How To Stay Sober in Stressful Times

You’ve done the hard part: the wine rack on your kitchen counter is gone, the freezer is stocked with frozen strawberries (not vodka), and your recycling bin is full of seltzer cans (not the “hard” kind). Your sleep is better than ever, your Apple watch says your resting heart rate dropped another 10 bpm, and that outfit you bought in a smaller size to fire up some weight loss motivation finally fits.

Friends are asking — what your secret is, and it’s simple — you stopped drinking. But then life happened. Tax season came around, your air conditioner broke in the middle of summer, and your upstairs neighbor got a drum set. In short, even though you got sober, things got stressful again. Stress management in recovery is key, so let’s explore the ins and outs of maintaining sobriety no matter what life throws at you. We’ve got you!

Setting the Stage: The Science of Stress 

Sometimes it seems as if the stress response evolved just to spite us. But there’s a biological reason behind it! Back in the day of our earliest ancestors, danger was lurking around just about every corner, with saber-toothed cats, giant hyenas, and other carnivores roaming the land looking for their next meal. At the same time, disputes couldn’t be settled in court or in an email chain, so hand-to-hand combat was often the only way to go.

Stress is our biological first-response system for dealing with danger. As the name suggests, the “fight-or-flight” response is all about facing an attack head-on or making a quick getaway. Here’s what happens when we go into “emergency mode”:

• We sound the alarm. When the amygdala — the “alarm system” of the brain — picks up a sign of danger, it sets off a series of hormone-driven changes that activate the stress response with the release of the “stress hormones” cortisol and epinephrine (aka adrenaline). 
• All hands are on deck. After the hormones spread the word, all resources get rerouted to essential functions. Our heart and breathing rate increases to power our muscles. At the same time, epinephrine causes a dose of glucose to get released into the bloodstream as emergency fuel.
• Everything else takes a back seat. Digestion and other processes not needed for immediate survival are put on the back burner. The only goal now is to make it out alive.

In the presence of true danger, the fight or flight response saves the day. However, for most modern-day problems, it’s overkill: we’re unlikely to be chased by a bison on our morning commute or find a swarm of killer bees in our backyard (though stranger things have happened). Still, we’re wired to respond to milder nuisances — anything from missing our bus to reading a Facebook post that rubs us the wrong way — with the same “all systems go” approach that gets our fight-or-flight response going. 

Over time, stress wreaks havoc on our body and mind, leading to inflammation, poor sleep, heart disease, stomach ulcers, psychiatric problems, and a host of other issues. And yes, it can mess with our sobriety. 

Stress and Sobriety: Reframing Our Understanding

When it comes to maintaining sobriety while managing stress in recovery, it’s crucial to understand how alcohol contributes to stress in the first place — both while we’re drinking and in the weeks or months afterwards. Here’s the condensed version: alcohol doesn’t relieve stress, it actually causes it.

First, let’s explore why alcohol isn’t (and never was) the solution to stress. Then, we’ll look at healthier ways of managing stress in recovery.

Why Do We Drink When We’re Stressed?

Why do we drink when we’re stressed in the first place? It’s all about brain chemistry:

• Alcohol floods our brain with dopamine. That happy “fuzzy” feeling we sometimes get after a few sips is dopamine at work. Yes, it might feel good and make us forget our problems for a while. But it’s a bit like disabling our fire alarm because we don’t want it to make noise — not a great long-term solution.
• It has a temporary relaxing effect. In addition to boosting dopamine, alcohol increases levels of GABA, an inhibitory neurotransmitter, while lowering glutamate, its excitatory counterpart. The result? All our sensations (including stressful ones) get dulled. This is one reason why stress is a trigger for relapse.

The problem is, both of these effects are temporary. Within a few hours they wear off, leaving us with rebound anxiety and depression. Plus, chances are, whatever was stressing us out in the first place is still there (bummer!).

Why Alcohol Makes Stress Worse?

