How To Survive Sober October Social Events: Tips and Tricks

October is here, and this year it’s going to be different. You’re drinking seltzer (without the vodka) at happy hour. And you won’t be one of the tipsy Teletubbies stumbling through the street after a boozy Halloween bash. The reason? You signed up for the Sober October challenge. The first few days were a piece of cake. You’re already sleeping better, your skin is glowing, and your credit card balance is lower without the weekly trip to the liquor store to stock up for the weekend. Just in time for the holiday season!

But then, as that weekend draws closer, doubts start creeping in. What are you going to order when everyone is having a round of beers at the bar? And what about Halloween? Are you really going to skip all the Halloweek festivities? Eager as you are to “go sober for October,” you realize you need a bit of help. And that’s what we’re here for!

A Bit About the Sober October Challenge

What’s Sober October all about? As the name suggests, it’s all about spending the month of October without booze. It’s the “fall flavor” of alcohol-free challenges such as Dry January and Dry July.

However, there’s also a humanitarian twist to it. The challenge began as a fundraiser for Macmillan Cancer Support, a U.K.-based charity. Its Australian counterpart, originally dubbed Ocsober (nope, it’s not a typo), raises money for Life Education Australia.

In the U.S., Sober October gathered steam in the past couple of years after podcaster Joe Rogan jumped on the bandwagon. And whatever you might think of Joe Rogan, the challenge is certainly worth a try, given the many benefits of cutting back on booze. (To learn more, check out “The Benefits of Doing a Sober October Challenge.”)

Alcohol: Social Glue or Sticky Mess?

Before we talk strategy, let’s dispel a few myths about alcohol and socializing.

Alcohol is often seen as the “social glue” that draws people together, gets the conversation going, and allows us to let loose and relax. The reality is, more often than not, this “glue” just creates a sticky mess. Here’s why:

• It temporarily boosts dopamine but leads to a crash soon after. The temporary boost in this pleasure-inducing neurotransmitter is largely responsible for the illusion that alcohol makes us more social. But while we might feel chatty for the first 20 minutes or so, the effect quickly fades, often giving rise to rebound depression and anxiety. It’s all a neurochemical illusion — not a cure-all for social anxiety.
• It kicks the prefrontal cortex out of the driver’s seat. Without our decision-making center in charge, our inhibitions are lowered — and not in a good way. We’re more likely to say and do things we otherwise wouldn’t, thinking we’re being “fun” and maybe trying to get a laugh or two. However, chances are the jokes won’t seem as funny in the morning (if we even remember them). Worse still, we might wake up with regrets about the way we acted and have to jump into damage control mode — not a great social strategy in the long term.
• It acts as a depressant that dulls our senses. By dulling our senses and slowing down our reactions and reflexes, alcohol does, indeed, put a temporary lid on social anxiety. But it also dampens all the other sensations, including the authentic joy of meaningful interactions.
• It inhibits our memory. Are those “great conversations” and “adventures” really worth it if we don’t even remember them in the morning? In the end, authentic friendships are built on memories — and booze robs us of them.
• It creates a vicious cycle. The more we drink to soothe social anxiety, the more likely we are to keep turning to booze as a “solution” to our anxiety. Eventually our brain gets used to the cycle, and soon the appeal of booze to help us socialize becomes a habit.

It’s clear that alcohol isn’t really the social elixir it claims to be. That said, it’s sometimes easier said than done to change a long-standing habit. Science to the rescue! Let’s look at some neuroscience-backed ways to make Sober October not only doable, but exciting, meaningful, and fun.

Go Sober for October (and Have Fun While You’re at It!)

From shifting our thinking about booze to stocking our toolbox with practical tricks to coast through cravings, there’s plenty we can do to keep our October as “sober” as we want it to be. 

1. Reframe Your Mindset

First things first: we have to start out in the right mindset. We can draw on cognitive behavioral therapy for some useful ways to reframe any cognitive distortions we might have about booze. Here are some common ones, along with ways to kick them to the curb:

• “I need alcohol to be social.” It may seem that way based on past experiences but probably wasn’t always the case. Just think of the times when you had fun without booze — even if you have to think way back to those summer nights roasting s’mores on a camping trip with your middle school friends. No booze, loads of fun.
• “Other people will judge me if I don’t drink.” While we may feel self-conscious, chances are, others are more likely to have something else on their mind. We often think that others analyze our behavior way more than they actually do. And even if someone does give you the side-eye, you don’t have to internalize it. Most people who care about how much someone drinks are uneasy about their own drinking habits. 

Tip: There are ways we can avoid unpleasant confrontations in a pinch. One is to ask the bartender to pour you shots of water instead of vodka or give you plain tonic water instead of a gin and tonic. Another is to tell people you’re the designated driver (even if you’re not). And if none of these work, it may be worth considering finding a new group of friends.
• “I’ll be bored.” Sure, that’s a possibility — but it’s also possible that you’ll have more fun than you think. Instead of “fortune-telling” (a common thought distortion in CBT), think of going to a social event while sober as an experiment. While booze might appear to spice things up at the beginning, it often leaves us groggy and wiped out. Chances are, without a drink we’ll stay in “social mode” longer!
• “I’ll feel left out.” Wanting to fit in is natural, and FOMO (fear of missing out) is a real thing. But are you really “left out” when you let go of the very obstacle that gets in the way of forming true connections — when you can enjoy the event with all your senses intact? After all, sober socializing is the secret to feeling more included in the fun without the barrier of booze dulling the experience. Plus, with a non-alcoholic option in hand, you’ll still be part of the fun!

