What Is Emotional Intelligence and Why Is It Important?

We’ve all heard of AI  (hello, bots!) and ET (“phone home”), but what in the world is EI? A cross between the two? As it turns out, EI is much closer to home —  it stands for Emotional Intelligence and is an integral part of our personality and neurological makeup.

Emotional Intelligence, often called EI or EQ (Emotional Quotient), refers to our ability to recognize, understand, manage, and regulate our own emotions and to understand the emotions of others. It guides our interactions, decisions, and reactions.

Here’s a snapshot of how it works. Picture you’re at a gathering, and suddenly someone begins discussing a recent setback they experienced. While most people sympathetically nod, you not only sense the person's distress but also know how to respond in a way that comforts them genuinely. No, you're not a mind reader — you’ve honed your emotional intelligence!

How does EI work at the physical level, and why does it play a pivotal role, especially when you're on a journey to quit or cut back on alcohol? Let’s find out!

Tracing Back Time: The History of Emotional Intelligence

The concept of emotional intelligence might seem modern, but its roots trace back further than you might think. Let’s journey through time to understand how the notion of emotional intelligence evolved and became the influential concept it is today.

• Ancient musings. Long before the term "emotional intelligence" was coined, philosophers and thinkers were toying with the idea. The ancient Greeks emphasized "know thyself" as a cornerstone of wisdom. Philosophers like Plato noted that emotion and reason were two crucial horses pulling our chariot of self. 
• Enlightened EI. The interplay between emotion and cognition has remained a crucial point of discussion in philosophical circles. The Enlightenment, the period spanning the late 17th to 18th centuries, was characterized by an emphasis on reason, science, and individual rights. During this era, philosophers like John Locke and Immanuel Kant proposed that our understanding of the world is deeply shaped by our experiences and emotions. They argued that emotion and reason are not opposites but intertwined facets of human cognition. Their ideas hinted at the importance of balancing emotion with reason — a core tenet of emotional intelligence.
• EI and Romanticism. The Romantic era that followed the Enlightenment put a spotlight on individual emotion, imagination, and expression. Thinkers such as Jean-Jacques Rousseau and poets such as William Wordsworth celebrated humans’ emotional depth and intuition. They believed that our emotions could guide us to truths that reason alone couldn’t uncover. This celebration of emotional insight and the introspective exploration of feelings became another foundational building block to the understanding and value of emotional intelligence.
• EI in the early 20th century. Fast forward to the 20th century, and the wheels started turning faster. In the 1930s and 1940s, psychologists Edward Thorndike and David Wechsler began to explore the idea of social intelligence, suggesting that forms of intelligence beyond the purely intellectual might impact our success and happiness. 
• Modern EI. The foundation for modern EI was laid in the 1980s by psychologist Howard Gardner, who introduced the idea of multiple intelligences, which included both interpersonal and intrapersonal intelligences. These are pretty close relatives of what we now know as emotional intelligence.
• The term takes shape. The term "emotional intelligence" itself was first introduced by Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer in 1990. They described it as "the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions." Their theory of EI has 4 cornerstones:

1. Perceiving emotion (decoding emotions in faces, pictures, and other representations) 
2. Facilitating thought with emotion (integrating emotional information in our thought process) 
3. Understanding emotions (decoding emotional information)
4. Managing emotions (using emotional regulation skills)

• The boom of emotional intelligence. In 1995, the world's view of EI was forever changed when psychologist and writer Daniel Goleman published his book, Emotional Intelligence. Goleman introduced the academic work of Salovey and Mayer to the masses. His argument? EI might be just as, if not more, important than IQ in determining life success. The book became an international bestseller, and the interest in emotional intelligence surged.
• Beyond the 2000s. Post-Goleman, research in emotional intelligence exploded. Its application spanned across sectors — from business to education to health. Schools began to introduce emotional intelligence programs, and corporations started to value EI in leaders and employees.

The journey of emotional intelligence, from ancient philosophy to cutting-edge neuroscience, underscores its enduring importance. As we continue to explore and understand EI, it's clear that it's not just a fleeting trend — it’s a foundational aspect of human nature and potential.

The 5 Domains of Emotional Intelligence

EI is a multifaceted concept that goes beyond just being "good with emotions." It encompasses several domains that help us navigate our internal emotional world and our interactions with others. Here’s a more detailed breakdown of the 5 main components of EI; understanding them can transform how we perceive the world, make decisions, and interact with others.

1: Self-Awareness 

The cornerstone of EI, self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand our own emotions in real-time. It’s about being tuned in to how we feel, which then influences how we act. For instance, understanding that we’re feeling anxious before a public speech can allow us to take measures to calm down or prepare more.

At its core, self-awareness means understanding our emotions, strengths, challenges, and behaviors. It’s like being the attentive driver of our emotional vehicle, knowing when to accelerate with confidence and when to slow down and reflect. 