In the long run, alcohol is bound to make our stress worse. Here’s why:

• Drinking makes thinking harder. For one thing, alcohol suppresses activity in the prefrontal cortex — the decision-making and rational thinking part of the brain. Given that stressful times often call for critical thinking, this doesn’t bode well.
• Alcohol increases physical and psychological stress. Drinking itself increases our stress levels, both by boosting cortisol and by creating cognitive dissonance. After all, we’re stuck in the trap of wanting something we desperately wish we didn’t want — talk about stressful! 
• Alcohol hijacks our reward system. As we know, alcohol floods our brain with the reward neurotransmitter dopamine, which keeps us coming back for more. Over time, we can become dependent on booze just to feel normal: our brain puts the brakes on natural dopamine release and leads to rebound depression when alcohol is out of our system. Stress, in turn, amps up the negative effect by reducing dopamine and making it harder to find everyday activities pleasurable. The result? Our dopamine reserves face an attack on two fronts, sapping us of motivation to deal with stressful situations. 

Even if we started drinking to deal with external stressors, chances are that over time, alcohol use itself became the main source of our stress. Each time we drank, alcohol provided an illusion of relief. And yet, when the effects wore off, we were left with the original problem we tried to drown in that bottle and an ever-increasing drinking problem to boot. Our problems — and stress — only multiplied.

In other words, at a certain point alcohol started providing a temporary “solution” for the problem that it’s been creating (or at the very least contributing to). How devious!

Anxiety in Early Sobriety Is Common

That said, simply putting down the drink doesn’t make the shadow of booze-related stress disappear. Our physical cravings may be gone, but it takes some time for the neurotransmitter balance to return to normal — we’re not playing with a full neurochemical deck quite yet. 

Add to that a stressful external event, and we might find ourselves questioning our resolve to quit drinking. Thanks to a neurological quirk known as “euphoric recall,” we’re more likely to romanticize alcohol as the magic potion that made us feel better, minimizing the negative effects. As a result, that drink might start seeming more and more appealing, upping our risk of relapse.

However, we’ve been there and done that, and it hasn’t worked. It’s time to look for more sustainable ways to deal with stress in recovery and thrive as we continue our journey!

Science-Based Strategies for Managing Stress in Recovery

So if booze doesn’t help us de-stress, what does? Let’s find out!

1. Master Mindfulness 

“Life is a dance. Mindfulness is witnessing that dance.” ― Amit Ray

As far as stress-busting is concerned, mindfulness is as close to a superpower as we can get. It’s all about being in the present moment and observing it without judgment. 

• The goal isn’t to get rid of thoughts but rather to acknowledge the fact that they are, indeed, “only thoughts.” We don’t have to jump on board with them, analyze them, or identify with them. Instead, we become tourists of our own minds, scoping out the inner workings with curiosity, and when our mind wanders (as minds do), bringing our attention back.
• Learning to be present and observing our own mind at work is key to managing stress in recovery. Here’s why:
• It brings profound inner peace. As the Canadian addiction expert Gabor Maté once said, “The attempt to escape from pain, is what creates more pain.” Simply by bringing our awareness to a situation without reacting to it creates breathing room that makes us feel better.
• It boosts our emotional resilience. Science says that mindfulness helps us manage difficult emotions better by strengthening the fronto-limbic networks — the part of the brain in charge of emotion regulation.
• It relieves stress at a physical level. Research shows that mindfulness reduces stress by lowering cortisol levels. 
• It promotes neuroplasticity. Even more amazingly, meditation boosts neurogenesis, (the creation of new neural connections) and promotes neuroplasticity (the brain’s ability to change itself).
• It helps us dismiss cravings. Mindfulness creates a pause that puts much-needed distance between ourselves and our urges. But there’s more! Research shows that mindfulness deactivates “default mode network” (DMN) associated with rumination and habitual thoughts (including the urge to drink). 

Tip: Tibetan Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön has a lovely mindfulness trick up her sleeve. Simply picture the source of stress in your mind and address it with the words “How delightful!” (Feel free to do it silently if you’re in a board meeting or on the train to work.) The charming absurdity is often enough to take the tension down a notch (and maybe bring on a chuckle).

Also, check out Reframe’s meditation meetings and mindfulness resources!