Now that we’ve got our mindset tuned to a more optimistic cognitive station, it’s time to get practical. Let’s get ready for the party! 

2. Practice for the Party 

Parties are normally not something we practice for. After all, it’s all about letting loose and going with the flow, right?

Not quite. If we’re used to drinking at social events, deciding to let the chips land where they may and hoping for the best could potentially get us in trouble. Instead, we can recruit a trusted friend to practice triggering scenarios through role-play. It’s all about assertive communication: science says it activates the prefrontal cortex and helps us keep our cool in tricky situations. Besides, telling someone else about our plans will help keep us accountable!

Here are some potential responses to try out if someone offers you a drink or asks why there’s no vodka in your vodka tonic:

• “No thanks, I'm on a health kick this month.” 
• “I'm trying out some new mocktail recipes tonight.”
• “I’m giving my liver a vacation this month. It’s been working overtime all year!”

And, of course, you can always tell them the real reason: “I’m doing Sober October and loving every minute of it.” After all, it’s something to be proud of! 

For more tips, check out “Drinking With Friends: How To Avoid Peer Pressure When You Cut Back” and “Strategies and Tips for Navigating Social Events Without Alcohol: Changing Social Habits.”

3. Master Mocktails

Just because we’re not planning to drink alcohol doesn’t mean we can’t have fun with drinks. Mocktails are more popular than ever, and this October it’s time to take our mocktail game up a notch. Here are a few ideas:

• Explore mocktails. If you know where you’re going, check the menu ahead of time to see if the bar or restaurant has mocktails on the menu. Who knows, you may just find a new favorite!
• Bring your own beverage. Bringing your own drinks to a party can ensure you’ll have booze-free options. These days there are plenty of booze-free drinks at just about any store (even the liquor store — though you might want to steer clear if that’s going to be a trigger).
• Master mixology. Practice making mocktails before you go and, if you want, bring the ingredients with you and set up a mocktail-making station at the party or event.
• Lean into the season. We’re well into the fall, and with the holidays approaching, it could be fun to spice things up a bit. Apple cider, cinnamon, cardamom, and ginger are just a few of the many ingredients that channel the cozy fall spirit.

Need some inspiration? Check out our “Guide to the Best Healthy Mocktails.”

4. Master Mindfulness

What else starts with an “m” and is gaining traction faster than ever in wellness communities and beyond? Mindfulness. Science shows that the benefits of this simple practice of being in the moment and observing it without judgment has a host of benefits including better sleep, less stress, an increase in brain power, and lower cravings. Here’s how to make it work for you:

• Get a mindfulness practice going. Yes, you can always google “five-minute stress relief meditation” and step out of the party to ride out a craving, but it’s best to get in the habit of practicing mindfulness ahead of time. There are many options to choose from, including sitting meditation, visualization, sound healing, and diaphragmatic breathing. Pick whichever gets you “in the zone” and go for it! (Take a look at “Mindfulness Meditation Practices to Reduce the Urge to Drink” for some ideas.)
• Meditate before you go. Try a visualization exercise before you head out to the party. Simply close your eyes and picture yourself having a blast at the event without booze. Imagine the scene in as much detail as possible — taste that ginger mocktail, belt out “Dancing Queen” at the karaoke bar without “liquid courage,” chat with that friend you haven’t seen for months and remember every detail.
• Set “mindful minute” reminders. Set some strategic notifications on your phone or watch throughout the day to remind yourself to step back and take five minutes to observe your thoughts. These mindfulness breaks will help keep your practice going while providing stress relief and boosting your productivity. By the time you get to the party or event, you’ll be used to being mindful and can take the good energy with you. 
• Focus on your senses at the event. If you find yourself obsessing over booze, switch gears and focus on your senses. What sounds can you hear around you? What about smells? What are the physical sensations in your body? Shifting your focus in this way can provide a much-needed pause to reset your intentions. Also, try some deep breathing or EFT tapping to get into the moment and feel instant relief.

And remember, you can make mindfulness part of your life beyond Sober October. To see how it helps reduce or quit drinking in the long term, check out “How Can Meditation Help Me Overcome Alcohol Misuse?”

5. Practice Active Listening

One way to keep our mind away from booze and on the event is active listening — being fully present in our interactions with the other guests. In addition to thinking less about what’s in our glass, we’re likely to leave the party more “socially satisfied”: science says that active listening strengthens social bonds, making interactions more rewarding. We can practice it by making a conscious effort to listen, maintaining eye contact, nodding, and asking follow-up questions. 

