10 Questions To Ask During Your Recovery

In the wise words of Albert Einstein, “The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”

Finding joy in recovery is all about keeping our curiosity alive. And what’s one of the best ways to do that? Asking questions! Let’s explore 10 fun recovery questions for group discussion (or solo reflection).

Exploring Recovery Through Fun Recovery Questions

There’s tremendous value in sharing our stories with others and exploring our own recovery story through journaling, meditation, or any other reflective practice. Using recovery check-in questions as anchor points for the storytelling process lets us share sparks of insight and can shed light on parts of our mental landscape that we haven’t visited in a while.

Over time, revisiting the same sobriety questions can let us build on those insights. It also shows how our answers might have changed over time — often in surprising ways.

Ready to try it out? Let’s go!

1. What’s My “Why”?

Recovery questions such as this one are great to revisit at any point in recovery. From day 1 to day 1001, it serves as a useful compass, reminding us about our reasons for wanting to change.

And when it comes to leaving alcohol behind, there are plenty!  Need some inspiration? Here’s what Catherine Gray,  the author of The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, has to say:

“I found myself with dozens more hours in the week, heaps more energy, £23,000 more money over four years, deepened friendships, revived family relationships, better skin, a tighter body, tanned legs for the first time ever, the ability to sleep for eight uninterrupted hours, a bone-deep sense of well-being, a totally turned-around positive outlook and an infinitely more successful career. What’s not to like?!”

Tip: Jot down your current “why” and revisit this question frequently throughout your journey. Over time, it becomes a travel log of your recovery, with each entry acting as a passport stamp showing where you’ve been and how far you’ve traveled.

2. What Has Surprised Me About Recovery?

Recovery is full of surprises, and whether we’re reflecting by ourselves or with a group, it’s fun (and helpful) to give them some air time. Good recovery questions are all about keeping us curious and excited about the changes we’re making.

Maybe it’s the fun we had at our first sober New Year’s Eve party (a New Year’s without champagne? Who knew it could be such a blast!) Maybe it’s our first sober romantic relationship or the fact that our skin looks more radiant. Maybe our memory is sharper than ever. Maybe it’s the first time we walked by a liquor store where we used to buy our weekly (or nightly) bottle of wine and realized that we forgot it was even there.

Tip: Celebrate your “recovery surprises” and share them with others — they might seem small, but they’re big “wins.” (More about celebrations coming up next!)

3. How Do I Celebrate Recovery?

Celebrating our recovery milestones is a crucial part of the journey. The “wins” don’t have to be anything grand or “notable” from the outside perspective — all that matters is that they’re steps in the right direction. Maybe it’s the first cocktail hour where we opted for a mocktail instead. Maybe it’s the first sober 4th of July, New Year’s Eve, or even the first sober Saturday!

Tip: For some fun ideas for celebrating recovery milestones, check out our blog about 7 ways to celebrate recovery!

4. Who Inspires Me in Your Recovery?

One of the best things about sharing our stories in recovery is that we get to inspire others and be inspired by them. At the beginning, the idea of not drinking (or drinking less) can seem daunting. Will we still be able to have fun at parties? Will dressing up as the red Teletubby for Halloween without pregaming still be fun? The answer is a resounding — yes!

Here are some pros to get inspired by:

• Annie Grace. Best-selling author Annie Grace found herself in a mostly private battle with alcohol and found a way out by understanding the science behind it and seeing through the illusions maintained by society that “sells” alcohol as a fun and harmless “social lubricant.” In her book, This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness & Change Your Life, she describes her experience in powerful words that are sure to resonate with many of us:
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  “Now, instead of comparing myself to other drinkers at social gatherings, I can compare my non-drinking self against my former, drinking self. It’s almost a joke how much more I enjoy my life. I actually know when I am having a good time, or a not-so-good time for that matter, but my emotions are one hundred percent mine.”
• Elizabeth Vargas. The famous news anchor talks about her struggles with alcohol in Between Breaths: A Memoir of Panic and Addiction. She compares her experience of recovery to the memories of the grueling yet exhilarating hikes she has enjoyed throughout her life:
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  “So I leaned into the mountain, and on I went. One step at a time, steadily, timed to my own breath. Inhale, step left, exhale, step right … Finally, in the afternoon, exhausted and exhilarated, I stumbled over the last ledge and reached the summit … It was only then, as I leaned against a rock and turned my face up to the sun, that I realized this hike, this test of physical endurance, was a metaphor for recovery: one step at a time, one day at a time. Don’t look up at the whole mountain, or your whole life without the crutch of alcohol can seem too much. Just focus on what is right in front of you. Focus on that next step, and do the next right thing.”

Tip: For an extra boost of inspiration, take a look at these sober stars who are making booze-free life look as fun and glamorous as ever!

5. What Are My Go-To Coping Skills?

One old-time favorite? Exercise. Getting that heart pumping and muscles working is as powerful of a craving buster as can be. Plus, it will leave our body buzzing with endorphins — natural painkillers that help us dismiss urges more easily when they come up. In fact, many studies have found that exercise reduces alcohol cravings and helps us stay on track.