2. Nourish Your Body and Brain

“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.” ― Virginia Woolf

Good nutrition is key — both for recovering after alcohol misuse and making it through stressful times. Here’s how we can use our diet to boost our resilience as we continue to heal:

• Whole grains keep us going strong. Brown rice, quinoa, and whole-wheat bread keep our blood sugar levels balanced and reduce mood swings that stress can cause.
• Protein rebuilds our muscles and neurotransmitters. Did you know that alcohol damages our muscles by interfering with protein synthesis? Moreover, we need protein to synthesize neurotransmitters such as dopamine. One source of this is tryptophan found in foods such as turkey, clams, legumes, and nuts.
• Healthy fats help our brain. Fatty fish such as salmon, mackerel, and sardines as well as flaxseeds and walnuts boost brain function and reduce inflammation that both alcohol and stress contribute to.
• Fruits and veggies are vitamin superpowers. Alcohol misuse depletes us of vitamins and minerals by messing with their absorption in the gut. Loading up on fruits and veggies restores these vital micronutrients and also helps combat stress.
• Supplements can fill gaps. Magnesium and L-theanine are known to help combat stress by promoting relaxation and reducing anxiety levels. Vitamin B (especially thiamine), in turn, is crucial for folks recovering from alcohol misuse. Just get your doctor’s go-ahead first!

Tip: A healthy diet isn’t complete without adequate hydration. Carry a water bottle with you and set a reminder on your watch or phone to stay on track. 

3. Adapt to Life With Adaptogenic Herbs

“Generally speaking, adaptogens help you feel less stressed while increasing energy levels; some are zippy, while others are more balancing or calming.” ― Maria Noel Groves

Adaptogens have been around for centuries but have gone under the radar in modern times. A few years ago, only a hard-core wellness enthusiast could reel off the benefits of rhodiola, tulsi, ashwagandha, or holy basil (to name a few). But times are changing! 

These days there’s a lot of talk about adaptogenic herbs — natural substances that help us adapt to stress by modulating the release of stress hormones and building up our resilience. And the stress-busting effects are backed by science! Here’s how UAB scientist Anna Abel explains it: 

“Think about your body’s stress response as a bell curve — it goes along, peaks and then drops. That whole response is really taxing to the body. Adaptogens help flatten that curve; it is a more mellowed upward movement and therefore no crash.”

Tip: Health food stores have plenty of adaptogen-based teas, supplements, or extracts. And check out Reframe’s own line of beverages! Again, just remember to get a go-ahead from your doctor first, especially if you have specific health needs.

4. Freeze Out Stress With Cold Exposure Therapy

“I think of the cold as a noble force.” — Wim Hof

Now, this one isn’t for the faint of heart, but stick with us. Science says that cold exposure stimulates the vagus nerve and increases the production of endorphins and norepinephrine, chemicals that help regulate mood and reduce stress while keeping cravings at bay. The vagus nerve is part of the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for calming the body, among other things.

Plus, there’s a host of other benefits that come with cold exposure therapy. It’s known to boost our immune system, improving our body's defense against illnesses. It also enhances circulation and metabolism, helping us feel more energized and burn calories more efficiently.

Tip: Start small. Try turning your shower to a cold temperature for a few seconds at the end of your morning routine, then gradually increase the time. Or, try dipping your face into a bowl of ice water and watch the stress melt away in seconds!

5. Breathe Deeper With Polyvagal Exercises

“Deep breathing changes the chemistry of the body by bringing oxygen into the tissue.” — Wim Hof

Want a gentler way to stimulate the vagus nerve? No problem! Breathing exercises such as “polyvagal exercises” will do the trick as well. Polyvagal exercises involve long exhalations that stimulate the vagus nerve. Plus, in addition to diaphragmatic breathing, science shows that activities such as humming, singing, or yoga help activate the parasympathetic nervous system, reducing stress. (And if you’d rather hum than stand in a cold shower, we’re with you!) 

Tip: Check out some simple but effective diaphragmatic breathing practices, alternate nostril breathing, and other breathing techniques to bust stress and cravings in one blow!

6. Make Nature Your Home

“Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.” ― Gary Snyder

One of the best stress busters out there is right outside your window! Science says that spending time in nature reduces cortisol levels, lowers blood pressure, and improves mood. In fact, a simple 20-minute walk outside will do the trick! There’s even a type of therapy known as “ecotherapy” that’s all about tapping into the magic of the outdoors. 

Tip: Make it a habit to spend some time in nature every day. A city park, tree-lined alley, and even the courtyard of your apartment building will do! Better yet, combine nature time with exercise to double the benefits!

7. Get Moving With Physical Exercise

“I don't bother with gyms, I just workout where I happen to be whether it’s in the garden or at home.” — Wim Hof

Back in the 5th century BCE, ancient physician Hippocrates touted the virtues of exercise, pointing out that “all parts of the body, if used in moderation and exercised in labors to which each is accustomed” stay healthy. Left idle, on the other hand, they “become liable to disease, defective in growth and age quickly.”