Here are the benefits of self-awareness:

• Better decision making. When we’re in tune with our feelings and motivations, we’re better positioned to make choices that align with our values and goals.
• Enhanced relationships. Understanding our emotional responses allows for clearer communication with others, fostering deeper, more genuine connections.
• Personal growth. Recognizing areas where we shine and where we could improve provides a roadmap for personal development.

2: Self-Regulation 

Recognizing emotions is important — but it's equally crucial to manage them. Self-regulation involves controlling or redirecting disruptive emotions and adapting to changing circumstances. This means not letting temporary setbacks throw us off course and maintaining our composure during a disagreement.

Self-regulation equips us to navigate life's ups and downs with grace and resilience. By mastering this skill, we not only improve our personal lives but also contribute positively to our communities and society at large.

Self-regulation provides so many benefits:

• Better stress management. Self-regulation helps us recognize stressors and employ coping strategies rather than getting overwhelmed.
• Emotional well-being. Self-regulation reduces the occurrence of negative emotions like anger, frustration, and anxiety, promoting overall emotional well-being.
• Boosted self-confidence. Successfully navigating challenging situations through self-regulation can increase our confidence in our abilities.
• Fewer negative impulses. People with good self-regulation skills are less likely to engage in harmful behaviors such as excessive drinking, overeating, or lashing out in anger.
• Enhanced learning. In educational settings, self-regulation helps students stay focused, manage their time efficiently, and work towards academic success.
• Adaptability. Those with strong self-regulation skills are better equipped to adapt to changes and unexpected challenges, increasing their resilience in the face of adversity.

3: Motivation

Folks with a high degree of EI are often self-motivated. They're driven by a passion for what they do, rather than by external factors such as money or status. This intrinsic motivation pushes them to achieve their goals, even in the face of adversity.

In the broader landscape of emotional intelligence, motivation fuels achievement and growth. It works with other components of EI, such as self-awareness and self-regulation, to create a holistic approach to understanding and navigating our own emotions and those of others.

Here’s why motivation can be a game changer:

• Goal achievement. At its core, motivation propels us to set, pursue, and achieve our goals, regardless of obstacles. This determination and drive can lead to higher success rates in personal and professional endeavors.
• Positive attitude and resilience. Motivated people maintain a generally positive outlook, focusing on opportunities rather than problems. Their intrinsic drive helps them bounce back from failures or disappointments more quickly. This positive attitude can be contagious, uplifting the morale of teams or groups they're part of.
• Proactive approach. Motivated folks often take initiative. They don't wait for opportunities; they create them. This proactive stance can lead to innovation and forward-thinking strategies.
• Greater job satisfaction. In professional settings, intrinsically motivated people often find greater satisfaction in their roles, leading to higher retention rates and better overall job performance.

4: Empathy 

Empathy is all about recognizing and understanding others’ feelings. This aspect of EI allows us to tune into the emotional undercurrents in a group or one-on-one interaction and respond with understanding.

Embracing empathy brings the world’s beauty and challenges into clear focus. By cultivating empathy, we’re not only enhancing our personal connections but also contributing to a kinder, more understanding planet. 

Here’s why empathy matters:

• Strengthens relationships. Truly understanding our friends’, family members’, and colleagues’ feelings fosters trust and strengthens bonds.
• Fosters personal growth. Engaging empathetically allows us to experience a broader range of emotions and perspectives, enriching our emotional intelligence.
• Promotes a kind world. Empathetic actions have a ripple effect. Our acts of understanding can inspire others, fostering a more compassionate community.

5: Social Skills

Keeping our emotions in check is only part of the puzzle. The ability to interact well with others, maintain friendships, manage conflicts, communicate effectively, and work as part of a team are all crucial components of emotional intelligence.

Effective communication is at the heart of social skills. Communication is more than just words strung together — it's the bridge between thoughts, feelings, and understanding. To walk through life effectively, we need to master the art of conveying not just what’s on our mind, but also what's in our heart. Here’s why it’s important:

• Clear understanding. Proper communication ensures that our message is understood as we intended, minimizing misinterpretations and confusion.
• Strengthened relationships. Open and honest dialogue fosters trust and intimacy, solidifying bonds with those around us.
• Personal empowerment. Being able to express ourselves confidently and clearly empowers us in both personal and professional settings.

Another aspect of social skills viewed through the lens of emotional intelligence has to do with feedback. We often need an external perspective to shine light on areas that might be obscure to us. 

Here’s how seeking feedback enhances our social skills:

• Illuminating blind spots. We all have certain aspects of our personalities or behaviors that aren't immediately obvious to us. Feedback can illuminate these areas, offering insights we might have missed.
• Continuous improvement. Life is a journey of growth. Feedback gives us opportunities to evolve, to better ourselves, and to enhance our relationships.
• Building trust. Inviting feedback demonstrates vulnerability and trust. It shows others that their perspective is valued, fostering deeper, more genuine relationships.