You can also turn it into a game! In This Naked Mind, Annie Grace writes: “Asking questions, listening and learning, these things make you a more interesting person. You become the type of person others want to be around.” She suggests asking questions to learn 10 facts about each person you talk to at a social event. Here’s what this simple game can do:

• You might be the life of the party. Or, at the very least, people will find talking to you delightful — people love talking about their lives, and showing true interest gets us major bonus points.
• It’ll keep you busy. No time to think about booze — you’ve got information to gather!
• You might make a new friend or two. Asking questions to learn 10 facts is bound to keep the conversation going long enough that it goes past generic small talk and turns into a more meaningful interaction.
• The “game” aspect triggers the reward system. Science says that “gamifying” the situation is a natural way to get a hit of dopamine each time you “win” and move on to the next level. 

And if learning 10 facts seems like biting off more than you can chew (or the music is too loud), no problem. Just focus on learning (and remembering!) as many names as possible. It’s harder than it seems, which also makes it more fun. And people love it when someone remembers their name!

6. Be a Proactive Party Planner

Instead of worrying about what to do at a party where alcohol flows freely, why not partake in activities of your own with the “no booze” rule built in from the get-go? Here are some fun fall-themed ideas:

• Go for a hike. October is all about costume changes (and we don’t just mean Halloween)! This season is when nature stages some of the most dramatic transformations, as the foliage turns all shades of red, yellow, burgundy, and gold — perfect time for a hike! An extra perk? Exercise reduces stress and helps us coast through cravings, while being in nature adds an extra layer of relaxation and well-being.
• Have a sober costume party. Who says we have to wait until the end of the month to dress up? Have a pre-Halloween party and “pregame” with mocktails instead of booze. For example, make “Prohibition era” the theme and dress up in flapper dresses and cloche hats.
• Visit “haunted” sites. Every city, town, and village has its own share of lore, and October is the perfect time to explore it. Indulge in the “dark side” of your area and take some friends along with you so things don’t get too spooky!


Whatever you end up doing, the important thing is to have fun with it! Even if you decide to stay home and watch a scary movie, you’ll still be enjoying the benefits of a booze-free month.

7. Focus on Gratitude

With Thanksgiving coming up next month, the fall season is all about being grateful. Science says gratitude can change the brain, boost dopamine levels naturally, and help us dismiss the urge to drink. 

This October, harness the power of gratitude to coast through cravings by keeping a daily gratitude journal. The items don’t have to be big or dramatic: anything from seeing a rabbit on your lawn, biting into fruit that’s in season again, or planting an herb garden on your windowsill counts.

And when a craving hits, you can use gratitude as an urge-surfing tool that’s backed by science! Just make a mental list of 10 things you’re grateful for — by the time you’re done, chances are it will have lost some of its punch. (Check out “10 Benefits of a Daily Gratitude Practice” for a deep dive.)

8. Have an Exit Strategy

Let’s be realistic — sometimes no matter how well we rehearse beforehand and how great our mocktail recipes are, it’s just not happening. The host is on her fifth margarita, the “name game” isn’t helping, and the music is too loud to listen to anyone (let alone listen actively). In other words, the party’s a bust and you want to leave — now.

That’s perfectly okay! You just need an exit strategy. Whether it’s another sober friend, an Uber, or a bus ride, it’s important to know how to get home, especially if you end up leaving by yourself.

The strategy extends to the time you get home. It’s a good idea to have a fun evening ritual or activity to take your mind off our less-than-pleasant evening. That could mean saving the last episode of Love Is Blind to watch on the sofa, a sound healing meditation to listen to, or a cup of calming chamomile tea to brew. Whatever it is, have it ready to go so you can get right into “relaxation mode” as soon as you’re home.

9. Keep Your “Why” in Mind

Having a well-defined, powerful reason is key when making any type of change. The same is true about the Sober October challenge! Keeping your motivation at the forefront activates the brain’s reward system, making it easier to stay focused on your goals.

Define your “why” from the get-go. Are you looking forward to better sleep, a sharper memory, more time to spend with family, extra cash to shop for the holidays, or a way to kick-start your weight loss journey? Whatever it is, write it down and keep it visible. When you find yourself questioning if there’s more to Sober October than a catchy name that rhymes, your “why” can act as the compass that will get you back on track.

Need some inspiration? Check out “10 Compelling Reasons Not To Drink Alcohol.”

10. Join Reframe’s Sober October Challenge

Last but not least, join the Sober October Challenge with other Reframers! Our thriving global community is all about shifting our relationship with alcohol through the power of neuroscience. With thousands of members who’ve been where you are and are eager to share their own tips and tricks for “surviving Sober October,” our community is a great source of inspiration and support.

From “Surviving” to “Thriving”

In the end, it’s not just about “surviving” Sober October — it’s about learning to thrive without booze. And don’t worry if it takes some time to get used to sober socializing and develop lasting bonds. Here’s how Catherine Gray puts it in The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober:

“Drunk bonding is like a glue stick. It’s cheap and it sticks quickly. But it’s also easily torn asunder. Whereas sober bonding is more like cement. It takes a heck of a lot longer to set. More effort.”

But guess what? Cement can last for a lifetime. Isn’t it worth it?