And modern science agrees! Here are some of the science-backed benefits of exercise:

• It works wonders for our health. Science says exercise reduces our risk of as many as 40 chronic conditions, including heart disease, diabetes, neurodegenerative diseases, and much more. As we recover from alcohol misuse, we need all the help we can get!
• It reduces cortisol levels and helps us sleep. Science shows that exercise helps the body regulate cortisol levels and promotes restorative sleep, helping us manage stress in recovery while cleaning up the mess alcohol made of our sleep patterns. Plus, despite what we might have believed, alcohol robs us of the most restorative sleep stages, so we have some catching up to do. And as sleep is essential for maintaining good health and letting our body restore itself, we should aim for at least 8 hours every night.
• It releases endorphins and dopamine. One of the best perks of exercise is its ability to boost our levels of endorphins — the so-called “runner’s high.” Moreover, physical movement is a natural way to boost dopamine and coast through cravings.

Tip: Not a fan of going to the gym? No worries! Any type of movement — walking in the park (a double win since you’re also tapping into the power of nature), playing with a hula hoop in the backyard, or getting your sweat on with a kickboxing routine on YouTube will do the trick.

8. Hear the Message With Biofeedback and Neurofeedback

“Feelings are just your body talking to you about how you’re doing in the moment … Tune in to your breathing, and then your body, and then your emotions. It’s a little thing that pays off big.” ― Allyson Dinneen

Ever hear people say “Listen to your body”? While it sounds like useful advice, sometimes it’s easier said than done. 

There’s no need to stress, however, because we have a translator! Biofeedback is a type of therapy involving sensors that measure shifts in our heart rate, temperature, muscle contraction, and other physiological changes associated with stress, which appear in real time on a screen. We’re hearing our body’s message loud and clear, seeing subtle signs of stress that we might have otherwise missed. 

Neurofeedback, in turn, measures real-time changes in brain wave patterns in response to stress through electrodes placed on the scalp (don’t worry, it’s not invasive — though one drawback is that it calls for hi-tech equipment and a trip to a specialist’s office). ​​We can then use breathing techniques or other relaxation methods (more on that below) to wipe out stress at the root, before it gets more overwhelming. And before you dismiss it as sounding too hokey, rest assured — there’s a fair amount of science behind biofeedback and neurofeedback. 

Tip: For a more user-friendly take on biofeedback, check out handheld heart rate variability (HRV) monitors that guide you through breathing exercises and give immediate feedback on your stress levels. 

9. Declutter Your Mind With a Digital Detox

“Facebook has been spreading across the continents faster than a highly contagious Asian bird flu!” ― Gemini Adams

Ever notice how taking a “break” by scrolling through Facebook can sometimes make us feel more stressed afterwards? Maybe it’s seeing people lounging on the beach while we’re stuck indoors scrubbing the fridge. Or maybe it’s a comment that rubs us the wrong way. Either way, our online lives can add to our stress.

Taking regular breaks from social media and being mindful about the sites we visit is crucial for keeping stress at bay. And since the online world is full of alcohol triggers — maybe those people on the beach are halfway through a six-pack — it’s also key for maintaining sobriety. 

Tip: Designate a device-free hour during the day and spend it practicing mindfulness, journaling, or catching up with friends. If a whole hour is too much, break it up into 15-minute chunks throughout the day. 

10. Find Your People (and Stick With Them)

“Life is not a solo act. It's a huge collaboration, and we all need to assemble around us the people who care about us and support us in times of strife.” — Tim Gunn

Last but not least, stressful times are infinitely easier to get through with a solid team behind us. Positive social interactions boost oxytocin levels, helping us become more resilient and reducing stress. So don’t hesitate to ask for help!

Tip: Build a support network and reach out to at least one person every day. And remember, online communities such as Reframe are a wonderful source of social support!

Facing the Future 

All in all, managing stress in recovery and maintaining sobriety is all about building a rewarding and sustainable life. Instead of looking at quitting booze as a “sacrifice,” we can see it as an opportunity for change.

As journalist Germany Kent puts it, “It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.” We can be grateful for the opportunity to become better versions of ourselves through the alcohol journey. Challenging as it may be — especially during stressful times — the struggles are bound to be worth it in the end, giving us a physical and emotional “upgrade” we never dreamt of.