What Do You Fear Will Happen If You Stop Drinking?

Have you ever thought about quitting alcohol, only to feel a wave of fear and anxiety wash over you? Maybe it’s the idea of being bombarded by questions about why you’re not drinking or wondering how you’ll relax after a long day of work without your usual go-to brewski. You’re not alone. When it comes to making a big change like quitting alcohol, it’s natural to feel apprehensive.

But here’s the thing: those sobriety fears don’t have to hold us back. Recognizing them helps us address them and allows us to open the door to a healthier, more authentic sober life. Let’s take a look at some common fears and break them down so we can overcome them.

Why Do You Have a Fear of Quitting Alcohol?

Quitting alcohol isn’t just about willpower. Alcohol can become deeply intertwined with our brain chemistry and emotional responses, making it difficult to quit, even if we want to.

• Emotional. Alcohol slows down messaging in our brain, which can temporarily numb difficult emotions and stress. This can cause our brain to link alcohol with relaxation and stress relief. When we’re taking away this false sense of security, our brain can start to panic. 
• Psychological. Alcohol affects neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin, which are chemical messengers that play a key role in our mood regulation and pleasure. When we drink, these chemicals are artificially boosted, giving us a fleeting sense of happiness and relaxation. Our brain gets used to this “high” feeling, and when our brain adjusts to natural levels of pleasure and happiness, we can experience challenging emotions that can feel daunting.
• Physical. Our body also develops a tolerance to alcohol and gets used to being exposed to certain levels of it. The absence of alcohol when we quit can lead to alcohol withdrawal while our body adjusts, which includes physical symptoms that are not only unpleasant but potentially dangerous.

It’s natural to feel fear in the face of change, and the same is true for alcohol. When alcohol becomes something familiar, it’s natural to feel fear when we take that familiarity away.

Common Fears When Quitting Alcohol

Quitting alcohol can be full of uncertainties, and it's completely normal to feel apprehensive about the changes ahead. Here are some common fears we might encounter:

1. Alcohol Withdrawal

Alcohol withdrawal refers to the physical and psychological side effects of quitting alcohol. Symptoms can include minor ones such as headaches and irritability or more serious ones such as seizures and hallucinations. 

It’s normal to fear alcohol withdrawal symptoms because they’re unpleasant. I mean, who wants to experience nausea, sweating, or intense anxiety? However, alcohol withdrawal is also a sign that our body is healing and adjusting to not being exposed to something harmful and toxic on a regular basis. 

When we commit to quitting alcohol, concerns about alcohol withdrawal are completely normal. However, there are plenty of resources that are there to help. Relaxation techniques, red light therapy, and other self-care practices can help us feel more comfortable during withdrawal, and supported detox can ensure our safety and address any complications.

2. Social Disconnection

Another common fear is being socially disconnected now that we’re no longer drinking. This fear is also natural as alcohol has made its way into many of our social interactions. However, alcohol actually gives us a false sense of connection, and there are plenty of ways to connect more authentically without the consequences of drinking. 

Since alcohol lowers our inhibitions, we might feel more talkative or open to meeting new people. However, alcohol also impacts our judgment and heightens our emotions, which can lead to social tension, awkward encounters, and misunderstandings.

There’s also something about having a shared experience with others. Drinking might give us that sense of connection, but so can engaging in meaningful activities, such as joining a club, volunteering, or spending quality time with loved ones.

3. Difficult Emotions

As we touched on briefly, alcohol can numb difficult emotions temporarily. That is why drinking is commonly misused to self-medicate. It provides an escape and distraction for a short period of time. But it also makes things worse afterwards. 

As a depressant, alcohol can make difficult emotions even more challenging by lowering our mood, impairing our stress response, and boosting anxiety. Stopping drinking removes the false security blanket that alcohol provides, making these difficult emotions we’ve been avoiding seem even harder to face.

4. Loss of Identity

Alcohol can also snake its way into our identity since drinking is a common part of our social culture. Maybe we’ve been labeled “the fun friend” or the “life of the party” when we drink. This identity might make quitting alcohol seem like we’re losing part of ourselves.

However, the identity that alcohol gives us is fleeting and not a part of who we actually are. Let’s break this down. One common misconception is that alcohol is associated with fun. But what we often don’t see is the unpleasant aftermath that comes with it. And what about the fun we had as kids during a sleepover? Although sometimes society can paint the picture that alcohol equals fun, it leaves out key points. 

Something else to consider is that alcohol is categorized as a mind-altering drug. In essence, it changes the way we think and act. So even though we might feel like our “drunk self” is part of our identity, it’s not truly who we are. When we recognize that, it’s easier to let it go.

5. Failure or Relapse

Fear of failure or relapse can also hold us back. Why start something if we don’t believe we can achieve it? But the truth is, many of us end up achieving things we thought we couldn’t. Oftentimes, our brain is smarter than we give it credit for. 

Relapse is a common occurrence and doesn’t mean we’ve “failed” at quitting alcohol. It can happen to the best of us, and the important thing to do is dust ourselves off and keep going without judgment! For more information on relapse and relapse prevention, check out “Creating a Robust Relapse Prevention Plan: Essential Strategies for Handling Alcohol Relapse” and “Defining Relapse: A Rehearsal for Success.”

6. Change

We touched briefly on change earlier. Fearing change is our brain’s natural response to keeping us safe. Our brain loves consistency, and it leans towards familiarity.

Let’s say you’re drinking every day. Your brain becomes familiar with the pattern, and you might not know what to expect when you stop drinking alcohol. You might be scared of how your brain and body will react, or what challenging emotions may come up without the crutch alcohol provides.

But while we may fear or resist change, the brain is actually good at it! Just like our brain adapted to functioning with alcohol, it can adapt to functioning without it. This is known as neuroplasticity. Basically, our brain is able to change in response to new experiences. In this case, when we develop positive coping mechanisms and other healthy habits, our brain can stop relying on alcohol.

Recognizing these fears is the first step in addressing them. But how can we overcome these fears to navigate the path to sobriety with confidence?

How To Overcome Fear of Sobriety

Quitting alcohol can be overwhelming, but facing it head-on can turn our fears into catalysts for change. Here are tips for taking charge and building our path to a fulfilling sober life:

• Recognize emotions. Identifying and naming our fears is the first step to overcoming them. If we don’t recognize them, we can’t address them. 
• Make small, manageable goals. Developing achievable goals can make something that seems impossible feel more manageable. Follow the SMART framework and explore Reframe coaching for additional support with setting individualized goals. 
• Focus on progress, not perfection. Fear of failure can sometimes hold us back. Tracking our progress and celebrating our wins can build our confidence to stay on our journey to sobriety. 
• Develop a support system. There’s a reason why sports teams have cheerleaders. Having a support system can motivate us when things get tough and be that reminder we need to keep going. 
• Turn fear into motivation. As an unknown person once said, “You grow through what you go through.” It can be scary taking that step into something unfamiliar, but that step can be a turning point in developing a healthier, more fulfilling life. Try reframing the fear of sobriety as an opportunity to show-off your authentic self, and make a list of all the things you want to accomplish without alcohol in the picture.

With the right strategies and support, we can transform our fears into stepping stones toward a successful and sober future.

Facing the Unknown

The fear of quitting alcohol is real, but it's often based on misconceptions of what our life will look like without alcohol. While it’s normal to feel anxious about alcohol withdrawal, social disconnection, or losing a part of our identity, these fears don’t define our journey ahead. In reality, sobriety opens the door to a healthier, more authentic self. By facing our fears head-on, we can step into a future filled with possibility and growth!