The Neuroscience of Emotional Intelligence

​​Our brains are complex structures, and understanding how they function can shed light on why emotional intelligence is so integral to our well-being. Let's unpack the science and discover what happens in our brains when we exercise our emotional intelligence.

At the heart of our emotions lies the limbic system, a set of structures in the brain that function as our emotional hub. Here's a quick rundown:

• Amygdala. Think of it as the alarm system of our brain. It's responsible for detecting emotional stimuli and determining whether they're a threat. An overactive amygdala can make us react rashly to emotional triggers.
• Hippocampus. Essential for storing memories, it plays a role in associating past experiences with emotions. For instance, it helps us remember the happiness of a past birthday party or the sadness of a difficult breakup.

While the limbic system deals with emotions, the prefrontal cortex is responsible for decision-making, reasoning, and regulating emotions. It helps us think before we act. When our emotional intelligence is in play, this area helps us regulate and manage the impulses from the limbic system, ensuring we respond appropriately.

Several neurotransmitters and hormones also play a role in emotional intelligence:

• Serotonin. Often dubbed the "feel-good" neurotransmitter, it plays a vital role in mood regulation. Stable serotonin levels contribute to feelings of well-being and happiness.
• Oxytocin. The "bonding hormone" gets released during positive social interactions and physical touch. It fosters trust, bonding, and social connection — all integral to emotional intelligence.
• Cortisol. Known as the "stress hormone," an excess of cortisol hampers emotional regulation. EI practices can help maintain balanced cortisol levels, reducing feelings of stress and anxiety.

Neuroplasticity: The Ever-Adapting Brain

The neuroscience behind emotional intelligence is empowering. By understanding our brain's workings, we gain insight into how and why certain practices benefit us and how we can harness our brain's potential to enhance emotional intelligence.

Our brains are not rigid — they can change, adapt, and reorganize themselves. This phenomenon is called neuroplasticity. By consistently practicing emotional intelligence skills, we strengthen the neural pathways responsible for emotional regulation, awareness, and understanding. Over time, our brains become better wired for EI, much as a musician’s brain becomes better wired for music with consistent practice.

Here are some ways to harness the power of neuroplasticity:

1. Mindful meditation. Science shows that mindfulness practices strengthen the prefrontal cortex, the region of the brain responsible for emotional regulation and self-awareness. Setting aside a few minutes daily for mindful meditation promotes a heightened awareness of emotions and a more thoughtful response to emotional triggers.
2. Regular feedback. Seek feedback about your emotional responses and behaviors from trusted friends, family, or colleagues. This consistent feedback can help you become more self-aware and retrain your brain to approach situations differently.
3. Emotion journaling. Taking time each day to jot down your feelings can help you track patterns in your emotional responses. Over time, recognizing these patterns can allow you to preemptively manage and navigate emotional triggers and traps more effectively.
4. Active listening. Engage in active listening by fully concentrating and responding to what's being said. This practice has been scientifically shown to engage additional areas in the brain. In addition to enhancing your empathy and social skills, it strengthens neural pathways associated with understanding others' emotions.
5. Challenging yourself. Put yourself in situations where you have to navigate complex emotions or use empathy and social skills. The more you expose yourself to such scenarios, the more you strengthen the brain's EI-related pathways.
6. Practicing empathy. Deliberately try to see things from another's perspective. This can be done in daily conversations — or even by reading literature and watching movies! The repeated act of stepping into someone else's shoes strengthens the neural connections related to empathy.
7. Consistent learning. The field of emotional intelligence is vast and evolving. Learn more about it! Reading books, attending workshops, or taking online courses keeps your brain active and adaptable when it comes to EI.

Emotional Intelligence and Alcohol 

For people reducing their alcohol intake, emotional intelligence can be a lifesaver. Why? Alcohol often acts as a crutch to deal with stress, anxiety, sadness, or other emotions. With the help of EI, we can better navigate these emotional hurdles, reducing the urge to reach for that drink. 

Here’s how EI fits into the alcohol journey:

• Recognizing triggers. Understanding and recognizing our emotional triggers can prevent relapses and help us become more aware of which emotions or situations make us crave a drink.
• Emotional management. Having the tools to manage our emotions means we don't need to suppress or numb them with alcohol. Instead, we can process them in healthy ways.
• Improved relationships. With better emotional understanding, relationships can become more harmonious. And stronger social connections can serve as a robust support system during our alcohol reduction journey.

The EI Journey

Emotional intelligence is like a muscle: the more you exercise it, the stronger it becomes. And when you’re trying to change your relationship with alcohol, EI can be a secret weapon, guiding you through emotional challenges and enhancing your well-being. 

Beyond individual growth, EI holds the potential to transform our relationships, workplaces, and communities. It is the key to understanding not just ourselves, but also the emotions and needs of those around us. In a world where challenges and conflicts are ever-present, EI offers a beacon of hope — a tool to build bridges of understanding, foster collaboration, and drive meaningful change.