Another powerful craving buster is mindfulness. Simply observing our thoughts can work wonders for keeping cravings at bay and is another science-backed method to cope with urges. By noticing each thought as it floats across our mental space (picturing it as a cloud, bird, train car, or whatever other image strikes our fancy), we can choose which ones to believe, hold on to, or act on, and which ones we can simply let go without judgment. A craving? Just another thought! Let’s feel free to let it float on by (or fly off into the clouds, or chug along on the rails).

Tip: Looking to expand your toolbox? Check out these powerful coping mechanisms to handle stress around alcohol (and life!).

6. What Are My Favorite Recovery Podcasts or Books?

Recovery-themed podcasts, books, YouTube videos, and social media channels are great for sharing stories and inspiration. As the stigma around alcohol misuse continues to lift, people have been feeling more and more free to add their voices to the many who have already done so. There’s a lot to choose from, and everyone has their favorites. Here are a few notable podcasts in the recovery world

• “This Naked Mind Podcast” by Annie Grace. Based on her best-selling book, “This Naked Mind” is a treasure trove of recovery stories. Annie has heart-to-heart conversations with people from all walks of life who managed to leave alcohol behind (often to their surprise).
• “The Recovery Elevator Podcast” by Paul Churchill and Kristopher Oyen. This recovery classic has been around for a while and remains very popular. The hosts have in-depth conversations with folks who have said goodbye to alcohol. Recent episodes include topics such as “How Do You Let Go of Resentments,” “Passion Will Return,” and “Balance,” all in the context of raw, personal narratives.
• “Sober Powered Podcast” by Gillian Tietz. Science expert Gillian is a relative newcomer to the scene, but her podcast has taken off in recent years — and with good reason. In her trademark style that’s a mixture of science facts and compassion, she talks about relevant nuances of daily life without booze while helping us understand the neuroscience behind it. (And here at Reframe, we’re all about neuroscience!)

Tip: Need more inspiration? Check out these 10 sober books!

7. What Am I Grateful For?

What made us smile today? Maybe it was the neighbor’s golden retriever who nuzzled us in the elevator on our way to work this morning. Or the chamomile mint tea we’re planning to unwind with at night. Or the fact that Sumo Citrus oranges are back in season. It can be anything, no matter how big or small.

Science tells us that gratitude has loads of benefits and can alter the wiring of our brain. For example, a Frontiers in Psychology study titled “Neural Correlates of Gratitude” found that focusing on gratitude activated the anterior cingulate cortex and medial prefrontal cortex, leading to greater empathy and feelings of reward from social interactions.

Tip: Check out some daily gratitude practice ideas to add to your day!

8. Where Was I This Time Last Year (Month, etc.)?

Do we remember where we were at this time last month? Or last year? What were we doing, and what did the typical day look like for us? How were we sleeping? What were our family and work relationships like at the time?

Thinking about these questions can be inspiring. It’s easy to forget just how far we’ve come, and taking a moment to look back and see our progress is a great motivator. Plus, alcohol takes a lot from us, and seeing how different things are now can boost our sense of gratitude (more things to add to that list from the previous question!)

At the same time, let’s think about the future: where do we want to be at this time next month? Next year? Let’s let our imagination run wild. Maybe we’re in a new relationship, where alcohol is no longer an issue and we can connect at a more authentic level. Or maybe we’re healthier, with lower blood pressure, better sleeping habits, and a healthier diet.

Tip: Create a recovery map to keep track of important moments of your journey and make it easier to see how far you’ve come!

9. What Has Been Challenging About Recovery?

Any journey has challenges and stumbling blocks along the way. Let’s ask ourselves, “What challenges have we had so far, and how did we overcome them?” When it comes to understanding our triggers, it’s crucial to approach the question without judgment. It’s all about experience, and setbacks are part of the journey!

Tip: Look at your challenges as important milestones to celebrate. Just like Elizabeth Vargas talked about in her memoir, the struggle is part of it, and sometimes we just have to take it one step at a time.

10. Who Can Support Me When Things Get Difficult?

Is there a person we can reach out to when we’re facing a challenge? Who has helped us in the past? What kind of support team do we need around us? It’s important to know the answer to these questions. Different types of social support are crucial in recovery — both when things are going well and when life gets rough (as it inevitably does at times).

Everything's better with a solid support system of friends, family members, and like-minded folks on a similar journey who have our back. As Jennae Cecelia writes in Uncaged Wallflower, “Surround yourself with people who don't just ask how you are doing. Surround yourself with people who make an effort to make sure they are part of the reason you are doing so well.”

Tip: Think about ways to expand your support network (Reframe’s 24/7 Forum is a great start!)

Wrapping Up

There are plenty of other fun recovery questions to ask, but these 10 are a good place to start. Think them over, write about them, and share your thoughts with others. Sharing your wisdom and experience is a great way to connect with others and remind yourself that you’re not alone! And keep collecting recovery questions as you go. Soon enough, you might have 100 recovery questions to go back to throughout your journey!