How To Overcome Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) Without Alcohol

You’re scrolling through your feed, and there it is — stories of friends clinking glasses at a rooftop bar, laughing at some inside joke you weren’t around to hear. Suddenly, that pang hits — FOMO. Fear of missing out. 

It’s easy to feel like the only way to join in on the fun is with a drink in hand. But what if the key to overcoming the fear of missing out isn’t about the alcohol? The truth is, we don’t need a cocktail to feel connected, joyful, and fully present. Let’s dive into how we can conquer FOMO and still enjoy every moment — without alcohol. 

FOMO: Fear of Missing Out 

FOMO stands for “fear of missing out.” It can be sadness from not being invited to something, longing for the exclusive gadget that you weren’t able to get your hands on, anxiety that you’re doing something differently from everyone else, or even feeling disconnected from a community you’re part of.

It encompasses a range of uncomfortable feelings that stem from the fear that others are having more fun, living a “better” life, or that you’re not being included in something that others are experiencing. And the root of all this? Comparison. Comparing ourselves to others makes us feel like we’re missing out on something when we otherwise wouldn’t. Before we get into how we can overcome FOMO, let’s first delve into how alcohol plays a role in all of this.

Alcohol’s Role in FOMO

FOMO on its own is uncomfortable, but when we add alcohol to the equation, things get even more complicated. Alcohol contributes to FOMO in many ways. Here’s how:

1. It’s Associated With a Good Time

When we drink, alcohol triggers the release of our “feel-good” hormones, dopamine and serotonin, which boost our mood and produce a feeling of pleasure. This tells our brain that alcohol makes us feel good and that we need more of it. That’s how alcohol takes over our brain’s reward system, and it’s what drives us to keep coming back for more, even when we’re trying to quit or cut back. 

When we see other people drinking, this connection between alcohol and a good time can make us feel like we’re missing out on this fun, amplifying FOMO. But the truth is that while alcohol might temporarily give us a feeling of having fun, there are so many other ways to have a good time, without all the negative consequences of drinking. 

2. We Put Our Walls Down

Drinking is like hitting the brakes on our brain’s messaging. Alcohol’s depressant effects lower our inhibitions, causing us to do things we might not normally do. For example, we might agree to do a dare that normally we’d be too scared to do, or share things with people that we’d normally be too shy to share. This is because our normal thought processes that take consequences into account are impaired. So, what does this have to do with FOMO? 

This carefree attitude can be therapeutic for some of us, and we might see it as a way to “let loose.” It might also act as a social lubricant, helping us interact with others, leading to the association between drinking and connection. 

However, while it may seem easier to strike up a conversation when we’ve had a drink or two, alcohol impacts our thoughts, emotions, and judgment, which can lead to inauthentic connections and potentially dangerous situations.

3. We Only See the Bright Side

When we see others drinking, we usually only see the “good times” — sharing laughs with friends, celebrating momentous occasions, and enjoying the company of those we care about.

We only see the bright side of drinking, which can certainly make us feel like we’re missing out on something special. But what we don’t see is the pounding headache of the day after, the dent a night out puts into our bank account, the fights we may have with loved ones after too many drinks, and the health issues resulting from regular drinking. 

4. It’s a Shared Experience 

Drinking is also a shared experience, which can make us feel connected to others. It’s similar to finding someone who loves the same hobby or bonding over a shared appreciation of good food. It’s also the reason why alcohol is often a part of celebrations: sharing something with others makes us feel connected to them. 

When we’re no longer participating in this shared experience, we might feel like we’re missing out on connecting with others, which contributes to FOMO. But although alcohol is used as a way to bring people together, that’s not always the case. 

As we’ve discussed, alcohol can impact our inhibitions, making us say things we maybe should keep to ourselves. Or, we might not be able to communicate clearly or mindfully. This can cause tension in our relationships and even sever our connections with others. 

5. It “Helps” Us Avoid the Uncomfortable

Alcohol is often used as a way to escape or distract from uncomfortable thoughts and emotions. This is because alcohol can boost our mood and make us temporarily forget about something that might be going on in our life. 

Turning to alcohol when we get FOMO or other uncomfortable feelings is a slippery slope. First, we’re not addressing the root issue, which means the FOMO doesn’t actually go away. We just put a band-aid on it. Second, it can lead to alcohol dependence. 

