you can do it by yourself. And just kind of go in and do your daily tasks [01:04:00] for the challenge and then, check those boxes and do what you need to do. Or you can add the group component to it as well, even if you can, even if you don't have other people that, who are doing it, you can do it with the app.

‍

Emma: Doing it in a group is such an awesome way, particularly if you're new, of meeting and connecting with other reframers. I mean, getting onto the meetings and connecting by sharing or in the chat is a great way as well. But yeah, and these challenges, I think some of my my closest reframe friends, I met through doing the challenges because you do form that Kind of tighter connection.

‍

Yeah, the groups are awesome for cheering you on as well. 

‍

Kevin: Yeah. Yeah. And and if you have, if you don't like your group, you can always change next month too. There's always that too, because right. We're not going to always, don't, again, that goes with not writing something off just because it's, it didn't work the one time.

‍

Because I have heard that too, or people maybe don't connect that way, but being open to

‍

Emma: Oh, I was going to say, well, perhaps you have a group that's not super [01:05:00] motivated to do all the challenges and do all the tasks. And yeah, then there are some groups that are like that. And then there are some groups where you have someone who wouldn't nag you six times a day to make sure that you've done your task and both are good and bad.

‍

It depends. 

‍

Kevin: Yeah. But no I do think, regardless of that, I, I don't want to scare people off from groups or anything, because I think that is a huge part of just having that extra accountability. It is so motivating and so helpful to stick with something longer. And that could be from those that could be from, as you mentioned, going to, checking out our community meetings on the app.

‍

We have over 300 meetings via zoom through the app. Each month and you don't have to share in them. You don't have to share in the chat or with your voice. You don't have to turn your camera on. You don't have to put your name on there. You can be, I go in Emma knows. I go in on check out some of the meetings sometimes.

‍

Just say [01:06:00] iPhone. Yeah, it doesn't say a, it just says iPhone. Sometimes I'll throw on random emojis at the end. So people, you might know it's me when I say something if I joke about something, but you know, you can be on the. On there fully 

‍

Emma: incognito and just listen and learn.

‍

Yeah, 

‍

Kevin: that's how I would be. If I was starting today, I would not be sharing. I would not be, I'd be listening, maybe something out in the chat. But that would be my comfort level in the beginning. For sure. 

‍

Emma: Yeah. And it's, and when people do if you do ever eventually get up the courage to share vocally or turn your camera on I Because everyone gets so excited.

‍

It's so cool when people are like, Oh, this is my first year for sure. 

‍

Kevin: Yeah. 

‍

Emma: So exciting. It's the best. 

‍

Kevin: Yeah, absolutely. Because it helps. I mean, just sharing can just getting it out helps asking for support or ideas helps. [01:07:00] But then you're also helping everybody else, on the call. Oh, yeah, I didn't think about that or okay, if this person, is working through that, maybe I'll reach out to them because I'm going through something similar or, whatever.

‍

All right. 

‍

Emma: All righty. I want to close us out with a what did you learn today or this week? Not necessarily about what we've talked about, but you. Personally what's something that you've learned today or this week? 

‍

I didn't prepare you for this at all. 

‍

Kevin: I did see it. I wasn't sure if it was on this in the podcast episode or whatever.

‍

I learned today that I need to. Figure out what my,

‍

not word of the year is I hate resolutions. Everybody has word of the year, which I like. But just thinking about it, but I don't even like it as word of the year. And that's what I talked about today too. At the end of the calls I was put on the spot and I was like, well, what's your thought on that?

‍

And I was like I don't know. I'm like all the [01:08:00] things running through my head are my perfectionistic side telling me that I need to do something. I need to do this. I should do that. So I didn't like, all the things coming on, but yeah, I'm I learned that I need to maybe focus a little bit more on my intentions for.

‍

The coming, I don't like to say year, because 

‍

Emma: a year's a long time, a 

‍

Kevin: year's a long time, stop it with the new year's resolutions. How about the new month resolution? Even if you do it like a quarter at a time, but yeah, that's, I'm anti full year resolutions because it just sets us up for failure.

‍

What are we going a great 

‍

Emma: segue into our next episode. 

‍

Kevin: Do you want to give a little teaser on that? 

‍

Emma: Well, not that I'm prepared for it, but next episode we're going to talk about What are we going to talk about? 

‍

Kevin: I don't know. That's why I was like, do you want to give a segue on that? 

‍

Emma: I can't [01:09:00] remember what we called it.

‍

Like talking about resolutions and and planning for the year. 

‍

Kevin: Yeah. Okay. Resolutions to be something 

‍

Emma: like that. I don't know. I've got 

‍

Kevin: it written down. I did see it. But yeah, that's why I totally put it over to you. I was like, Oh yeah. Tell us a little bit about that. I'm like, cause I forget. New year 

‍

Emma: and making changes.

‍

New year and making changes. There we go. Our next episode. All right, so this week I have learned that If you ask or plan for your teenager to clean the exploded blueberry smoothie off the ceiling, it will stain once it's been left there for a month. So yeah don't expect the teenager Clean the ceiling, get out there and do it for you before it's too late.

‍

Kevin: So I'm going with blender malfunction or okay. I'm like, my first question is like, why is there blueberry [01:10:00] smoothie on the ceiling? That was the only, that was the logical explanation, but you know, in case there was a more fun one. 

‍

Emma: You never know if it wasn't more fun than that. Yeah. Blender explosion. It went everywhere, but the ceiling was just too hard to clean.

‍

So it's been sitting there for a month, and I finally got up and cleaned it yesterday. And it has stained our ceiling. So, yay!

‍

Nothing a coat of paint won't fix. 

‍

Kevin: Yeah. A coat of paint or, it just adds more character to the it's not going to get a coat of paint anytime soon. Yeah. That's what I was thinking. If it happened here, it'd be like, it's not that bad. Yeah, let's just splash blueberry smoothie across the whole ceiling.

‍

Like paint splatter. Yeah. All right, everyone. Thank you for, yeah. What do we say at the beginning of this? What do we think of 30, 40 minutes? 

‍

Emma: Yeah, we'll chat for like maybe 30 minutes. See how we go. 

‍

Kevin: Yeah. Famous last words. So thank you everybody for hanging out with us today. [01:11:00] Definitely check out the dry and damp January challenges in the app.

‍

And. Reach out for support in those in those ways that we had just mentioned. If you have a topic you'd like us to cover on the podcast, send an email to podcast at reframe app. com, or if you're on the reframe app, feel free to. When you're in the app, give the, give your phone a shake and let us know that way.

‍

But that's it for the reframeable podcast this week. Thank you all for listening to this week's episode brought to you by the reframe app reframe is the number one iOS and Android app to help you cut back or quit drinking alcohol. It uses neuroscience to reframe your relationship with alcohol and unlock the healthiest, happiest you.

‍

If you're enjoying this podcast, please like subscribe and share with those you feel may benefit from it. And I want to thank you again for listening and be sure to come back next week for another episode. Have a great day. Bye, [01:12:00] friends!