Remember how alcohol can hijack our brain’s reward system? This will make us keep turning to alcohol when things get tough. And to add to it, we can develop a tolerance to alcohol over time. So, we’ll need to drink more and more alcohol to reach a certain point, all while alcohol continues to have detrimental effects on all aspects of our health. 

6. FOMO Can Lead to Binge Drinking

On the flip side, FOMO can be the driver of alcohol consumption. Have you ever had the feeling that you’re ready for bed, but others at the party are moving on to the next place, and you decided to go check it out because you didn’t want to miss out? That’s FOMO at work. FOMO can actually cause increased alcohol consumption, particularly binge drinking. If we “don’t want to miss out” on the party, it’s easier for us to justify staying out later, having just one more drink, and keeping the party going as long as possible.

It might be helpful to tell ourselves that we don’t need to cram a week’s worth of “fun” into one night, and that the consequences of doing so outweigh any perceived benefit. Even better, eliminating alcohol completely helps us have better judgment of when to call it a night. Not to mention, if we binge-drink, chances are we won’t even remember much of that party we were so determined not to miss out on.

As we can see, alcohol contributes to FOMO in many ways, and it actually provides a false sense that we’re missing out on something. Let’s see how we can use this to our advantage.

How To Get Over FOMO: Flip the Script 

If you’re wondering how to not have FOMO, or how to stop FOMO from leading to unhealthy behaviors, the key is to change our mindset. While we might not be able to avoid seeing what others are doing on social media or comparing ourselves to others, we can make sure we’re less affected by it. 

Instead of focusing on what we’re missing, we can remember what we’re gaining by not participating in drinking. Research shows that switching to a more positive outlook decreases anxiety and increases overall life satisfaction. So instead of FOMO, shift your mindset to JOMO (joy of missing out) by focusing on all the benefits:

• More authentic connections 
• Less/no hangovers
• Decreased risk of alcohol-related health issues 
• More mental clarity 
• More stable mood 
• Better sleep
• Increased energy levels
• Enhanced productivity
• More financial savings
• Better memory of fun occasions

By embracing JOMO and focusing on these positive benefits, we’ll find that the rewards of a sober lifestyle far outweigh any fleeting moments of FOMO. Now let’s get into some practical tips on how to have authentic and lasting enjoyment without needing a drink.

Tips for Having Fun Without Alcohol

Navigating social situations and adjusting to the idea of not needing alcohol to have fun can seem daunting at first, but it’s important to remember that the “fun” alcohol creates can actually be fleeting and superficial. Let’s explore these other activities instead: 

• Enjoy non-alcoholic alternatives. Just because we aren’t drinking doesn’t mean we can’t go to parties or events. We may also be wondering how to get over FOMO with friends who drink. A great solution? Non-alcoholic alternatives! These tasty, booze-free treats help you feel like you’re not missing a beat. Check out this list of “21 Mocktails To Order at Any Bar” to make sure you have non-alcoholic choices wherever you go. Plus, you’ll remember everything that happened and every conversation you had!
• Get active. Join a running club, go for a hike, or try a new Pilates class. Research shows that physical activity releases endorphins, giving us a mood boost. We can have a good time and be mindful of our health!
• Relish in giving back. Volunteering is shown to release the “feel good” chemicals in our brain, boosting our mood. Join outdoor cleanup efforts, volunteer at the local food bank, or support friends in need. Give back and feel the joy of making a difference!
• Connect with nature. Spending time outdoors has been shown to reduce stress and improve overall well-being. Go for a walk, have a picnic in the park, or unplug with a camping trip for a refreshing way to recharge. 
• Explore new hobbies. There’s plenty to do that doesn’t involve alcohol. Try creative pursuits like painting and cooking, intellectual activities like learning a new language or taking up photography. Engaging in new hobbies provides a sense of accomplishment and enjoyment.

Embracing these alternatives helps us find fulfillment in new and exciting ways, making every moment enjoyable and meaningful without the need for alcohol. 

From FOMO to Fulfillment

Getting over FOMO without alcohol is all about discovering the richness of a life without alcohol. By shifting our focus from what we’re missing to what we’re gaining, we’ll find that joy and fulfillment come from within and not from the bottom of a glass. Embrace JOMO by diving into new activities, giving back, and opting for alcohol-free alternatives. Cheers to living fully — without the fear!